In case anyone is wondering why I'm not responding to emails in a timely manner, or that my blog has been kind of dry lately, the short of it is that I'm going through another bout of depression. I don't know how long it will last this time around, so all I can do is wait it out.
I'm not feeling very spiritual right now, as much as I long for that feeling.
So, that's my excuse. I'll be back to normal sometime so just wait for me, please.
19 comments:
Hi Sophia
I recommend you not waste your time while you are depressed. There are some things you can learn during depression that are very hard to recognize anywhere else. Look around within that dark night and see if you can find some of the jewels that are there. When you return to the light, these jewels will be exquisitely valuable.
ciao,
Raymond
Here's what Rollo May says on what I would call "the dark night of the soul."
"It is important not to forget that any healing process—even what each of us with a common cold is to do about his viruses—is a myth, a way of looking at oneself including one’s body in relation to the world. Unless my illness changes my myth of myself I shall not have distilled from the trauma of illness the opportunity for new insight into myself and self-realization in life, and I shall not attain anything that can be rightly called 'cure.'"
Hi Raymond,
Thanks for your words of support.
I can't help but wonder what the soul is up to during times like these.
If anything, maybe it is here as a reminder that what I think I have grasped is not at all graspable, that maybe the only constant in all of this is change. "Change is the only constant." ~Heraclitus
Thanks for the reminder to seek out the purpose for even depression. Doing so makes it seem less miserable.
Feel you feet. :O)
Thanks for keeping in touch.
I am from Malaysia and I found your blog while searching for spiritual blogs. I am waiting for you to come back as there is a knowing in me that you will pull through this bout of depression. I am waiting .. :)
being without Being
that's the thing!
Don't apologize or make excuses. ;)
Back to basics.
Regardz!
It's allowed to feel down and not post. There is no timeline or schedule here.
Wishing you well Sophia. It's tough I know....a therapist told me that depression has a timeless quality and it seems like one is trapped in it forever...but in fact a little thing like getting a phone call can get things moving again.
Lots of love!
Hi Mossy,
Today I wiggle my toes and feel the softness of my slipper socks.
Hi Low Kian Seong,
Thank you! That's nice of you. :)
Already today is a good day, so perhaps you will not have to wait long.
Hi Siegfried,
Are you still at the hotel?
being without Being... reminds me of what I said the other day to someone: Just be. I mentioned that it reminded me of the Nike shoe commercial that said, "Just do it."
Hi Don,
It's not just my blog that I've gotten behind on, but also my correspondences.
Hi Bob,
The therapist was right. When depressed, it seems recovery is hopeless, but I need to make myself remember that I've been here before and I have gotten out before.
Anyway, I am just going to give up on trying to predict how I will feel from one day to the next. If I feel depressed one day, it doesn't mean I'm stuck there forever. The next day could very well be a good day.
Thank you for your comment. :) I'm glad your browser update lets you visit me again.
Just do it.
Exactly!
Left on new-year's day.
Reading Dr. Ruth now.
We must realize that we exist, in as many moments as possible. Feeling one's feet is just an example of something that can help us to do it.
Siegfried,
The book or the web site?
Dr. Ruth, huh? A more risque Dear Abby. :)
Hi Mossy,
How often do you realize you exist?
I am guessing that the purpose of this exercise is to get the mind to be quiet.
My depression at this point is more fatigue than constant depressing thoughts. Basically the mind becomes numb, and then there is lots of sleep. Definitely not much thinking going on while sleeping. :)
So it's different than before, where I was in a constant "Oh woe is me" condition. Now it's just sleep, sleep, sleep.
I don't know how much control I have over screwy brain chemistry.
Dr. Ruth's Guide to Good Sex.
Learn from stupid people's mistakes.
Sophia,
The purpose of the exersize is to become conscious. Consciousness means awareness doesn't it? We become more conscious by actively collecting more and more moments of consciousness.
One reason for choosing the self (or existance) to be aware of is that it is the only thing that we have direct experience of.
For a long while a made a point of counting how many times I "tried" to be aware of myself. It is a valuable exersize. The count usually came out between 50 and 200, but length and depth are just as important as count.
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