Sunday, March 7, 2010

Drinking from a Deep Well

These are notes that I wrote in my notebook today regarding a short visualization I did that was recommended by the book I'm reading. The visualization is called "The Well of Memory".

I could hear the squeaking of the unoiled metal as I turned the crank that lowers the bucket into the well. My body felt the warmth of the sun. My physical body felt this heat as well.

Bringing the bucket back up required some work as the rope carried a heavy load. I could hear a little bit of water fall out of the top of the full bucket as it landed down below with the rest of the water.

When the bucket arrived I could see the shiny silver goblet in the water. I grabbed it and my hand could feel the coolness of the metal. I gulped down some of the water with its rich mineral and earthy flavor.

The idea came to me that it was fitting to have a silver goblet, as the element of water and silver are both representative of the feminine; They correspond to each other.

I was drinking from the deep waters of the unconscious.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

To Water a Bonsai Tree

Oh how I wish I could remember last night's dream. Something tells me it was probably one of the best dreams I've ever had. Tonight I still feel some emotional bond with this dream. It's strange that I can't remember many of the details but have this emotional connection to it.

Here are some notes I wanted to write down regarding what few memories I do have.

I am a student of a spiritual teacher. He lives alone in the mountains. I think he also teaches some kind of martial art. He rewards me for my progress by giving me the daily chore of watering a giant bonsai tree. It is a great responsibility. In my dream, this "giant bonsai tree" was much bigger than a bonsai tree, but much smaller than a normal tree. It was about the size of a shrub. It was potted. There were scarab beetles in the black soil.

If I remember correctly, I was supposed to water it every day, yet I was distracted by socializing with friends so that I neglected to water it for two days. When I remembered, I was worried that I had killed it.

What, oh what, is the meaning of this dream? I do not socialize much, although I have a habit of using Facebook too much. Perhaps it is distracting me from my spiritual journey. Indeed, it is. I spend too much time keeping up with the mundane lives of people from my past, people who have no interest in spirituality, people who can often be quite negative, people who are very attached to the material realm or objects of possession or money, sex, etc. Facebook is not doing much to place me further along the path, although that is where some of the Rosicrucian groups are. I think my problem is that I have 300+ friends, a large majority of whom I went to school with.

Sometimes I feel sad that there is no one out there that understands me or knows me while at the same time has the same interests as me. No such person exists - only myself. I am far too eccentric for most of the people on this planet. I think the teacher in the dream is the only one who knows me down to the bone. Wouldn't it be nice to trust someone to the extent that I trusted the teacher? More and more as time goes on, I push people further and further away. I hide more and more from the outside world. I desire to be mostly alone. The teacher - I let him down by failing to water the bonsai.