Sunday, August 30, 2009

One Day Left

The Rosicrucian Order AMORC has a special offer for the month of August. They are giving free monographs to new seekers and students through the Neophyte degrees. I am taking them up on this offer and just got my acceptance letter the other day. For anyone interested there are two days left to sign-up - today and tomorrow.

The offer is available to those living in North America and the Caribbean.

For details, visit

Where Birds Fly

Tonight I found some words spoken by Osho that really resonate with me. I am not a follower of Osho or a student of Osho in particular, in fact, the few times I tried to watch videos of him speaking I felt such an angst of impatience just waiting for words to flow out of his mouth; he does speak so slowly. Also I had heard somewhere or read somewhere that he liked to collect Rolls Royces, and I am always a bit turned off from "Teachers" who live such a lifestyle. Well, I'm turned off from the cult of personality in any form. HOWEVER, I couldn't help but pause tonight after reading this:

...Kwatz! It is a sound, found by Zen, that shatters your
mind. At least for a moment you simply remain silent,
amazed. Because it is not language. You have not
expected it. But it shatters you and that is the
whole purpose of a master – to destroy the
disciple so that the disciple himself can rise
as a master of himself. Only pseudo masters
go on forcing disciplehood on people. The
authentic ones initiate you just in order to
destroy you, because unless you are
destroyed you will never be your real self.
You will always remain a persona, a


I once felt such anger toward the one who initiated me because I felt I was being destroyed. It dawned on me a number of months ago just why he once said he wished that he could forget my existence, words which, at the time seemed like a cruel blow. Now I feel only love for him because he opened a door for me. I wish I knew then what I know now; I would have been much more appreciative. I am also more thankful now than ever that he let me go the way he did, even though for a long long time I felt I was being abandoned. It was not that he was abandoning me; he was pushing me out of the nest so that I could fly on my own.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

11 - To Begin a New Journey

"[Her] quest for God has reached its terminus but [her] quest in God will now start its course." ~Paul Brunton

Monday, August 24, 2009

How Mystics Enjoy Food

Spent more time
Earlier at my mother's
Working on her desktop PC

All the troubles I'd had
Were ameliorated
When I realized
It was NOT
The monitor driver
That was lacking
But instead it
Was the video driver
And also installed
A network driver
Now she has normal
Resolution and
Internet access

I have spent a lot
Of time in my life
Helping others with
Electronics, gadgets
But especially computers
So I know how people
Like to pay us with food
My mother included
So earlier tonight
She made some fried
Potatoes from the farm
We visited
And mixed in bits
Of green peppers from
Our garden
And onions, too

Now I'm home
Alone and have
Just enjoyed
Her homemade
Blueberry cobbler
Made with blueberries
From the farm

Anyone who knows me offline
Probably knows that
The last thing I need
To be eating is cobbler
But her cobblers are
So delicious, so sweet,
That I sometimes find
Myself in a trance
As I eat them
She made me promise
Not to eat it all at once
But I think she knew better

Sunday, August 23, 2009

To Big Al

Big Al,
You're not
Fooling anyone

You are just as

To you
I probably am
As well


I learned
To See
From You

So it is
Only natural
That like a
Good student
I see the Teacher
In the Lesson
I learn

Your little al
Is nothing compared
To your Big Al,
But, little al,
You channeled your
Big Al and my Big S
With such skill
That finally
Some things
Have made their
Way through my
And I can
Channel my Big S
All by myself

I screamed
And I kicked
Because I was
Afraid of seeing
What Plato would call
The Light

It's a big Cosmic Joke
I get it now
So here we are
With God
Having a good ole time

Big Al,
Wherever you are
Whether here
Or somewhere in between,
I thank you
From the bottom
Of my Heart

Now to You
I can finally
Be True

A Sixth Sense

In 1999 there was a movie
That turned a phrase
Into a meme
That can still be heard

The movie was called
"The Sixth Sense"
And the phrase was,
"I see dead people."

In the Twilight Zone
Which I sometimes
Find myself,
I feel like the
Little boy who
Spoke those words.

No one would listen to me,
No one would believe me
And most certainly
No one would understand me
If I were to one day
Call out,
"I see God."

She's Got the Whole World

The earth is a marble
That I carry in my pocket
Because all my friends are there

A Mystic Through Her Wine

Jim, in his poems,
In his emails,
Told me many secrets
About the mysteries
And the riddles
Of the Universe
And beyond

But I didn't
Realize it
Until Now

Now I know why
The Ancients
Called wine
"The Nectar of the Gods"
And why Jim
Always enjoyed
A bit of wine

How Mystics Celebrate Birthdays

Yesterday was my mother's birthday
She is now 54 years old
Still a youngin'
She only feels old
Because I'm 31
Not because she's 54

For her birthday
She fixed me dinner
A type of pizza
With a Greek-style
Salad on top
Bake the
Pillsbury pizza dough
Spaghetti sauce
Mozzarella cheese
Mushrooms on a pan
In a bowl mix
Marinated artichoke hearts
Use all the marinade juice
Black olives
Parmesan cheese
And place this
Solution on top
Of the baked pizza
There were leftovers
(Which I just ate)

After our meal
We ventured to
The local
Orchard, winery,
Cheese factory, bakery,
And had ourselves
A little fun
Two giggling girls
Tasting four different
Sweet delicious wines -
Concord grape, strawberry,
Peach, sangria
It was fun
Seeing my mother
Taste the wine
Because she is almost
A wine virgin
And only a few sips
Makes her smile
A bit larger
Than normal
We sampled cheese
And breads
And jams
O my!

She told me
Happily of how
Her sister (my aunt)
Had left a nice gift for her
I like that someone
In her family
Remembers her birthday
My aunt is always
Very thoughtful

The rest of the day
Was spent
With me setting up
Her brand new laptop
Moving files
Off her desktop PC
Formatting her PC
Reinstalling Windows
Tomorrow I must go back
To find an appropriate
Driver for the monitor
But only after I've enjoyed
A meal at my father's and stepmother's
My family and a friend
Are stepping up
To give me company
As my husband is gone
For almost two weeks
Leaving me all alone
With a dog
And four cats
And more chores
Than I'm used to
But it all makes
Great aerobic exercise

Tonight I
Watered the garden
Changed the kitty litter
And settled down
With my laptop
And a glass of
Sweet Marcella
That is the concord
Grape wine
The wine I liked
The best

Cheers to Mom

Friday, August 21, 2009

What Does This Quote Mean to You?

Here's the new rule: break the wineglass, and fall towards the glassblower's breath.

- Rumi

Monday, August 17, 2009

K is 11

You remember the message;
The one that has you
Keeping your eyes and ears
Open for the one whose name
Begins with K.
K is the 11th letter
Of the alphabet.

You said
Your Angel was androgynous.
K is androgynous
Because 11 is androgynous.
Two in One.

Sunday, August 16, 2009


This body is
nothing more than
oxygen, carbon, hydrogen,
nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus
Swimming in
An elemental
Universal goo
Brought to life
By an element
Not on the periodic table.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Not far from where I was
High in the nighttime sky
In the midst of stars,
Two satellites were
Heading for each other
Then passed each other by.


A quote from a lecture I've been listening to, given by Manly P. Hall -

"The alchemist does not manufacture gold; he does not create gold. He discovers it. He finds it where it is. He causes it to grow. He feeds it the nutrition that is necessary for its survival, and when he has brought it forth into birth, then this gold will transmute a world of base metals a hundred thousand times its own weight into the purest gold."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Signs on the Road

Tonight I have a
Better Idea
About the vision
I had of
being Nikola
Tesla's Conductor.
Today while driving,
A sign caught my
There was construction
Work on the exit
To my mother's house.
The sign at the site said,
"Caution: Power
Lines Overhead".

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Strange but Fascinating Tales from the Book of the Mysteries and Wonders of Life

What does it mean
To be Nikola Tesla's
That is the message
I was supposed to
Receive last night
From you know who.

And other oddities...
That are no longer oddities
But a way of Life

How does one
Absorb into their being,
Someone else's
Their speech patterns
And mannerisms
When way beyond the age
Of impressionable
What does it mean?

Back to Tesla...
The impression I get
Says it has something
To do with a Hierophant.
Knowing little if not nothing
About tarot cards,
I will have to look
And see.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I Ching Journal: How do i interact with others without an ego?

i still have to decipher this. i'm trying to listen to You through the reading.

26. Ta Ch'u - The Taming Power of the Great

-- -- above Kên Keeping Still, Mountain
-- --
----- below Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven

The Judgement

The Taming Power of the Great.
Perseverance furthers.
Not eating at home brings good fortune.
It furthers one to cross the great water.

***my notes: The ego can be tamed by the power of my Higher Self. I should keep working on this because it leads to progress.

***I don't know what You mean by "Not eating at home brings good fortune". I'll ask You through another reading. Maybe You're trying to remind me that I need to watch my diet. Or maybe You mean that I don't need to keep returning home (ego?), and that I should instead keep going to cross the great water (the final step?), which will lead me to where I want to be, which is surrender to You.

The Image

Heaven within the mountain:
The image of the Taming Power of the Great.
Thus the superior man acquaints himself with many sayings of antiquity
And many deeds of the past,
In order to strengthen his character thereby.

***Mountains are climbed, so it is an upward journey, sometimes difficult and exhausting, but the mountain, the climb is also Heaven. When I get to the top of the mountain, I will find You.

***I can continue to look for wisdom from the words, history and writings I have been reading because it strengthens my character to do so.

Changing Lines

Changing yang at the bottom means:
Danger is at hand. It furthers one to desist.

Changing yang in the second place means:
The axletrees are taken from the wagon.

Changing yang in the third place means:
A good horse that follows others.
Awareness of danger,
With perseverance, furthers.
Practice chariot driving and armed defense daily.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.

Changing yin in the fourth place means:
The headboard of a young bull.
Great good fortune.

Changing yin in the fifth place means:
The tusk of a gelded boar.
Good fortune.

Changing yang at the top means:
One attains the way of heaven. Success.

***I don't know yet what changing lines are. I have to learn.

First Step

Get rid of me
So that i
Can listen to You

Tuesday, August 4, 2009