Sunday, October 28, 2007

Odds and Ends

I found a record of an old synchronicity from 2006, and I'd like to keep them all on this blog.

Synchronicity Journal May 16, 2006

I was reading an article on the internet about teen drug use. The article was about prescription pain killers, to be exact. Teens are now slowing down on smoking and drinking and are instead looking in the medicine cabinets to get high off prescription pain pills. While I was reading this article, my coworker's cell phone rang. It was her husband. She got up from her desk and asked me, "Sophia, does Hydrocodone have Codeine in it?" Apparently he took some Hydrocodone and got sick from it. This is the article I was reading:

Also, I forgot to write down an amazing synchronicity from last week. It was not only amazing, but quite humorous.

Synchronicity Journal October ?, 2007

My female coworker J. and I were sitting at our cubicles, turned around to face one another. We were talking about plants. I had recently given her a cutting from the pothos that I keep on my desk. I was telling her that a few days ago, our male coworker K. had mentioned that watching for new roots on the cutting would be like watching the clock. As soon as I said his name, midsentence - I kid you not - the door beside our desks opened and in walked K. Immediately we started laughing, and K. looked at us inquisitively. I said, "Speaking of the devil!" All three of us laughed. We had a good time.

And another synchronicity from a week or so ago:

Synchronicity Journal October ?, 2007

My husband and I had been talking about President Kennedy as we were getting dressed to go somewhere. Shortly after, we drove off and as we were stopped at a stop sign in our neighborhood, I glanced over at the yellow fire hydrant to my right. In big raised capital letters it said, "KENNEDY" Elmira, NY.

New Old Dreams Posted

I found another dream journal recently. I've put all the new old dreams on my dream blog. The most recent post on the dream journal blog is a list of all the new old dreams that I've posted.

It's possible that I have more dreams laying around in some box. If I find them, I'll post them, but it might take me a while.

I Know Who You Are

I found a poem tonight that I really like. I don't know who the author is, though I'm guessing it's Rumi or another of the mystic poets. I've been wanting to make audio files for this blog so I finally got together all the freeware I needed to do so. Maybe next year I'll start doing video, but I have to be really bold for that, and I'm not really very bold. That, and I think anyone who posts their own audio or video on their blog must have a really big ego. I don't have a big ego, I just like reading poetry. Over time I'll probably read more and more Zen or mystic poetry for this blog. For now, here's the first. I hope you enjoy it. Just click the play button!

Click here to visit my podcast blog.

Update, 10/31/07 - Thanks to Mossy for helping me figure out who the author of this poem is. The man's name is Gerald Rhoades, and you can access more of his poetry at:

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Are You Conscious?

Friend and fellow blogger Mushtaq Ali from Traceless Warrior writes in his paper, "Conscious and Unconscious Behavior on the Path of Transformation", that most people are not fully conscious in the sense that they are impeded by their own unconscious habits.

"As it happens, not many people are conscious--they have stopped somewhere in the process at one of the points in the process. What is often developed instead are habits--unconscious behaviors or responses--and from this, a habitual nature is created. What this implies is that our choices are limited; our pool of responses available for any particular stimulus are smaller than is intended for a human being. The result is that people tend to be at the effect of their world rather than being the cause and creation of it."

In order to operate at a peak level and to access the higher levels, the three lower levels must be in balance. According to his paper, the three lower centers are the moving center, the heart or emotional center and the head center, some of which dominate a person's being more than others when the three are not in balance. For instance, a person whose mind is constantly in a state of internal dialogue is operating from the head center.

There are certain practices that must be done in order to access the higher centers. Mushtaq hasn't included the practices for accessing the higher heart center in the paper because they must be customized for the student by their teacher, however, a process known as "self-remembering" must be done in order to begin the opening into the higher mind center. He introduces us to a tool known as the Enneagram which, when used properly, can help balance the three lower centers.

If you are on the path of transformation - I think we all are - I highly recommend you read this paper to get a good introduction on how you can be out-of-balance due to your habits, and how you can start the process of living a harmonious life. To read the 12-page paper, click the link below.

If you enjoyed this paper, there is another related paper on the enneagram, also written by Mushtaq, found HERE.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Hypno Cricket

I won't lie, I am sometimes on the verge of falling asleep at work. (This only happens when I don't have any work to do, I promise!) OK, sometimes I do fall asleep.

Today, with my chin resting on my hand, I managed to sail off into the hypnagogic state. I was not asleep yet, but almost. I had a vision of a lone spasming camelback cricket on a white floor.

Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I see a lot of unknown faces while experiencing hypnagogia.

What do you see?

Sunday, October 21, 2007


Some people have wanted to talk to me on the phone, and I don't just give my phone number away to anyone until I get to know them for a while, and I can't make long distance calls because my telephone service at home does not include long distance. I have a cell phone but it's a prepaid phone only so I can only use it when I absolutely have to.

I've been looking for a way to actually speak with people online using voice, and I have found some software called "Skype" that allows free calls to anyone else with Skype. So, if you want to talk, download it! The only time Skype costs money is when you call a real phone, but if you're just talking to someone else online using Skype, it's free.

In the top right-hand side of my blog you can see my Skype status. It'll let you know if I'm available to talk. If I'm online, all you have to do is click the button and you can call me. But, you have to actually download and install Skype, first!

Just a warning, though. I'm not quite as chatty on the phone as I am on the blog, so don't be surprised if I seem a little nervous. It'll all go away if I get to know you over time.

OK, go for it!

Friday, October 19, 2007

My Desktop

This is what my desktop looks like right now.
I also downloaded a cool aquarium screensaver.
I tag everyone to post your desktop to your blog!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Role of Reincarnation in Evolution

Driving the car to work this morning I was precariously involved in thought regarding reincarnation and evolution. For a while I've become comfortable with the idea that reincarnation is a force of evolution, in that when a creature dies, it is reborn and placed higher on the chain of beings, i.e. that single cell being dies and becomes a bug that might die and become a bird, that bird becomes a cat, the cat becomes human. In some philosophies the law of karma plays a role in this process. For instance, if a human commits murder, he/she might go in reverse during reincarnation and come back as a dog. (Stick with me here, these are just ideas, even though they may sound strange.) Over time this process has progressed, pushing evolution forward. In the past, it might have been that the Australopithecus afarensis was the most enlightened being, and then the Homo habilis, next the Homo erectus and the Homo sapiens. (Sorry Mr. Chimpanzee!).

Each era our ancestors died, and were born into the next stage of their evolution. For humans, what's next? Are we to be ancestors to residents of another era, another species? Or after our death are we reborn into something that we cannot presently see, like a spirit or body-less soul? Or do we just work our way back into the Brahman goo, signaling the end of evolution on this planet? (Or, maybe we evolve into some alien species, or creature that reside in another dimension!) OK, I'm getting too "out there" for most people's comfort levels, but you get my idea. I'm just curious about what comes after the human, and well, I won't really get to be around to witness that!

If there is no karma, then perhaps we are just randomly born into any creature in our world, or in the universe or multiverse, going backwards and forwards over and over again forevermore, Brahma recycling itself continuously in an everlasting state of change.

I don't know. I'm just thinking... wondering. It's not like I'll stumble on the answer. Not even nonduality can tell me exactly what is going on!

A Spiritual Fact

You can turn off the lamp but you can't turn off the Light.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Blog Changes

I hope you like the new look of my blog. I changed it from a simple two-column blog to three columns. I personally think this is more attractive, instead of having everything on the right side. I got rid of ZoomCloud. Also, I added links on the right side of the blog to allow a reader to subscribe to the blog's feed using either their blog reader or email. I changed the size of the margins, too, to allow everything to fit on a wider page. Earlier last week and this weekend, I added a widget that will easily allow reader to bookmark this blog using their favorite bookmarking service, and I added a Google AdSense ad on the left side of the blog. (Yes, like everyone else, I'm trying to make a living and will optimize my opportunities to do so, along with filling out rebates every month and clipping coupons.) Last but not least, I made the blogger bar at the top of the blog transparent. You cannot see it unless you run your mouse over the top of the blog.

Let me know how you feel about these changes! I've worked on this blog a number of hours today, and as usual I'm not caught up on comments or emails, but I hope to be tomorrow. Thanks for being patient and for commenting and emailing.

The Predicament of Lady Isabel

Feeling a little better this morning, I think. And so, feeling so, I decided to write a small story related to something the spiritual guide inside my head spoke to me about.
A princess lay in her chambers one evening, mourning over the fact that she could not have what she loved. A wise old man, walking along a path nearby on his way to a symposium, heard her weeping and decided he'd knock on the castle door, perchance to speak with the young woman. The guards, not knowing what to do, told the wise man to wait outside the door as they fetched the king. The king had himself been distressed by his daughter's grief, so he went to the door and invited the man inside. The king spoke to one of the guards, "Please take this man to Isabel's room, right away." So the guard led the man to the locked door, and knocked upon the wood with the hilt of his sword. "Lady Isabel, you have a visitor." "Tell them to go away!" she replied. The guard knocked again, "Your father would like for you to speak to him." "Who is it?" she asked. The guard, not knowing the man's name, whispered into his ear, "Um... what should I tell her your name is?" He whispered his response into the guard's ear, "Tell her my name is Naven, and that I've come to speak to her about her dilemma." After the guard repeated Naven's words to Isabel, there was a momentary silence. Finally, with shaky voice, she spoke faintly, "Fine. I'll unlock the door. You may show him in."

Upon entering the room, Naven gestured towards a chair that lay beside the princess's bed. "Do you mind if I sit here?" Isabel, a little nervous about this man's sudden presence, shook her head. Naven sat down and looked deeply into her eyes. "What troubles you? I heard your cries as I was treading upon a path that lay not far from your open window." Isabel looked down at her feet, and spoke quietly, "I love something, but I can not make it mine." "Is this 'something' a person?" Not wanting to give too much away, the princess replied, "For now, let's just call it 'something'." "OK," said Naven. Looking back up at Naven, she asks, "Can you help me obtain what I love?" The wise man chuckled under his breath. "No, m'Lady. I cannot. But I do have some words of wisdom to offer you, which might help you to see things in perspective." "Oh, well... what words could possibly cheer me up?" she inquires. "It's rather simple. Must you have or own everything or everyone you love?" She ponders for a few moments. "I guess not. No, I guess I don't have to have everything I love." "Very good," he says, "Do you love the rainbows or the moon?" "Yes, very much so!" Isabel reponds. "You can't own the rainbows or the moon, can you?" Naven queries. "Of course not!" Isabel speedily replies. "Well then, just as you cannot have the rainbows or the moon, you cannot have everything you love. You can admire it, and continue loving it, but you cannot possess it. This way, the object of your affection remains free. Look at it this way. Many of the things you own become dull after a while and you soon find yourself wanting something new. Would you want that to happen to the thing or person that you love?" Isabel smiles, "No. I don't want to grow bored with what I really love."

Naven stands up and places his hand on Isabel's shoulder. "There you have it, m'Lady. That is the solution to your predicament." After that, he turns to the door and walks out, exits the castle and resumes his position on the path. The guards watch as his figure becomes smaller and smaller with distance, until he disappears over the horizon. There he went, never to be seen by anyone in this kingdom again.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Fearless on My Breath

I'm slacking a bit on this blog and on keeping up my end of email friendships, so please forgive me. I tend to go through these phases every once in a while. Besides being busy I've found myself trying to fight off what might be another episode of depression. I don't know if it's going to happen, but the past couple of weeks I've felt hints of it. I'm deeply frightened that I might find myself in another hole, but I can at least remind myself that every time I've fallen into one, I've always managed to crawl back out. I can walk into a dark tunnel, but there will always be light at the end of it. I want to put a happy smiley face here so no one worries about me, so here you go - :) This is just a cycle my brain goes through. I'm not mourning over anything or feeling depressed about anything in particular. Who knows, tomorrow I might be right back here throwing a party.

I wonder if enlightened people go through depression. I wonder if my depression will keep me from becoming enlightened. I want to help people get rid of negative energy in their lives and here I am probably swarming with negative vibes!

Anywho... you guys know where I'm at if I disappear for a while. Check back every once and a while, because I will eventually be back. It might even be tomorrow.

On a separate subject, here is a poem I wrote tonight. It is completely infantile, but I can't express myself very well so this will have to do.

Fare thee well, fare thee well
We will never pass this way again
A meeting, a parting, everything changes
There is a mark left upon my heart
For me to remember you by
When you want to feel my heart beat
Just put your hand across your chest
When you want to hear my voice speak
Listen to the wind blowing through the leaves
When you want to taste my tears
Part your lips when it rains
If you miss the scent of my perfumed skin
From the nearby vine pluck a honeysuckle bloom
Whatever you do, do not feel alone
Just open your eyes; I am here

And, here's a song I found tonight that I like. Just click the name of the artist and title to listen.

Massive Attack :: Teardrop

Here's a cover of that song done by Jose Gonzalez. Let me know which one you like the best.
José González :: Teardrop

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

What a Life! :)

I'm in a good mood tonight. I just wanted to say that I love you guys!

And I'm almost caught-up with comments! Tomorrow I should be finished, so check some of the previous posts if you commented on them. There are still a few I need to get to. I like symmetry.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Gimme Just One More Night

I've had four days off from work, and all four of them have been busy days! I haven't had much time to spend online. Saturday morning we went to bury my friend's cat. The owner is mentally ill and can not do these things herself. The ground was very hard because of the drought we've been having, so digging was difficult. Sunday I was exhausted so I spent a lot of time resting. Tonight, I'm going to be backing up my hard drive to a new external hard drive I bought today. I need to do this because my computer is slowing down and I need to format the hard drive and start over.

Tomorrow I'm back to work, and I doubt I'll have anything to work on, so I'll have all day to get caught up on comments and a couple of emails I need to send.

Please wait for me!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Breaking Promises

I don't guess an enlightened person would break a promise. I made a big mistake! I promised I'd answer comments today, but the day turned out to be quite chaotic. I had two doctor's appointments today, a friend's cat died, and I spent a large portion of this evening juggling around with credit card companies, trying to consolidate all my cards to one card, all the while looking for the best APR. It took me about three hours by the time all is said and done, lots of talking to different people, doing calculations, etc. Basically, the time I planned to spend tonight responding to comments was spent on the telephone. So, I'm very sorry I broke a promise!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Ocean is Not in the Drop. The Drop is in the Ocean.

J. sent me a link to a 15 page booklet this morning, by a spiritual teacher named William Samuel, and I think it really tells it like it is! I have found that this booklet enhances what I've already thought and imagined about the truth of reality. The analogies that this book uses to describe reality are utterly clever.

Read it for yourself:
Two Plus Two Equals Reality

And now, just some questions to ponder that I've thought about today:

-The eye cannot see the eye. How does the eye know it exists? (And don't say "mirror"!)
-If everything is a manifestation of Being, why are thoughts considered useless? Thoughts are Being, too! If thoughts were not Being, there would be no thoughts!
-What was Being before Being? Has Being always Been?
-Did Being create itself?
-Will Being destroy itself?

These are just some things to think about, and also to discuss. Feel free to comment, and to ask your own questions should you have any.

I PROMISE that tomorrow I will respond to all comments I've received for the past couple of days.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

On Breathing

Jed McKenna mentions in his second book that our society does not know how to properly breathe, and as a result we're running around in a constant state of panic, in fight-or-flight mode. Most everyone breathes using the upper portion of their lungs.

I've heard before that when anxious or stressed, one can breathe deeper using their diaphragm. Doing so, one becomes more relaxed. I've only tried this for several moments a few times in my life, usually during educational lectures, but now that Jed mentions it, I think I'm going to try to be more aware of my breathing. I hope that after practicing, I'll be able to naturally breathe this way.

Do any of you naturally breathe using your diaphragm? Or do you have to constantly be aware of it, and so force yourself to do so?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Sophia in the Universe

This morning I found quite a penetrating letter written by Ken Wilber. I read it, and afterwards I closed my eyes and imagined in my mind that my consciousness is not just limited to the confines of my physical body. I envisioned that I was expanded, first as big as the room and then the nearby outdoors. I imagined I was also the mountains, and the roads, and all the people that were sitting close by. This is only a small sample of what the vastness of this really is. It is so far-reaching, limitless, infinite, that the universe itself is contained within it.

Mentally, I am imagining this. I can picture it, and can understand it intellectually. I believe it. The only thing that's keeping me back now is an experience of profound realization. I am waiting.

After having read this letter, I have decided that I will have to examine this Ken Wilber guy more closely. Before today, he was just a name to me, a name of a man that some regard as a spiritual teacher, and a man who has written books. That is all I know of him, before this.

Here you may read the letter yourself. Just copy and paste the words into a Word document, and on the menu, go to "edit", select "find" and replace all instances of "Sophia" with your name. If you have troubles doing this, send me an e-mail and I'll help you with it.

Ken Wilber • From You to Infinity in 3 Pages

What I am going to do in the following is simply "describe" the nondual Self right now as it is immediately seen. The following is stream of consciousness, so forgive any goofs. Simply relax your mind and read the following easily (if a sentence immediately makes sense, fine, if not, just keep lightly reading):

What you have been seeking is literally and exactly That which is reading this page right now. That Self cannot be found because it was never lost: you have always known you were you. That I AMness is a constant condition of all that arises, is the space in which it all arises, has nothing outside of it and thus is complete Peace, and radiates its own beauty in all directions. Sophia arises in the space of that I AMness, Sophia arises in this vast spaciousness, this pure openness. Sophia is an object, just like a tree or a cloud that arises in the space of the Self that you are. I am not talking to Sophia right now, I am talking to you. That which is aware of Sophia is this ever-present Self. This Self is aware of Sophia arising right now. This Self is God. God is reading this page. Sophia is not reading this page, God is reading this page. The Self is aware of Sophia and aware of this page. You are not Sophia. You are what is aware of Sophia. What is aware of Sophia is an I AMness that itself cannot be seen but only felt, felt as an absolute certainty, unshakeable is-ness, I AM that I AM eternally, timelessly, unendingly. There is only this I AMness in all directions. Everything arises spontaneously in the space of this great perfection that is the Self, which is reading this page right now.

And you, Sophia, are that Self. You have always known that you are this Self. There was never a time that you did not know that you are you. You can never remember a time when you were not you. The only thing you can ever remember is something that this Self did. There is only this Self. You cannot reach out for it because it is that which is doing the reaching. You cannot see it because it is doing the seeing right now, which means, everything simply arises in its awareness: the entire world arises in your awareness right now. You are that space in which it is all spontaneously and effortlessly arising. You are that One. You have always been that One. There is only that One. Do not pretend you are finding that One. Do not pretend you have forgotten that One. The only thing you have ever known, the only thing you can ever remember, the only thing you are actually feeling right now is that One: the is-ness, now-ness, suchness of everything, just as it is, and as it is arising within your Self—the simple feeling of Being, which is all you ever feel always.

Look at the clouds: they are arising in your awareness: they are arising in you. The clouds are outside of Sophia but inside of your Self. Look at your body and this room. Your body is in this room, but both the body and the room arise IN your awareness. You are literally holding them in your consciousness lovingly. The mountains are arising in your awareness: they are arising in you, and you are lovingly holding the mountains within your consciousness, holding the arising world within your embrace as the dearly radiant beloved. The mountains are arising outside of Sophia but inside of your Self. The clouds, the mountains, and Sophia are all simultaneously and effortlessly arising in this Self, the reader of this page. All that is arising is arising in this unshakeable I AMness, which is not a thing or an object or a person, but the openness or clearing in which all things and all objects and all persons are arising. This emptiness, this openness, this vast spaciousness is your Self, is what you have always been, is what you are before your parents were born, is what you are before the Big Bang happened. Before Abraham was, I AM. There is no before and no after for this now-ness that is the Self. There is only this now-ness of the Self that is reading this page in this very moment. There is no past and no future in this never-ending now. All befores and all afters arise in this awareness. There is only this ever-present, never-starting, never-ending, unborn, undying, radiant beauty that is aware of this page, that is aware of this universe, and that finds all of them IN the space that it is, and therefore all things arise in the unshakeable Peace that holds them all easily in its caring within. Sophia is in the universe; the universe is in your Self.

Therefore, be this ever-present Self who is reading this page. I am not talking to Sophia, I am talking to you. Let Sophia arise and fall like all objects. Let Sophia come into being, remain a bit, and pass: what has this to do with your Self? All objects arise, remain, and pass in the spaciousness and emptiness that is aware of this moment, and this moment, and this moment, and this moment. Yet this moment has no end, you have never actually felt the present come to an end because it never does: it is the only thing that is real: this now-ness, this simple feeling of being, the very same feeling-awareness in which this page floats, and in which Sophia floats, and in which the clouds float. When you feel this present now-ness, there is nothing outside of it—you cannot see on the outside of this timeless now because there is nothing outside of it. Now and now and now is all you ever know, and this now-ness is simply another name for the spacious Self in which the entire kosmos arises as a radiant, joyful, ecstatic swoon of bliss and a desire to share this infinite Joy with somebody else.

Because this page and the mountains and the clouds all arise in your awareness, there is nothing outside your Self. That there is literally nothing outside your Self means there is literally nothing that can threaten it. Since you know this Self, you know Peace. Because you are already, directly, immediately, and intimately one and identical with That which is reading this page right now, you know God right now, directly and immediately and unmistakably and undeniably. And because you know God right now, as the very Self reading this page, you know you are finally, truly, deeply home, a home that you have always directly known and always pretended you didn't.

Therefore, pretend no more. Confess that you are God. Confess that you are Beauty. Confess that you are the very Truth the sages have sought for centuries. Confess that you are Peace beyond understanding. Confess that you are so ecstatically happy that you had to manifest this entire world just to bear witness to a radiant beauty you could no longer contain only in and for yourself. Confess that the Witness of this page, the Self of this and all the worlds, is the one and only true Spirit that looks through all eyes and hears with all ears and reaches out in love and compassion to embrace the very beings that it created itself in an eternal ecstatic dance that is the secret of all secrets. And confess that you are Alone, that you are literally the only One in the entire universe: there are no others to this One. There are indeed others to Sophia, but both Sophia and the others arise in the awareness that is reading this page, and this awareness, this Self, has no other because all others arise in it. One without a second is what is reading this page.

Therefore, be that One. And also give my love to Sophia.


p.s. Do you realize, deeply, deeply, deeply, that the one who is reading this page is the one who wrote it, yes? Sophia, and Ken, and this page, all arise in the Witness of this page, yes? The Self is not hard to find, but impossible to escape. So drop all this fuss about finding and losing, and simply be the One in whom all worlds are now arising. So go outside and look at the beautiful world arising within your very own feeling-awareness, arising within your very own Being, and then, you know, go have a beer or something....