Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Depression and Archetypes

Thank you, some of you have written wondering where I've been. I've been very neglectful where my friends are concerned, very neglectful. In all honesty I'm a very selfish person. On the Jung typology test I come-out 89% introverted, would you believe it? I am very much "in here", meaning I don't turn outward lately. In college I was an extrovert. I was popular in college, even despite the horrible times I had in elementary and high school. I was on the homecoming court in college my senior year. I remember wanting to cry because I never thought I'd be so liked. To know that a lot of people had voted for me on the ballots made me feel like the queen of the prom. It felt so... what's the word... redeeming? It was like I was being rewarded for all the punishment I had to endure. I'm not a martyr. I was just an outcast and never could relate with anyone. And now that I'm older I find it more difficult to cope with life, and I envy everyone else who seems to be able to cope just fine. How can they handle it?? Too many responsibilities, too much sensory input. It's all very overwhelming.

I'm very selfish right now. I mean, when I turn so inward I become very selfish.

The reason I haven't posted for a while and the reason I haven't written to all my friends, the friends that I cherish, is just because I'm having a little bit of down time right now. Whatever you do, don't feel sorry for me. Just take this as notice that I'm going through a dark depression right now and I will come out of it and be myself again, it's just going to take time. Please wait for me and be there when I come out of it. Don't run off and disappear out of my life, like one of my best friends did the first time this happened in 2004.

I feel like a crazy person right now.

I've been reading about Carl Jung and archetypes and I think I've been projecting. I mean, I think I've been projecting some of the archetypes onto other people. I don't really understand how this works so well, but does anyone know what I'm talking about? I hate to think that people that I thought were so important in my life were really just fragments of my imagination. Like so-and-so is so important because he's so fatherly like. Is he really like that or am I just projecting the father archetype onto him? Is it only part of my mind? Am I seeing part of myself in another person? Or the male archetype... what is it... the animus? Am I projecting the animus onto another person, and that is why I seem to get along so well with them?

It would seem that I am really quite alone, and everyone else are just perceptions of who I want them to be, as opposed to who they really are. Or are they who they really are? I don't know. For instance, do you see in me who I really am, or do you see in me someone you want me to be, or something that your own psyche is lacking?

Friday, July 13, 2007


I think that the Diamond Approach, and books by A. H. Almaas, are things that I want to explore.

For my birthday last month, my mother got me a gift certificate to Amazon. I have been looking at books now for a month. I think I have narrowed it down to two books:

Diamond Heart, Book One: Elements of the Real in Man (The Diamond Heart Series , No 1) (Paperback) by A. H. Almaas

The New Hermetics: 21st Century Magick for Illumination and Power (Paperback)
by Jason Augustus Newcomb

The thing is, I also have shown some interest in these books:

Initiation into Hermetics (Paperback) by Franz Bardon

Energized Hypnosis: A Non-Book for Self Change (Paperback) by Christopher S. Hyatt

The Secret Teachings of All Ages (Reader's Edition) (Paperback) by Manly P. Hall

Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul (Roberts, Jane) (Paperback) by Jane Roberts

This is a hard decision to make, mostly because I don't have the time to read all of these books, even though I want to. If you've read any of these, and have anything to say about them, please do so.

Comments and More on Tibetan Mediums

First of all, I wanted to say that I'm caught-up on responses to comments. So, if you've been coming here to look to see if I've responded, and have been wondering where I've been, I believe all comments now have a response.

I promised I'd say more about the event I went to in which a Tibetan medium appeared. The venue was the Muhammad Ali center. It was my first time there. We went to a room on an upper floor level and was seated in the most uncomfortable chairs. My bum became so sore that we ended up leaving just a minute or two before the event ended. We were walking down the stairs as we heard the applause. Now I feel slightly guilty for leaving early because the event was put on as a fund raiser for the medium to raise enough money to start a monestary. I am sure at the end they tried to collect money. It was free to go, although I had to make reservations. Also, my mother ended up calling the day of the event and canceling her invitation. She said she had a scratchy throat and didn't feel like going. I was a little bit disappointed, because I really wanted her to experience this with me.

I already told you about Michael Fitzpatrick, the cellist who started the evening off with quite a performance. Directly afterwards, all the monks in attendance performed some chanting for the audience. Then, the medium, Thupten Ngodup, went on to explain how he became a medium. The Nechung Oracle was without a medium for three years, when suddenly he went into a trance during the Drepung Monastery’s annual offering ceremony to the Protector at Nechung Monastery in Dharamsala. The Dalai Lama and others advised him to sharpen his abilities, and the prayers of the Tibetans were answered when in 1987 he became the next medium of the Oracle.

He also discussed how as human beings, it is our responsibility to clean-up our act, because it is NOT too late to do something about the global warming issue. Out of all the sentient beings on the planet, we humans are solely responsible!

Briefly he went on to talk about how important mothers are to children.

He goes into trance about 15 times a year in order to advise the Dalai Lama and Tibet on political and other affairs.

I must add that during their talk, I was inspired to see if I was able to notice any halos or auras. So, I let my eyes go out of focus for a while, and sure enough I could see a white haze surrounding each of the monks. Quite fascinating!

If you would like to read more about this, visit the web page listed below:

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


Tonight I heard music that made me feel like a baby again. I heard in the music a father softly going "shhhhhhh" to comfort me. I am not saying that as a metaphor. I literally heard "shhhhhhh", but it was not the music. It was a foreign sound inspired by the music.

The musician's name is Michael Fitzpatrick, and he plays the cello for the Dalai Lama. I was only five rows from him, very close as I watched him passionately play his instrument and soothe the visitors.

I'll go into more detail about the Tibetan monks tomorrow. It is way beyond my bedtime, now.

Tibetan Mediums and Oracles

Tonight at 7:30pm I am going with my mother and husband to see a Tibetan medium. I am very pleased to participate in this event for a number of reasons, but mostly because I will be in the presence of a Tibetan medium, and a large number of serious Tibetan Buddhists don't even get this opportunity. Another reason, is that somehow I have miraculously talked my mother into coming with us. I was very pleasantly surprised when she accepted the invitation. It was not, however, without some doubt on her part about what to expect. "Isn't this a little weird, Sophia?" "No, Mother, it's perfectly normal. In fact, I'll be seeing the Dalai Lama in October. Even famous people like the Dalai Lama. Buddhist monks are very happy positive people. There is nothing weird about it." Then she asks, "But won't people think I'm a Communist for going?" This gave me a little chuckle, I must admit. "No, Mother. In fact, the Tibetans are in exile from the Chinese, who are Communists." Then my mother admitted to me that when I was a teenager and exploring "odd" things like Hindu statues, etc., she was worried that people might think her daughter was a Communist. So, this is going to be a wonderful opportunity for me to help open my mother's mind a bit, and for me to get her to see one of the things I enjoy, and that is exploring other religions and philosophies. I am exceedingly happy that her mind was open enough to even accept the idea of going with me. My goal is not to convert her, but to show her a little of what life is like for other people, and how beautiful these people are.

If you're interested in seeing a newspaper article about tonight's event, please check-out this link:

Also, I know I have some catching-up to do on the comments and with some emails I've received. I'm slowly but surely getting to it. I've had a lot come-up lately!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Looking for Love

In all the right places.

I love this little guy. I love his eyes, his ears, his smell, the birthmark on his nose, the way he steals my slippers and drags them out into the hall. I love the soft smooth top of his head, and the way my hand glides over it when I pet him. I love the way he comes to me when I'm sitting down, and puts his front paws on my legs, standing up to get attention. I love the way he showers my old dog Princess with joy, giving her love nibbles and playing rough-house with her, making her feel like a young dog again. I love the way his warm little body sleeps next to mine in the bed. I love how he runs around with a bone in his mouth, and how he pushes tennis balls around, playfully, like a cat. I love the way he sometimes can't make-up his mind if he wants to lift his leg or squat. I love how, when I return home from work, his whole body shakes as he wags his tail.

Thank you, Universe, for placing him in my path.

Simply put, I love Peabody.

Friday, July 6, 2007

The Perfect Human

Has anyone reading this blog ever read the book Sophie's World, by Jostein Gaarder? If not, it's not too late to pick the book up and read along with me. I'm only on page 88. It would make great discussion material, as long as you're not extremely educated in philosophy, because if you were, you might find discussion with a novice very boring. It would be like me - who majored in math in college - trying to discuss basic arithmetic with someone. Although, to me all math is interesting, even basic addition, so I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I've just come to some paragraphs about Plato's world of ideas. I'm sure I could get more information on it by reading a more detailed book, but that would defeat the purpose of reading an introductory level book. I have never had a course in philosophy, so please forgive my ignorance. Anyway, back to the world of ideas. The author uses a great metaphor for this - cookie molds! The cookie mold is perfect, the cookie is not. There is one cookie mold, but possibly hundreds of imperfect cookies made with the mold. The mold would exist in the world of ideas, since it is perfect. This subject had me thinking about what a perfect human would be like. We can not imagine it here in the world of the senses, but can come close. Sure, there would be two arms and two legs, a head, lungs, eyes, ears, mouth, etc., but what personality traits do you think should belong to the perfect human? What behavior traits? What does your reason tell you about a perfect human?

There are no right or wrong answers. I'm just trying to get your thoughts on what a perfect human might be like.

Just A Few Short Videos

These are a few of the videos I watched today on YouTube. I thought it was worth placing them on my blog. Enjoy.

I am thinking about giving whirling a try. Ever since I've had a mystical experience or two, I seem to be on a one-track mind. I want more and more of them. Maybe it can be dangerously like a drug, but I don't see what could be wrong with becoming addicted to the divine. It looks possible that I could have a mystical experience if I give whirling a try.

Father Peter Bowes is someone I read on the Internet from time-to-time. He appears to be a cool guy, because although he is Christian, he seems open to other religions. He is, after all, a mystic, and there are mystical from all or most religions. Mysticism is about a personal experience with the Universe, or if you like, call it "God". Lately, I've been feeling more and more like calling it "God", but I usually don't like to label anything. It's why I wouldn't label myself as following any type of religion, although I will admit that it might be comforting to say I belong somewhere.

If you'd like to read more of Father Bowes's writings, visit his blog at

Thursday, July 5, 2007

One Plus One is One!

One and one does not two make,
But one and one make One!
This is the mathematics of the divine!
Use your heart to calculate and you too will see,
So come along and make One with me!

Drunk and in Love

Sweet wine, o delicious sweet wine,
I drink of you and I become intoxicated.
Hot flame, o flickering hot flame,
I dance with you and I am burned.
In my drunkeness and melting into you,
I do not complain. I praise you,
And become your lover.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Bigger and Better and Everlasting

One drop could easily evaporate, but in merging with the ocean, it becomes eternal.

Little Bee

Like a flower attracts the bee,
You draw me ever nearer.
Your nectar is sweet;
One taste and I became addicted.

You Are

You are the breath in my lungs,
The blood in my veins.
Above and beyond all this,
You are the love in my heart.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Dream Date July 3, 2007 and Dreamku

I had a dream last night. It's the first dream I have remembered in a long time. My cousin, Sarah, threw a party for me. This was a memorable dream because I remember becoming all choked-up that someone loved me enough to throw a party for me. In real life, I have no contact with my cousins, or really anyone from my mother's side of the family. Also, it's not like I'm unloved. I am very easy to get along with. That is what many of my co-workers have told me. Maybe this dream is a metaphor for the love that exists in the universe.

It was my birthday
You threw a party for me
And made me feel loved

Monday, July 2, 2007

My New Friend

Last Monday, June 25th, we were taking a walk at work when this flea-ridden creature was sitting by the guard's shack taking a nice little scratch at himself. The guard of the building I work in kept trying to "shoo" him away. I, however, instantly befriended him. He needed some work done at the vet's, like being neutered and dewormed, but he is a very adorable little beagle who has found out at four or five years of age that he loves humans. When I found him he was starved and hadn't yet been neutered, and didn't even have a collar with a name tag on, so I knew he was not well cared for. He still needs a lot of work, like obedience training which will start July 11th, but he has captured my heart. He is my new little four-legged friend. This now makes number five. It started in 1998, and I don't see any end in sight. Meet "Peabody", the beagle:

My husband chose the name, using the name of the little beagle dog as seen in the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons, "Mr. Peabody".

Sunday, July 1, 2007

To Someone Special

It makes you uncomfortable when I say you're my best friend.
You don't think you deserve the title.
You sit, still and quiet, patiently watching time.
I fidget and talk about everything from the sun rising to the birds' chirping.
Sometimes I think my constant chatter drives you to the brink of exhaustion,
And that is when you go into hiding.
Together we spend life, with me talking about the sun rising and the birds chirping, and you sitting quietly watching time.