I'm getting a lot of information.
Thank you.
Maybe Jim is out there somewhere, knowing what I'm talking about, but he is nowhere to be found.
Please protect Jim and give him my love. I hope he is safe and warm. Please don't allow him to feel lonely.
P.S. I am very sorry for the negative behavior I sometimes exhibit, especially towards friendly teachers who only wish to help. I don't know why I keep regressing to that. I realize it probably has to do with fear, and I want to overcome it.
10 comments:
I bet.
Fear is definitely stunting growth.
What do you mean by growth?
Meeting my potential.
Becoming who I can be.
A better person.
Growth implies that a thing develops into a more mature thing.
Transformation on the other hand implies that one thing changes into another thing.
What are you and what do you hope to become?
I know I'm more than human. I have a soul (or a soul has me). I'd like to get as close to God as possible. (Exchange "God" with whatever word you use to describe This.)
But I can't get any closer until I become better, more pure. (By getting closer, I mean merging... uniting...)
It sounds like you want to be more a soul and less the other thing.
Yes, that's a good way of putting it.
But I know I have to be human until I die.
If I'm lucky, I won't have to be human again. We can only wait and see. But knowing how Karma works, I'll have to be human again just for saying that.
What are you afraid of?
Some things I'm afraid of are unknown to me, but the best way I can describe the fear is to say that I'm afraid of losing touch with reality, because there have been so many changes to how I perceive the world. I've panicked a couple of times. Some old leftovers from my Christian upbringing had me worried for a little while that I was engaging in something sinful.
Another thing I'm afraid of is losing my mind. I worry that my spiritual experiences are simply the experiences of a woman going crazy as opposed to real actual spiritual experiences. They seem so real to me, but when expressed to others offline they show concern for my mental health.
Actually, at this point, I don't care anymore if people think I'm crazy. I did spend a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me.
Now that I've sat here and thought about it, I guess the only thing I'm afraid of is the unknown.
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