First of all, this morning the energies were strong inside of me. They woke me up earlier than I am accostumed to waking up on a weekend morning. Even after listening to a Pink Floyd album and a Libera album, I couldn't go back to sleep. If this is Kundalini, it can be very unsettling. I really need to find support, and it seems I have some resources available to me thanks to the information given me by the entity known as "Spiritual Emergency". Things began to change a few months ago. It all started with the disappearance of my depression, the same depression that has afflicted me for more than two years. I had a renewed love for life. I became excited about waking up in the morning and facing the day. And now, as recently as last week, these synchronicities have started to happen rapidly, and I've felt an expansion of my mind, plus the awakenings of energies in my body.
This morning, while listening to Libera, my eyes were closed and I was imagining that I was surrounded in a white light. It felt so pure. It's probably the first time in my life that I have had chills that lasted more than two minutes. Those chills were a physical reaction to the energies that were stirring inside of me. Imagining the white light as I did, I was focusing on positive energies, and possibly bringing myself closer to the Source.
I keep this stuff off the newsgroups, mostly. Most of the people there would label me as "crazy", so I try to keep the spiritual stuff on the blog and the intellectual stuff on the newsgroup. One male who I've been bashing heads with has already used my "fantasies" against me. I argue with him once or twice and after that forget about it. It causes an inbalance inside of me when I am in confrontation. I've always been sensitive, though I have been working on that more lately. It all started with the help of a young man who absolutely insisted I take-up for myself, so since then, I mostly have been. My whole life I've been labeled a "people pleaser" or "too nice". It's because of my sensitivity. Even when I take-up for myself I begin to feel guilty, though. It was nice, however, a man or woman new to the group stood up for me and someone else, and no one has ever done that for me before on the web. I don't think they were doing it to be nice, they just had a good argument. I don't have strife like this in real life. That's why sometimes I have my doubts as to whether or not the internet is healthy for me, because it really does make me upset when someone doesn't like me or says things to hurt my feelings. Remember what I said about trolls? They're out there. I don't like making the internet my social life, but it's my only choice. It's difficult for me to socialize, mostly because I can't find any friends who are interested in what I'm interested in. They may be interested in religion, but not spirituality. No one around me knows anything about synchronicity, or dreams, or higher states of consciousness. If I were to mention it to any of my coworkers, they'd think I had taken an LSD trip. Every time I think I've made a new friend, the only thing they're interested in is hanging out at the bar, or fashion, and if they're single, then men. No one is really into the "heady" stuff that I am, not even my husband.
Recently I have found a "friend" on the internet. Finally, someone who knows. He doesn't know me, though. I'm just a little person, and he's a big book author and scientist. His name is Dr. Cliff Pickover. It almost seems as if the books he's authored were written just for me. Please check-out his web page: http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/home.htm
He is amazing, and I could easily become a Dr. Pickover devotee.
Forgive me for rambling. I must get to the subject I had intended. I'm supposed to be journaling my synchronicity experience for today.
Last month, I sent my father and step-mother an anniversary card. It was a cute little card; it had Snoopy on it. Today, I got a card in the mail from an old friend. Yesterday was my and my husband's anniversary. The card is the same one that I sent my father. Getting the same card from him that I had sent my father is symbolic of the closeness I've felt with this man since I was in high school. I met him at the camera store I worked in. I developed his film for him and we quickly became friends. He was/is an elderly gentleman, probably in his late 70s now, I'd guess. Every time I had a birthday or at Christmas he'd bring me gifts. When I left the camera store to work in the university I went to, he stayed in touch with me and has to this day. It's nice to know I've been remembered.
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