Tuesday, February 3, 2009

More on Apathy

In an earlier post I briefly mentioned apathy. I mentioned it because that is what I thought I was "feeling". In a way it has me concerned because I feel like I don't have any emotions about much of anything. It feels like my head has been removed from my body or something. It's very hard to explain. And actually, my head has a "full" feeling, or maybe it's an "empty" feeling. I can't describe it.

To summarize things, it just seems like my emotions have disappeared. Before, I would struggle to be in the company of others online, perhaps as comfort or to keep from feeling lonely. Now it seems, that if I had to live in a world alone I'd be just fine.

It's possible it's some mental symptom I'm going through, related to being bipolar or from some glitch in the medications, or maybe I've got some kind of flu or virus.

I am just waiting to see if this is a phase. It seems very unusual to me, very unlike me. I don't want my passion for life, spirituality or people to disappear.


Siegfried said...

I have that sort of thing too. It could be from too much blogging, and googling, among other things. Overload. ;)
You kind of turn into a robot. With programmed intentions, not emotions. Active but detached.

Siegfried said...

Besides you don't really want to show your negative emotions to other people.
In my case I guess I still suffer from CFS. That's the reason I'm taking up meditation again in combination with self-hypnosis.
I've always been experimenting. And it's fun!

Siegfried said...

I think the important thing is to learn to conserve your energy. Don't waste it on stupid and unhappy people.

Don said...


I once read something by a psychiatrist that the very hardest form of mental illness to treat is one where the patient has "gone to their head"; that is, is overintellectualizing about their problem. Maybe just going for a walk, or joining a church group, or playing with your cat, or getting interested in politics would break this vicious cycle. Something like that.

NinRose said...

it's possible that you just need a break from it all. That's what vacations are for!

NinRose said...

So, perhaps you have just fallen out of the mood to be online alot. Maybe your needs are changing.