Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Life Gets in the Way of Life

You guys are going to have to forgive me. I always make excuses so of course that's what I'm going to do now. I have gone from being bored at work with nothing to do, all the way to extremely stressed from having too much to do. As if work was not enough, the holidays are here and so many other things have been going on.

I know you don't come here to listen to me complain, but that is exactly what I am doing. I can't visit blogs and I know there's supposed to be fairness - you visit me and I visit you, you comment on my blog and I comment on yours - but I just don't have the time right now. So please please please forgive me for that. I will still occasionally post items on my own blog because it is my diary, albeit a public diary.

As for comments, I am so far behind that I cannot catch up, so I apologize if you've commented recently and I haven't responded. I have read all of them though and I always do. I'll try to respond here and there as time permits, because I do crave interaction online; it sure beats the superficial non-spiritual interaction of the offline world.

My main goal at this point is to try to remain spiritual even though I'm being dragged back into the unreal "real world". Being so busy, it is easy to get caught-up in the mundane again and life goes on just as it did before my spiritual journey. There are no elations, nor is there any bliss, but I am currently very content and I couldn't ask for any more. On a side note, I am starting to experience anger and this may be the direct result of coming back down from my obsession with spirituality. Of course I'd love to be back in the warm embrace of love and light, but if time has anything to do with it, I don't have enough to maintain things.

I need to start to make time for myself to cuddle up with a book, any book, as I haven't read a full book in a year or more, and that is something I miss doing. I also haven't been creating art since April of this year, and some of the people who have admired my work have been asking when they can expect to see more. I have been feeding my internet addiction at an unhealthy level and it's time now that I start to spend less time online. To do so requires that I stop surfing blogs so much. I will still check my email obsessively, though, as I always do.

Chances are, after things settle down, weeks from now or maybe even a month or more, I will be participating in the blogosphere as much as I used to.

6 comments:

Vincent said...

Yes, Sophia, I used to notice that too, at work: hardly any penumbra between the dazzle of stress and the pitch-darkness of boredom.

Sympathies also with this need to hold hands constantly with the elusive "spiritual". I think bliss can not be continuous in any soul's incarnated existence, because of our animal nature. We are wired to take seriously every threat to our well-being and these threats can be very sophisticated as well as very primitive. Thank heaven for sleep!

Yes, I would like to see you reading a book from end to end. I was planning to read Sophie's World with you but now I am starting to read Conrad's The Secret Agent with Suzan Abrams.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to send you a fond "Hello"

Cheerfully,
~ Christi

Sophia said...

Hi Vincent,

During the months of inactivity at work, I think to myself how much I'd like to have work to do. When I'm busy, I think to myself how nice it would be to have nothing to do again. Being human, I suppose it's hard to be satisfied!

I am glad you've found someone to read with. After my invitation to join with someone in reading, it came to me that I might be too slow a reader for anyone to enjoy my companionship. I am a terribly slow reader, all due to my OCD habits. In fact, my habits in reading were one of two factors that led to the diagnosis. It's not that I'm illiterate; when I was a young lass in high school I would devour a novel in a day, and in elementary school I was placed above my grade level in reading. These habits developed when I was in college, which, as you can imagine made for extra-long study sessions!

Today I have just started reading _The Dress Lodger_, by Sheri Holman. I got it about four years ago after reading and greatly enjoying a book by Emma Donoghue called _Slammerkin_. The book I am reading now was recommended to me as a fan of _Slammerkin_.

I hope you enjoy _The Secret Agent_. It was mentioned in one of the audio books I listened to recently.

Sophia said...

Christi,

Hello to you, and your family, too!

Have you started running around doing your holiday shopping, yet? Yikes, thank goodness for online stores!

Vincent said...

Ah Sophia, yes, we are made to be unsatisfied and we ought to appreciate that and not be driven to seek "peace of mind" which would not suit us at all.

As to the Secret Agent - I don't know to what extent Suzan will be reading with me, but she is going to put out some impressions this weekend - I'll be putting out mine on my other blog Reading Without Tears

Sophia said...

Vincent,

If I were ever to attain peace of mind, I think I would be bored. It's the ongoing action of trying to achieve it that keeps me occupied. I really don't know what I'd do once I obtained it.

I'll stop by your place this weekend and see what you've been up to.

Reading books in the cool weather of fall and winter gives me a snuggly cozy feeling.