Lately I've been feeling disconnected. I want that high I had in February to return. I was experiencing so many synchronicities. To me, those are valid spiritual experiences. Now I feel like I'm aching for them. Don't get me wrong, I've had a few synchronicity experiences since February, but they're not raining on me like a storm. I want the storm. I want more spiritual experiences so that I can be reminded of who I am, and so that I can find comfort. I find myself questioning the validity of my experiences: Were they real? Was it just my imagination? I want them to be real and I don't want it to just be my imagination. I hope that soon, the magic that I saw and felt will return back into my life, so that I can continue to know that there is something special about life.
I'm frustrated with myself right now, because I feel that my spiritual progression has slowed. I almost think that I'm right back where I started. Do any of you ever feel like you're going backwards? Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe I'm supposed to be reminded of my mundane roots so that I won't take my spiritual flowering for granted.
20 comments:
I just wrote a long comments at Vincents, try reading those and see if they help. I have this too, periods of much, followed by periods of seemingly nothing, you have to learn to pass thru each knowing that is the situation and that together, TOGETHER, they are SPECIAL, each of us has a variety of this kind of reality experience regarding the spiritual and the mundane, try to learn and remember to not let the mundane, down, times overwhelm you from your love for the spiritual up times, and so, teach yourself constantly to be patient. That is the best I can say this minute, hang in there Sophia, we are all in the same boat, and you and your present life, are special, very special, don't let yourself be fooled, keep your spirit with you even when it is invisible, hold on to it consciously, speaking your knowing to yourself until you hear that more than the other. I too, have this sort of experience, all do, yours is yours only and special, as each of ours is in the Whole.
Love and Peace always.
Hi Sophia,
It happens. We have resting points in between our epiphanies. We need them so as not to go out of balance. You are never without a spiritual experience. Look around, there's one right under your nose.
Take care.
Don't lose faith, Sophie. It is part of the Journey, perhaps just a time to catch your breath and review where you have been and what you have learned. It will speed up again. With love ...Z
Gosh Sophia,
I wonder this myself sometimes. I go through these periods of blankness, and then it picks back up. I have learned over the years to be totally trusting and patient with this. I also now know, that if we had heighten awareness all the time, it would be hard to stay in the present. Plus we would burn out.
I agree.. It feels so GOOD to have these experiences, you crave more.... It almost feels like an addiction at times, but again... I know the universe/spirits/ etc back off so that I do not lose touch with my base and reality!
Hang in there... It will come back around. Try no to be worried about it because you may be pushing it away without realizing it....
Have a great day!
Just stopping by to say "Hello" and send positive thoughts to the Universe for you.
With hope,
~ Christi
Hi Jim,
Actually, I need to get in touch with Vincent because I can't leave comments on his blog. He sent me an invite, but sent it to the wrong email address. I have another email address that I need to give him to send an invite to. If you talk to him, could you please pass this on to him? puzzledwoeman@gmail.com That's the email address I use to sign-in to my blog. Or maybe you can send him here. I can't get in touch with him, and he probably thinks I'm ignoring him or something.
Anyway, all that was off-topic. I was wanting to say thank you for the comfort that you have given me. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and that all these feelings I'm going through are normal. The boat we're in sometimes comes across rocky waves. I just have to remember to hold on tight and keep rowing onward.
Love,
Sophia
Alexys, that was beautifully said. Thank you. You're absolutely right - everything I see is spiritual. I wonder why sometimes I forget that. You're an angel. :)
Chris! It's so nice to see you, thanks for stopping by today. I've been thinking about you lately and wondering how you've been. Today I am well. Lately I've had some rough days but I'm working on making some improvements. I feel bad about bringing some of my problems to my blog, because I think people come here to find something positive. And the past few weeks I've been letting everyone know about my obstacles. I am glad, though, that everyone is patient and understanding. It doesn't appear that I have pushed anyone away, and I am very thankful that my friends are sticking by me. The same goes for you. :) *hugs*
Hello dear Zareba,
I am probably over-eager about wanting more experiences. Sometimes it's so easy to default to desiring everything at once, and not only that, but to have it given to me instead of earning it or working for it.
Thanks for your comment, my friend. I'll just wait it out and breathe and rest until I start moving forward again.
Lucid,
You're probably right. If our awareness was heightened all the time, we'd get fatigued! I'll just think of this time as a time to regain my strength and energy.
You've described it perfectly! It feels so much like an addiction, and right now it seems I am going through spiritual withdrawal!
I'm going to stop worrying about it so much. Maybe it will come when it feels I am ready again.
Thanks.
Christi,
Thanks so much! And thanks for not being pushed away by my seeming a little odd right now. I try to observe myself and wonder how I come across to other people. Especially people who I want to meet in the future, like you!
Sophia, I read your post with a lot of empathy, but there is really nothing to say in response. I know you are in an extremely safe place and there is nothing I need to add.
There are synchronicities, and these are exciting because they have a special vibe as if some powerful and invisible ally is sending you messages. And then there are ecstasies, which go quite beyond the encouragement and confirmation that you are on the right track. they are the experiences which make you know that you can leave everything this world offers (I mean the things that can be bought, with money or hard work or dedication) and just live for those hours.
We call it a spiritual progression as if in order to get to a certain point we have to pass through a set of intermediate points, as on a journey by foot. But I don't think it is like that. We can be transported at any moment to the place we could hardly imagine, but we can't exactly do it for ourselves. All we can do is let go of stuff. It's as if we are at home and suddenly there is a knock on the door and the visitor says out of the blue "Are you ready to go?" and we say, "Well I need some notice. I'm in the middle of the ironing and there is a pot on the stove and I am expecting a phone call and . . ." and then the visitor might say, "OK never mind then" and leaves. And then we might be full of regret. So the next time maybe we will be more ready.
Sorry I am just writing whatever comes.
Are you supposed to be reminded of your mundane roots? Surely you can have your head in the clouds whilst your roots are in the mud, all at the same time. Like a tree, which wants for nothing.
Vincent,
The examples you gave conveyed your points beautifully.
I think I have experienced ecstasy, but I am unsure. If I did, it was very short-lived. But I'm sure ecstasy is so pure and serene that it doesn't matter how short they are, it's just getting there that matters. I know that what I've felt at times is worth it for me to give up ambition in the career world, in order to gain spiritually. To go from the material to the all spiritual. Once someone has touched the all spiritual, they are like bitten by a bug, and so they devote their time to the pursuit. That is like the example you gave, in which you said, "...you can leave everything this world offers... and just live for those hours." Yes, that describes it perfectly.
Thanks for your input, Vincent.
Hope you had a lovely weekend!
Thanks, Chris! :)
How would you know the high without the low. There is a term that doesn't get much press in the USA --- GOESWITH. Better stated, there ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
The disconnect is the willingness to accept the high and the inability to connect the low that MUST occur to provide a basis to contrast.
It is like a wave in the ocean. A 60 foot wave is really a 30 foot peak with a 30 foot trough. It is impossible to have one without the other.
If you are seeking experience, you are on the right track. If you are seeking truth, look for the center around which the peaks and valleys appear. Truth is changeless and is therefore unknowable via contrast. It can only be inferred by looking for the centerline from which the highs and lows originate.
That said, truth must be always present, exceedingly quiet and completely enfolding and inclusive.
By looking directly into the low points and experiencing them fully is the only way the high points become complete. They are not to be avoided, only allowed to come forth, express and disappear back into the baseline, the same as the high point did.
As a point of comfort, the baseline contains the magic you are looking for, and it all occurs without any effort. It is hidden, however, by trying to bottle and save it for all time. Don't know why, that's just the way it is.
Dear Sophia,
I hope you are in good spirits. Your post reminded me of the time when I felt just the same and asked my uncle about the feeling of 'going backwards.'(since I could not contact my spiritual guide directly then, & my uncle is also his disciple)-
This was what he told me "As far as your progress is concerned, do not think about it. If you strive for progress, you would be thinking in terms of reward and punishment- something that is not recommended by the mystics. Just keep to your prayers. In the end all progress is futile. There is no where to go, nothing to arrive at and progress in these matters is not judged by oneself. One can only hope for forgiveness."
I hope this speaks to your heart.
Love :)
Hi Joe,
That may be my problem - it seems I do try to bottle up all my good experiences and save them for all time. It's like a bottle of perfume. We can save one little drop for all time, smelling it when we please, but never having that drop renewed. However, if we use it all up, it can be refilled. That is my hope for these experiences - I hope my experience bottle can be refilled. Because I did use up all my experience perfume. Now I'm just sitting here holding my open yet empty bottle, waiting for something to pour into it. I believe it will; I just have to be patient.
Since I majored in mathematics, I'll look at this mathematically (sort of). In my experiences, I'll try to find the point on the sine wave at which y=0. :) If that is the case, then the period between November and February is when I was most level, since October of last year was pretty bad, and February of this year was pretty good, but in between those points I was just being....
Thanks for your input, Joe. Always great to have you visit!
Dear Merryweather, thanks for sharing your wisdom with me. It absolutely does speak to my heart!
And yes, tonight I am in good spirits, thank you!
What you said goes hand-in-hand with what Joe said. I like how the two of you compliment each other in this comment section. There is the high and low of reward and punishment, then there is everything in between. It seems that is what I need to focus on.
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