Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Need My Own

Links are beginning to get out-of-hand. The world has shown me, or perhaps even told me, that there are people in this world today with whom it is necessary I link to, not really to keep in personal contact with, but to follow along as they make their journey through this thing called life. Blogging is my way of meeting people who possibly have the same interests that I do. It's really very necessary that I write blogs and read blogs, because how else am I supposed to meet people who think like I do? Or who share the same interests? My interests are really so extraordinarily "out there", that I doubt there is anyone within a 100-mile radius that shares the same interests as me. So, I have to branch out. I might as well continue living my life as a hermit, for that is what I am. It is entirely too difficult to socialize with people, and I have found the older I get, the more private I become. I don't want anyone to know me too well. My life has changed so much from when I was in college. I was, back then, what you might call a "party animal". Every two or three nights I'd be at the bar down the street from the university. Many of the students and even quite a few professors would hang-out there. Surprisingly, in college, I was very popular. I was so popular, in fact, that I was voted onto the homecoming court during the homecoming basketball game. And now, look at me, I avoid people that I might encounter in real life, but find it easy to communicate with others online. Don't ask me what happened. Anyway, it doesn't matter, because I like the peace and especially the comfort. I must prefer talking to people online. I meet much more interesting people that way.

On with the show. I was talking about links, but then I got side-tracked. I really need to join that thing, so that I can have a place to keep all my links, because I can predict that the links on the right side of the blog will soon become unruly.

Here are some links that I have bumped into today that I think I like and just might continue to visit in the future. I may put them in my links list at a future date, when I am sure I will visit regularly. I'll update these as the day goes on. - A Way A Lone A Last A Loved A Long

I post the link above even though parts of it might be too painful to read for reasons I will keep private. Let's just say that the similarities in that blog with things that have happened in my life are uncanny, but, it's not the author's fault for that. Still, I'll read it because it can be enjoyable at the same time. Not all memories are bad. - Dialogos of Eide

And now this next, which I think most appropriate, because, my reality has seriously been shifting lately. It's all happening so fast, though. It's a little frightening. However, I want to embrace it.

It seems necessary at this point in my life that I should read some Carl Jung. (Take special note of the detail about the woman who dreamed about the scarab!)

I feel that what I am experiencing lately may be a heightened state of awareness. What I need to learn to do, is to control it, to bring it into focus. Right now it is all so chaotic, it is like the universe is slapping me in the face continuously, trying to get me to wake-up, but what I want to do, is let the universe know that yes, I get it, I'm awake now. How can I control this? I know there are others out there who have gone through this. What should I call it? Is it enlightenment? Awakening? For those who would care for a good laugh, I thought I already was enlightened. I thought that I had become enlightened only a month or so ago. I gave up my search for a spiritual teacher because it seemed I was learning what I needed to learn on my own, through the help of the universe. Maybe that's the way it needs to be done.

What I have discovered, finally, is that everything is connected. I've discovered it on my own. I have read it many times before that everything is connected, but I have never felt it. Maybe for a brief moment in a religions of the east course in college, but now I'm not just feeling it, I'm understanding it. Everything is starting to fall into place. If everything is connected, wouldn't that mean that everything is therefore part of one larger thing? Didn't someone once say, "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts"?

When all this settles down, I'll probably delete this post. I'm sure in a few months' time, it will all seem like madness anyway. Who knows, maybe that is what it is.

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