I know what's so disorienting to me, lately, finally....
It's that I'm merging with someone.... I feel like I'm becoming one with the one I'm in love with. I never knew it was possible... or never even imagined that love could be felt on such a level. I will not struggle against it. Instead, I wish I could have known this when I was younger. But, I accept that everything had to be in its place before it could happen.
I'm going to just quit worrying that I'm being obsessive and just accept that this is OK and that I can go with the flow. Love doesn't have to be rational. It's OK that we think so much about our lover when we're in love. If people didn't think so much about their lover or love their lover so much, there wouldn't be beautiful poetry or stories.... or music. All I can say is that it's nice to finally know what has moved so many people to write such things.
All I want to know now is.... how much time goes by in the falling in love stage and being in love stage before I return to sanity? LOL