Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Thanks, Knight

Thank you to the Santa Knight - who has given me very thoughtful and precious gifts this holiday season, a beautiful smooth piece of amber with a piece of foliage fossilized inside and the head of Egyptian cat goddess Bast. I aspire to live-up to the title you have bestowed upon me. O:)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Love in the Masquerade Ball

The world is full of beautiful things until an old man
with a beard came into my life and set my heart aflame
with longing and made it pregnant with love. How can
I look at the loveliness around me, how can I see it,
if it hides the face of my Lover?

~Persian song

From This Limited Perspective...

I haven't had much to say lately, so I thought I'd post a parable that I found tonight by Rumi.

I'd like to know your thoughts on this.

SOME Hindus had brought an elephant for exhibition and placed it in a dark house. Crowds of people were going into that dark place to see the beast. Finding that ocular inspection was impossible, each visitor felt it with his palm in the darkness.

The palm of one fell on the trunk.

'This creature is like a water-spout,' he said.

The hand of another lighted on the elephant's ear. To him the beat was evidently like a fan.

Another rubbed against its leg.

'I found the elephant's shape is like a pillar,' he said.

Another laid his hand on its back.

'Certainly this elephant was like a throne,' he said.

The sensual eye is just like the palm of the hand. The palm has not the means of covering the whole of the beast.

The eye of the Sea is one thing and the foam another. Let the foam go, and gaze with the eye of the Sea. Day and night foam-flecks are flung from the sea: oh amazing! You behold the foam but not the Sea. We are like boats dashing together; our eyes are darkened, yet we are in clear water.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Holidays

Thank you for a gift I receive on this day and all days - your friendship!

I wish everyone a Happy Day!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Mastery in Servitude

I first saw this image on the first page of the Meher Baba book I read in August. I like it, so I post it here. :)
Update: Does anyone know what the top symbol is?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Grasping for God

Every now and then I get a little frustrated when I feel like I am losing contact with God. In November, when I had my "experience", I thought I was enlightened. But not too long after this experience I started finding myself getting sucked back into mundane reality as my high mood cycled back downward and I could hear the echo of myself screaming, "Noooooooo!"

Last night I was reading some web pages on Meher Baba's teachings when I saw some poems by a man named Max Reif. As I read them, I felt an immediate understanding of his words, and I felt like he knew what I was going through.

Getting Drunk

Either I've spent the night
Getting drunk in the Tavern of Illusion,
Or some strange wizard
Has cursed me with
The multiple vision of a fly!

I see Your Oneness
Refracted thru a prism
of Manyness.

I try to stagger toward You.
I try to pull the mask
off every face I see.
I try to swim upstream
To the Source
Of this Torrent of Hallucinations
That Thunders each instant out of Non-being,

Yet I am swept by the current
And washed, again & again,
Down the Niagara of Phantasms,
Toward the Lowlands
Of the River of Kundalini.

I try to hold to Higher vision
Like a man grabbing at a limb on a bank.

Somewhere far upstream,
You sit in Silence,
And all this Maya-Show
Inscrutably comes out of You.

The Veils of Illusion
Are a heavy quilt
I cannot lift
While I dream,

Unless YOU Dissolve
The draught of Enchantment
Or the wizard's spell,
With Potions
You Alone possess.

Thank you to Max for giving me permission to post his poem. Please take a look at his poetry to get some Truth-talk straight from the soul.

Igloo Scrabble

Jacki likes playing Scrabble with Puff, even when it's so cold there are ice fractals on the windows.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Have you ever smiled so big your cheeks felt like they were just going to pop?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

A Moment of Honesty

Sometimes I see the perceived impossibility of enlightenment. Just when you think you have it, it's gone.

Just when you think you've finally made it and have finally made a connection, you lose it.

I can't control the energy crashes I experience lately well enough to have steady spiritual growth.

Right now I want to pretend that everything is OK and that I'm a perfect spiritual student and I want to keep the upbeat positive tone of my blog going so that it doesn't appear to everyone that I'm failing. I want the teachers out there to think I'm good enough to do the work and that I'll get it done quickly without giving excuses as to why I'm not getting it done right away instead of just being honest and telling them that I'm exhausted but please give me more time because I always find my energy again.

That's just the way it is right now, especially more so this winter it seems. When it happens, everything is fine, there are no problems, I just need to wait it out. Sometimes the energy is back in a few hours, sometimes a few days, sometimes a week or so, but it always comes back. This is how I was made; this is who I am. I know there is a reason for it. When I'm feeling exhausted I long for the connection to the Universe, and when I'm connected again I don't take it for granted. This is how I have been called. I'm thankful to the Universe for who I am and how I am.

All I ask from the Universe and you in return is patience with me as I regain the energy. One thing I want to say is that I can do the work. I will do it. That is my life's purpose.

Friday, December 19, 2008

True Friend

Thank you to my very dear friend Klaus for being here with me during a difficult event in my life. Thank you also to Klaus for reassuring me that even enlightened people can find such events difficult.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Aristotle on Love

When Aristotle was asked, "What is love?" he replied "What is life without love? Love is like the sun; without light, there's no life"

(The image used above is "Fire and Ice", by Josephine Wall. She has so many fantastic images in her gallery. I highly recommend taking a look at her paintings for they will take you on a journey of imagination.)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Aristotle Said...

When Aristotle was asked, "What is a friend?", his reply was, "A single soul dwelling in two bodies."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Yesterday is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the Present.

~Babatunde Olatunji

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Kiss

When your lips touch the air,

you kiss the Beloved.

A Knight-time Message


One night you will see

That you do not have to wish upon a star

Because you will know that you are the star

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Just Fuggetaboutit

Ignore my last message please.

No, I wasn't trying to create a drama.

No, I wasn't trying to see how many of you had undying love for me by begging me to stay. ;)

Unusual circumstances occurred and I predicted being away for a while.

Guess I didn't have to be away as long as I thought.

This is good because I can get caught up with everyone and Klaus and I can continue playing Scrabble. One should not be such a serious spiritual seeker that one forgets how to have fun. Scrabble is a very important ingredient to seeking. :)

Internet Fasting

I won't be around for a while. I don't know how long it will be.

Please don't worry about me.

Please don't forget me. Wait for me, even if it is a long time.

I am sorry I haven't responded to emails lately. Your time was not wasted on me. Raymond, Celestial Tau, *Klaus*, Charlie, Andras, Daniel, my teachers, my friends, and anyone else that I haven't mentioned. (And just because I didn't mention you doesn't mean you're not important.) I'm especially sorry for not meeting the deadline, you know who you are.

This is not an emergency so please don't think anything is wrong.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Permanent Impermanence

I am starting to notice the mortality of my computer, which is rather difficult since I am very attached to my computer. I wouldn't make a good Buddhist, although I am Buddhist, among other things. My mouse is dying, the one with the all-seeing optical eye. The wheel has almost stopped working - the Dharmachakra of my mouse - so now my mouse has almost reached nirvana, but not quite, as it is going to be reborn through mouse-styled samsara.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


How do you tell a real spiritual Master from a false Master?

Also, Neo-Advaita scares me. Maybe it's because I just don't sense all that sweet love that my ego wants to feel. It's like this: "You feel pain? Too bad. It's just an illusion. People are starving to death? Too bad. It's just an illusion." I don't like tough love. I love love. I just sometimes get the feeling that Neo-Advaita really ignores the development of character. I want to serve and how can I serve by tough love? I want to serve by nourishing.

(P.S. - I apologize for not responding to comments the past.... well... month or so. I read them carefully, each and every one of them. I am not blowing you off by not responding. My energy levels have been fluctuating and that is really the only excuse I have to give you for not responding. I just didn't have any response juice. I will try to do better.)

Anyway, I just want to know how we can tell a real Master from a false Master. The more opinions I have the better. At the moment I've just been going off my own intuition.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


I received my Smithsonian magazine in the mail today. On the cover is a Sufi man twirling with the headline, "The Sufi Question".

At the bottom of the cover is a short list of other things found in the magazine, one of which says, "Saving Hagia Sophia".

I have a wonderful new friend that I KNOW from way back.... we just met yet we are almost completely familiar with one another. This has been a striking experience for me and the two of us are just happily walking along the path together, teaching each other, learning from each other, supporting each other, and of course playing Scrabble together. :) This is a special gift given to me by the Love of my Life!

I would like to show an example of his beautiful wisdom which was given to me in response to a mistake I made yesterday.

Sophia: "Today I really goofed. I've been doing so well with being patient with people but today a cashier at the grocery store really irked me and I could feel anger boiling up inside of me. Back in the day I would have really let her have it but today I just gave her a look and told her she needs to work on her kindness. I was so angry inside though. And now I feel guilty for saying anything to her at all because it's kind of like Life has put this test in front of me to make sure I'm really making progress, and I messed up. I wish I had been more humble."

Special K: "When Life tests you, you grow because of the experience. Worry if Life doesn't test you because then you're not growing. If I feel anger rising I sacrifice myself to Love because if there is no I to be angry it disappears and what's left is Love."

Thank you, my friend!

I also wish to thank my fellow rays of Sun - you who visit this blog and/or leave your words for me in the comments which give me guidance and friendship. Thank you my teachers, my guides, my friends, my travel companions.

Our world is beautiful.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Have a Safe Trip

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting." ~Buddha (or so it's said)

Monday, December 1, 2008

When the Student is Ready, the Master Appears

So there are those out there that keep the Perpetual Lamp of Wisdom burning.... but who protect the Lamp from those who wouldn't know how to handle the Truth.

Where do we go if we have been touched by Truth, but want more? And how do we learn to help others?