Setting Goals

I'm going to publicly state my weight-loss goal on my blog, because if I make it public, I'll feel more accountable for it. Without going into just how much I weigh at the present moment, I'll post some pictures from my past that show where I'd like to be this year. Also, just a warning, that if you're planning on taking antidepressants, be prepared for some weight gain! The medicines are infamous for this. Not only do they cause you to gain weight at rapid speed, but also, when you're depressed, you don't feel like doing anything, mon! So, you're sitting there getting fat and don't feel motivated to do a gosh darn thing about it! Then, one day, when you're not depressed anymore, you look in the mirror and say, "Oh my gosh." Totally shocked that this could happen to you, especially if you were one to take pride in keeping your body fit before you got fat.

(High school senior, 1996)

If you want to be spiritual, there are three things to keep in balance: Body, mind and spirit! The body is a vehicle for your spirit, or if you prefer the term, your body is your temple.

(High school senior, 1996)

Here is my goal: I'm going to lose 44.2 pounds. That still won't put me at my weight in high school, but it at least puts me to my ideal weight. The ideal weight calculator I used said I was 44.2 pounds overweight.

(Flag corps 1993/1994)

(Me and D. 2003? D looks miserable, had just had oral procedure.)

Senryu for March 29, 2007

I wish for you all
Communion with a wise man
Sharing consciousness

Synchronicity Journal March 29, 2007

A little while ago I was checking my gmail account. The advertisement at the top of the page said something about "Genesis Study Chapters 1-11." A few minutes later I looked at the clock on my computer screen and it said "1:11".

Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations!

I wanted to mention this earlier, but didn't get around to it. For the most part I have other areas of life that I am focusing on, such as trying to live in the present moment. Soon, I think I won't have to try; it might come natural, but everything takes practice. Due to my main goal of living in the Now, I have slowed down my study of astral projection. I gave-up on reading the book I was reading. However, Monday night I meditated for an hour. During the meditation, I attempted to have an astral projection. To assist me in my meditation and clearing of thoughts, I listened to some non-predictive sounds and music. The CD I used that night is called "Awakened Mind System 2.0" by Dr. Jeffrey Thompson of the Center for Neuroacoustic Research. It is probably my favorite new age CD, in that it is non-predictive, therefore perfect for meditation. Also, it contains plasma-wave audio recordings sent back from the Voyager Space Craft, that Dr. Thompson got through working with NASA and JPL.

For the first half hour, I meditated as usual. I mostly achieved quiet mind, though sometimes there was a random thought that manifested. I simply observed and went on with it. The next half hour, I worked on some projection techniques, such as climbing an invisible rope with my awareness hands for a while, and then I jumped on a trampoline with awareness legs and feet, feeling my body going up and down in the air. I also tried a ride up in an elevator, and lying in a hammock while the wind blows me back and forth. My hands felt heavy at first, and when I first started they began to tingle as though they were falling asleep. The good news is, that I began to experience some minor vibrations all throughout my body. I have read that this is a sign that one is about to project. I intend to practice some more during my meditation sessions. I'll keep you posted.

On Monday I bought a 3-CD set of PrimaSounds for $51.00. They are produced by the School of Wisdom. I've been interested in purchasing these since last year. I've listened to samples and did a little bit of research on the Internet. They are some of the strangest sounds I've ever heard, and even with the compressed samples that I listened to online, I experienced vibrating sensations while awake all throughout my body. If you're interested in checking out this series, visit http://www.primasounds.com/PrimaSounds/index.html I'll let you know of my experience after I try them out. They sent me a message on Tuesday saying they'd email me again when they have shipped them, and I haven't received that message yet. This is a good time for me to practice patience.

Won't You Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear?

My Little Big Man
One of my guardian angels

In Six Lines....

See with your eyes
Touch with your fingers
Smell with your nose
Taste with your mouth
Hear with your ears
Love with your heart

Music Speaks to Me

Since my spiritual transformation that began last month, music has changed. I used to listen to it without paying much attention to the words. They went in one ear and out the other. The notes were pretty much all that I focused on. Now the words carry new meaning, and they feel more personal, and many times I hear things in the songs that apply to my relationships, my actions, my experiences. Now, music gives me more chills than ever. It touches me in a new place, a place that I only recently discovered. Some could perhaps say that I have become simply over emotional, and that could very well be, but I much prefer to listen to music with my newfound sense. A song now brings tears to my eyes, chills through to the bone, feelings of elation and love. It's magical how things are so different for me. For more than 28 years I was asleep! I do not know that I am awake yet, and I don't want to say that I am because that would mean I'd have spiritual pride, and I don't want to be proud. I just want to be glad and happy.

It's funny, but I just realized something. As I was typing this, I was listening to Yes on my iPod. The song "Miracle of Life" started playing.

It's true. Life is a miracle.

Speed Surfing

I am getting high speed cable Internet on Saturday! I've been suffering with dial-up for too long; it's time for a change. Now I'll be able to visit all your blogs without having to sit and wait for the page to load. In addition to this, now I can download music from iTunes, watch videos on YouTube, listen to Internet radio, and talk to you guys on Skype or something! I don't know how Skype works but I'm going to figure it out. When I do, I'll tell you how to contact me and I'll put a link to my Skype contact on the blog.

My evolution was a bit slower than everyone else's, but finally I'm catching up. :) Now my little neuron at home will be able to receive and pass on information much faster than it's used to.

Daydream, Real Dream, Lost in Thought?

Last night as I was getting ready to fall asleep, I landed in some sort of visualization. I do not know if it was a daydream or a real dream, all I know is that I was lost in the thought for a short while, but what is strange is that I was not asleep yet. It seemed so vivid that I am tempted to call it a dream. It's undoubtedly influenced by a movie we watched the other night, called "Eragon". Eragon is about dragons and dragon "riders".

Anyway, on to the dream:

Dragons and camels are working together as a team. (That's it.)

I don't know what it means. Dragons are mythical creatures, camels are not. How do the two go together?

I've thought a little on this, and just now the thought occured to me that ideas and thoughts that I once thought of as mythical are now combining with the real. They are mixing in such a fashion that what once was not real is now mixed in a solution with what is real, so much so that the real is now a new real. I hope that makes sense. It confuses even me, and I'm the one that typed it out.

From Me to You, All of You, Everything and Everywhere

Dear Universe,

I want to thank you for this experience, this life, and for the meaning that I am beginning to see in even mundane things. I am sorry that for almost two years I wanted to throw it all away, and that I even contemplated taking away this life that you have given me.

Now, I don't want to die. I want to keep experiencing and experimenting and learning and meeting people and so much more! But, lately, my fear of death has been disappearing, because I know deep within my heart that even when my body dies, I will keep on living. So, when the time arrives that I am to part from this earth, I will be able to face it with curiosity, wonder and courage. I am ready to live but I am not afraid of dying!

Sincerely,

Sophia