Closer to You Than You

And He is with you, with you in your search; when you seek Him look for Him in your looking closer to you than yourself to yourself." Jalal ad-Din Rumi (1207-1273)

Wherever You Are....

Happy birthday, Jim.

Do We Just Want Buddies?

I've been guilty of this:

Q: Can you mention something hurtful?

A: Surely most people can do that.

To me, it is hurtful to have to deal with people whom you would like to teach when - pretending to themselves that they seek knowledge - they only want a social community, friendship, 'togetherness', attention and the like.

All these things are delightful: and all the more delightful when consciously indulged in, rather than found by means of deception. Deception in this case is pretending to oneself that one is studying when one is seeking stimuli.

Such people may have the capacity to learn. But they overlay it with shallow aims. They may have been trained to seek smaller satisfactions and to give them grand names. They may, on the other hand, simply be carrying on the demands of babyhood. Rumi said: "When will you cease coveting nuts and raisins?'

The condition can be so well established that people are to all intents and purposes unconscious of its presence.

From: Learning How to Learn - Psychology and Spirituality in the Sufi Way, by Idries Shah

My Holiday Wish List

I know that the holidays are still some time in the future, but I wanted to put my wish list here for anyone who wants to know what I want.

I know the times are hard right now economically, but for those who can afford to do so I'd love it if you could make a donation to any of these charities (even small amounts like $5.00):

The Smile Train
The Humane Society
The Salvation Army (in particular please adopt a Christmas Tree Angel or pay for a holiday meal for a family)

Also, I know the animal farm I volunteer at could always use donations. Just recently they were in the local newspaper because several dumped horses had to be rescued by them but some were too ill to be saved. I've seen first-hand the work that is done by this couple. They live in a motor home on the farm; the animals seem to have more luxury than they do!

And this list is what I want from Santa Claus!

The Cosmic Continuum

A CIRCLE HAS only one centre. But the cosmic circle,
being infinite, has an infinite number of centres, and each
one is the centre of the whole, which, on account of its
infinitude, is neither a circle nor not a circle, so that its
centre, also, is neither a centre nor not a centre.

Therefore the centre, being ubiquitous, is itself the
circle, and the notion of individual centres of individual
circles within the infinite circle is a vain and superfluous
concept.

Metaphysically such is a diagram of the cosmos, and
a simple illustration of the position of phenomenal beings
in a five-dimensional phenomenal universe, in which they
are neither something nor nothing, neither centres nor not
centres—for they are at the same time the centre and the
whole.

~From: Open Secret by Wei Wu Wei

Saving My Heart for You - Yes

I've never seen the movie shown in this video, but the song is one of my favorites. Gives me chills every time I hear it.



P.S. Thanks for the comments in the recent posts. I'll be responding to them tomorrow. I hope you guys are doing wonderfully and are making it through the times safely.

Random Things....

"The three words at the top read: "This is Nature." The lines above the donkey read: "This is the Philosophers' donkey who wished to rise to the practice of the Philosopher's Some." The three lines below the animal are translated: "Frogs gather in multitudes but science consists of clear water made from the Sun and Moon." The text under the symbolic bird is as follows: "This is fortune with two wings. Whosoever has it knows that fruit will in such away be produced. A great philosopher has shown that the stone is a certain white sun, to see which needs a telescope. To dissolve it in water requires the Sun and Moon, and here one must open 200 telescopes, putting body and soul in one mass. And here is lost the mass; other sages cook the frogs and add nothing, if the juice of the Wise you wish to enjoy." To the Greeks the frog symbolized both metempsychosis and earthly humidity." ~Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages, chapter: THE HERMETIC AND ALCHEMICAL FIGURES OF CLAUDIUS DE DOMINICO CELENTANO VALLIS NOVI FROM A MANUSCRIPT WRITTEN AND ILLUMINATED AT NAPLES A.D. 1606

"THE FLEUR-DE-LIS: The bee was used as, a symbol of royalty by the immortal Charlemagne, and it is probable that the fleur-de-lis, or lily of France, is merely a conventionalized bee and not a flower. There is an ancient Greek legend to the effect that the nine Muses occasionally assumed the form of bees." ~Many P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages, chapter: Fishes, Insects, Animals, Reptiles and Birds

Something to read later.... the author sent me a link to his book years ago but I just found it again: http://www.powertoshare.com/dropzone/wp-content/docs/BookofDALETH.pdf

Is the bird shown above a phoenix?

Just some things I've thought about yesterday and today. I won't spend much more time focusing on this; it's easy to get distracted from what it is I'm seeking: to know God.

"1. It chanced once on a time my mind was meditating on the things that are, my thought was raised to a great height, the senses of my body being held back - just as men who are weighed down with sleep after a fill of food, or from fatigue of body.

Methought a Being more than vast, in size beyond all bounds, called out my name and saith: What wouldst thou hear and see, and what hast thou in mind to learn and know?

2. And I do say: Who art thou?

He saith: I am Man-Shepherd (Poemandres), Mind of all-masterhood; I know what thou desirest and I'm with thee everywhere.

3. [And] I reply: I long to learn the things that are, and comprehend their nature, and know God. This is, I said, what I desire to hear.

He answered back to me: Hold in thy mind all thou wouldst know, and I will teach thee."

~
The Corpus Hermeticum
translated by G.R.S. Mead

(I do like the translation offered in the beginning of this book, The Way of Hermes: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0892811862/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link

This book looks nice, too:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0874779502/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link

(This post was written in a hurry. Sorry it seems rushed. I just wanted to post the links to some things I'm going to look into later. The Hermes texts are in particular something I want to look into.)

Also, sometimes this blog doesn't load and I've had occasional problems posting here. I've contacted Blogger.

Another problem I've found is that people with AOL can't send me emails. I don't know why. If you use AOL email will you try to send me a message? Thanks.

Pooh, and Piglet, Too

While camping a couple days ago I read "The Tao of Pooh" out loud to my husband. He started losing his eyesight a while ago and now doesn't read books because of it. It's the first time I've ever read an entire book to him. Both of us had a great time with this little gem of literature. (It's possible that a tradition has begun, for already I have been planning on reading "The Wind in the Willows" to him.)

Has anyone read "The Tao of Pooh"?

Ten minutes ago I ordered the companion book, "The Te of Piglet". I've already prepared my husband for a reading and I can't wait until it arrives in the mail!

"The Sayings of Confucius" still sits on my bookshelf. Maybe I'll read it after Piglet.

The Mirror of Self - Diary Entries from October 20 and 21, 2008

This post stems from an exercise on page 49 of this book: http://books.google.com/books?id=hoWH7QCICDIC It is an entry that I made into my journal while camping.

I put off doing this exercise for a long time because I couldn't find the right meditative moment. I ended up doing it in the motor home while camping. It took a while to get into a proper meditative state. Once there, I stared deeply into my eyes. I could see my reflection in them in the mirror and wondered if it went on into infinity, like infinite mirror reflections. I knew I'd never be able to see my face as it really is; I can only see a reflection through a mirror. The image in the mirror is only an illusion. The eye cannot see itself.

Are we humans only an illusion, a mirror image of what's real? Does God see Itself through humans or all living things?

I can't see myself from outside myself. Is God so omnipotent that It can see Itself from outside Itself? (Wait, there is no "outside".)

*(While meditating, I heard the t.v. in the other room say, "You are two people in one body," and I thought of the androgyne nature of God.)*

-----
-Journal entry from October 21, 2008-

Yesterday I was being silly. I gave the peace sign to my husband and said, "Elvis is in the building." Today I was reading the Psychology Today magazine and on page 33 was an article called, "Elvis is in the Building." The picture for the article shows four Elvis impersonators. One of them is giving the peace sign.

Within the same hour we were in the motor home. My husband was in the bed napping. (Well, I should say he was *trying* to nap.) We were talking and when he wanted to go back to sleep he said, "Silence!" In response, I sang a line from the Simon & Garfunkel song "Sound of Silence". Ten minutes later he got up and wanted to test out the radio and speaker system so he told me to turn on the radio. When I turned it on, "The Sound of Silence" was playing.

The Inn of Light and Mint

I had wondered a few times recently if it's possible someone could be enlightened and not know whether or not they're enlightened. I know I'm not enlightened but if I ever will be, would I know? Sometimes I feel like I could be content with what I know now, that there is a God, when I had spent years in uncertainty. But, knowing of the existence of God doesn't necessarily mean I know God. It could be that just by breathing I know God. Would I know that I know?

I also wondered if those who felt they were enlightened thought their journey was over.

Whether or not enlightenment is some final perfect goal, to me it's the journey that is more important than the goal. To claim enlightenment is to say the journey is over, that there is no more growing to be done. What happens to someone when they reach enlightenment? Do they have nothing more to accomplish spiritually?

There is no end to infinity, no end-finity. No end-lightenment. Just constant en-lightenment.

At least, that's what I think.

Jim of the Jungle

Most of us "spiritual bloggers" know that Jim disappeared into the void over a month ago. I called him shortly after his disappearance and he sounded a bit confused when he answered. Now, we all know Jim was always a little confused, but in a very endearing way. However, I was concerned after hanging up with him because he didn't sound like himself. He always sounded happy to hear from me, but this last time he didn't even seem to recognize me. For those of us who visited his blog frequently, we know he appeared to be going through some type of inner struggle during the last month of his writings and that eventually he ended up deleting almost all of the posts on his blogs.

I can no longer hide my worry. I am deeply concerned about Jim.

His birthday is Halloween. I will be sending him a card but I am almost fearful that it will be returned to me by the owners of the place he was/is living in; I'm afraid something has happened to him, or that he's been taken away by men in white coats.

Jim, if you read this, please let us know that you're still alive. Everyone is looking for you.

I wrote this letter to you tonight:

Jim,

Are you around?

People have been looking for you at your blog.

I have been looking for you.

Maybe if I told you I needed you, you would come out from hiding.

I'm going through lots of confusion. I've really been pulled into esotericism and I start worrying that I'll go to Hell because my Christian lessons from childhood told me that occultism is sinful, yet I no longer consider myself Christian, as you know. At the same time, I'm starting to teach myself Kabbalah and am enjoying it and want to learn more. I don't know what is right and what is wrong. There are so many paths to take in life and I don't know which is the right one.

Come out come out wherever you are. I need your help and guidance.

Love always,

Sophia

P.S. Jim, I come to you because I know you have warned me several times against esotericism and yet you seemed to have mastered Kabbalah. I know you will know how to answer my question.

Prayers, Please

Please pray for and send energy to Dave from the Serenity and Love blog. Tomorrow he is going through surgery to replace a heart valve.

Our thoughts are with you, Dave.

The Fleur de Lis Strikes Again

I wanted to see if a book was available on ebay so I typed in "The Reluctant Messenger" in the search field. The first link to the product that came up was from a store called "Fleurdelis18".

My friend Don says his mother painted the Fleur de Lis motif in the bathroom of their house.

On a different yet similar note, I left a comment on "A New Soul's" blog. In return she visited my blog and saw that I had a dream about being a Rosicrucian. Her grandmother was a Rosicrucian in the 1950s. After seeing my dream, she was inspired to do a web search for her grandmother's name and found a poem that her grandmother wrote for a Rosicrucian digest. You can read the story of our shared experience here, as well as the poem: http://followthesigns.blogspot.com/2008/10/directional-synchronicity-synchronicity.html

P.S. I'll respond to comments tomorrow. I had the flu shot earlier today and it's made me ill for a short while, so I don't have much energy. hehehe... I'd rather be sick for one day than for a week or more, though! I'm going to bed now. If I feel better in the morning I'm going on a group hike, then at 3:00pm my best friend from college is getting married at the university we went to. Sunday, my husband wants to go camping (again) so I'll be gone for two nights. Last weekend when we went I enjoyed myself; I spent some time solving brain teasers.

P.P.S. I've noticed that I'm not interested in movies anymore. I watch them when my husband wants to watch them, but I can't get pulled into the story anymore. It's like the suspension-of-disbelief mechanism has stopped functioning in my brain. Movies just seem so... well... mundane. Has this happened to anyone else?

Free Rice - Nothing to Download

Someone responded to my Free Rice challenge sweepstakes and said that free games are a hassle to download. There is NOTHING, I repeat, nothing to download to participate in this charity. All you do is look at four words on a screen and pick the word that has the same meaning as the one displayed on top. There is nothing difficult about it at all, and given that it asks for no information, no sign-up and no download, it's a very convenient way to help hungry people. The more people that play, the more rice gets donated. It could take less than 10 minutes to reach the 1000-grain requirement that I asked for but if it's too much to ask for, I'll lower the requirement to 500 grains.

C'mon people, I've been talking about this charity for a long time and this last time I even got a gift card to entice people to play! Please take just five minutes so you can see for yourself how easy it is. I don't mean to sound like a proselytizer or anything but you can only realize how good something is if you do it for yourself. This benefits you in more ways than one while it benefits someone else who needs it.

This is a legitimate charity and has even been featured on 60 Minutes. There are other links on the Free Rice page that you can look at that shows the stats of how many grains of rice have been donated per month and much more information.

I do not have any affiliation with the Free Rice page, any of its sponsors nor with the UN World Food Programme.

Circle Enclosing the Cross

It really is truly amazing how once I learn about certain symbols I start to see them all over the place. Yesterday I mentioned how I started to frequently see the Fleur de Lis. I also mentioned that I saw windows in a plaza that were in the shape of the circle enclosing the cross. I first (consciously) came across this symbol in the book I'm reading on Kabbalah. The book called it the "cross of elements", and it is the symbol of the sephirah Malkuth. Then, while I was skimming through some Rosicrucian texts I saw it there, too.

"In order to understand the symbology of the Universal Androgyne, it is necessary to first become familiar with the two ancient symbols of Sex. In all the ancient philosophies and religions, we find that the "Cross" (+) is the symbol of the Male; and the "Circle" (O) the symbol of the Female." ~The Secret Doctrine of the Rosicrucians, Part IV, The Universal Androgyne

Today, while volunteering at the animal rescue farm, I saw a pet carrier sitting on its rear end. The underside of the carrier was showing and in the center was a huge circle enclosing a cross. A half hour later I was sitting in a chair on break and saw that the handle of a container was a wheel in which a cross was enclosed.

Free Rice Challenge Sweepstakes

A few times on this blog I've made mention of the Free Rice program online that lets you donate rice for free to help those who are hungry. As I said before, you play a fun little vocabulary game and for each answer you get right certain sponsors donate 20 grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Program to help end hunger. These begin to add up after a while. To entice you to try it out, I'm giving away one gift card to Blockbuster good for one movie or game rental to one random person that comments on this post. To be entered into the sweepstakes, all you have to do is go to the Free Rice web page and play the game long enough to donate 1000 grains of rice. After you have finished, come back to this blog and leave a comment on this post. At the end of October or beginning of November, I will use randomizer.org to choose a random person from all the entries to whom I will send the gift card in the mail. If you are chosen, I will contact you to get your address, so please make sure I have some way of getting in touch with you through email when you leave your comment.

Free Rice does not ask for any information. You do not have to join anything.

There are more games in addition to the vocabulary game. You can choose the type of game you want to play by by choosing "Subjects" at the top of the screen.

You do not need high speed Internet to participate.

The gift card expires on December 31, 2008, so if you win be sure to use it before then.

I am not an employee of this organization. Neither Freerice.com or the UN World Food Program know that I am hosting this challenge. I'm just trying to help raise awareness. The reason I am offering this small sweepstakes is because I hope others will try it for themselves and possibly let it become a habit as well as help to spread the word around.

I will send the gift card to any address within the 50 states in the US. However, if you are from another country, please give the game a try anyway!

To begin, click the Free Rice icon at the top right of my blog on the sidebar. Then, return here and comment on this particular post to let me know that you've completed the 1000-grain requirement. It really does not take that long to reach that goal, I promise.

Have fun, and good luck. :)

I'm Being Followed Around by a Symbol

Ever since I learned about the gradual transformation from the image of the bee into the Fleur de Lis, I've been seeing it quite often. Today I saw it all over the place. I was on the way home from an appointment and saw it on the sign of a building. I was visiting an old college friend's web page and saw it on one of his buttons. I was shopping in Dillard's and saw it on a men's shirt hanging on the rack.

I can't even begin to list the rest of the times I've seen it.

Also, I noticed that one of the plaza buildings down the road from where I live have windows that are circular with a cross inside them, like the cross of elements, or the Rosicrucian symbol. I meant to take a picture of them but I keep forgetting to bring my camera when I'm out.

P.S. I'll respond to comments in the morning. I've spent hours tonight going through and deleting posts from this blog, so I need to go to bed. I'm hoping to be able to wake-up early enough in the morning to go do volunteer work with my stepmother at the animal rescue farm.

P.P.S. Sometime tomorrow I'm going to try to entice people to play the Free Rice game by offering a small prize. You'll see the post when I have time to write it!

P.S. to the Previous Post

A friend sent me an email after reading the previous post and he asked, "What makes you think God is a 'he'?"

It's a good question, so just for clarification, this is the response I sent to him:

"I don't. It's just that it's a common term used for God and it's shorter and more attractive than saying He/She/It. :) I am sure God is actually quite androgynous."

(By the way, my opinions about God or the Universe are simply that, just opinions. I cannot say that I am settled on my opinions. As I learn more about myself I hope to learn more about God. I am very open to hearing about others' ideas about God or anything I speak about on this blog.)

Something Bigger Than My Wildest Dreams

In a comment on the previous post here, Don brought up the Global Brain as he saw a relation between it and the thoughts that sprang forth from my imagination. This sent me to respond in a manner similar to a stream-of-consciousness. Soon my response was long enough for a blog post, so here are my thoughts.

Every creature from the beginning of time could be a neuron in this brain, perhaps being eyes for the one Great Mind. However, going a bit beyond the global idea, I think it is a Universal brain. We do not know whether or not there are beings on other planets. The global brain idea is slightly anthropomorphic and anthropocentric. Also, I think the global brain idea is very closely related to the Gaia Hypothesis, although currently I don't believe humans are considered a part of Gaia. Where Gaia is the earth as a living organism, I think the Universe as a whole is one organism. I could even imagine it is more expanded than this. My thought is not just a pantheistic belief, but instead is panentheistic, including non-physical and timeless elements of God as well.

I could see where the global brain (and Gaia) are possibly beings within a Being, as we humans are micro-beings within the Macrocosmic. Maybe the planet is a cup of water in the ocean where each human is only a drop. (I know the ocean metaphor is one frequently used in spiritual discussions; I couldn't help but use it here.)

Since early last year I imagined that evolution is the process for which God becomes conscious of Himself. It is as if the entire physical creation was a game in which He purposefully induced self-amnesia. Over the billions of years this creation begins to become more and more aware of itself. Perhaps it does so by the enlightenment of each being, and this is why reincarnation would be necessary so that the soul evolves during each lifetime until reaching enlightenment, in which the soul is reunited with the Great Being.

If there are alien beings somewhere out there in this impossible-to-imagine vast Universe, I wonder how evolved they are physically and spiritually. Are we all evolving at the same rate?

I don't know anything about any of this, but it's fun to imagine. At any rate, the Life that has been given as part of this adventure can be used to grow spiritually, personally, not just physically. The first step is the acknowledgment of the soul. The second step is getting to know the soul. From here there are many more steps leading up to enlightenment, which I believe is the realization and the experience of connection with God. I think I'm still only at the first step. I am really eager to learn more, to feel more, to grow more and to be more.

An exciting thing happened to me just within the past couple weeks. I had finally discovered what my life's purpose is. It is difficult to explain it using words, which are very limiting, but my life's purpose is to grow. I have hope that I can grow enough to be able to help someone else someday, someone who sincerely wants to grow as I want to grow. It took a while to even realize I wanted to grow, but once I realized it, a lot of the weeds on the path disappeared which really helps me to see the path more clearly.

I Had a Thought Just Now....

After the Enlightened Ones die and are sucked back into the Great Being, thus becoming the Great Being, are all thoughts of everyone on the planet at one moment experienced by this one Great Being? All these thoughts are experienced by the One as if all these thoughts were Its own? Everything I see and you see and they see, are all these seen at once by the Great Being? Is it like being in the heads and minds of everyone at the same time?

I wonder if this is what Awareness is. I wonder if this is Cosmic Consciousness.

Free Rice Challenge

My vocabulary skills have been improving ever since I started to play Free Rice a couple months ago to help feed hungry people. My skill level tends to hover around 38 to 40 right now and sometimes goes as high as 50. There are other ways to use the Free Rice website in order to have free rice donated to third world countries, such as a geography quiz, various language quizzes, art, chemistry and math.

This is a legitimate charity that was featured on 60 Minutes. On the quiz, for each answer you get right, 20 grains of rice are donated. I challenge you to play the game today and donate 1000 grains of rice. After you're done, come back here and leave a comment. You will see that it is so easy to spend just a small amount of time in order to help people who really need your help. You do not need high-speed internet to play the game.

To play, join me and others by clicking the Free Rice icon in the top right-hand corner of my blog.

Synchronicity Journal October 8, 2008

I mostly haven't been journaling my experiences with synchronicity lately with the exception of yesterday's event. Today, so far, two of them have happened that I thought were fun.

Earlier today, my husband noticed that a wooden post on our fence had broken in two, probably from when the winds from Ike blew through a few weeks ago. He said, "For now I'll have to 'scab' it." I had never before heard of people scabbing things to repair them. A couple hours ago, my dad called. For no reason whatsoever, he told me that he'd like to get an English bulldog and name it "Scab". (My father has a weird sense of humor.) I had not told him about the broken fence post before this.

An hour ago my husband and I were moving a mattress out of the spare bedroom. He went to the kitchen to retrieve something and I was looking at the books on the bookshelf as I waited for him. I felt drawn towards a book called "The Ant World", by Derek Wragge Morley. A half hour later someone posted a message to a Yahoo group that I belong to. The person's name is "Ant". The post he wrote was about a book he had found.

A Most Impressive Synchronicity

I see synchronicity often, especially starting early last year. The synchronicity I experienced just a few minutes ago is one of the strongest I have ever experienced. All I can say is, "Wow!"

About ten minutes ago I read an email my next door neighbor sent me. It's one of those forwards you sometimes get. This one was about using your car alarm to get people's attention in case someone breaks into your house or you're in trouble in a parking lot, etc. Not five minutes had passed when a car alarm sounded at a neighbor's behind our house.

It's not often that car alarms go off where I live. My window was open and it was so loud, as if to say, "Now THIS should really get your attention!"

As if this experience was not awesome enough, a little while before I read the email I was wondering to myself if it is possible to CREATE synchronicity. So the experience of that synchronicity was a synchronicity!!

Synchronicity is so exciting, especially when it's this obvious.

The Power of Words

This gave me chills.

If you have high speed internet you can watch it. It's only about five minutes long. If you don't have high speed internet and would like to know what the video is about, email me and I'll give you the run-down.

I Was Thinking Today That... [Edited]

I am not interested in using magic to bring harm to others.
I am not interested in using magic to empower myself in any way except to gain powers necessary for the positive spiritual growth of myself or others.
I am not interested in the dark side.
I am not interested in making money off any wisdom or knowledge I gain through my spiritual studies.
I am not interested in becoming a fortune teller.
I am not interested in getting involved in any lengthy debate.
I am not interested in being superior to others.

What I am interested in is:

Truth
Enlightenment
Growth
Becoming a better person
Learning
Knowledge
Wisdom
Kindness towards others
Friendship
Helping others using means accessible to me
Humaneness (towards BOTH humans and animals)
Equality
Forgiveness

I am not interested in focusing on magic though I understand that some magic may be beneficial to growth. My own personal opinion is that it would be easy to get caught-up in the fascination and novelty that comes from magic. I know that there are many interesting roadside attractions on the path that I am taking and that any normal curious human being would be tempted to set-up camp there, but it is my goal as a spiritual seeker and traveler to not become sidetracked by these.

Having made these statements, I am interested in hearing what others have to say about their own interests. While I do not know yet if my stances regarding magic are right or wrong, I believe that the foundation of everything I believe in is said simply by The Golden Rule, which has been stated in many different ways throughout many different cultures, but is probably most easily recognized by, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

I am not perfect by any means. In fact, I have quite a bit of growing to do. Putting these statements to paper is useful to me because it will remind me to do the best in all situations, and when I am not able to do the best I seek to at least do better.

Edited 2:20pm, October 7, 2008 to add:

I should say that I do not frown upon fortune tellers or those who make their living doing these activities. It's just that I wish to spend my time differently by continuing to search for answers and realization. Maybe this is self-serving, I don't know. However, if I knew for certain that any of these activities could help heal others, I would give them a try.

One of the things I need to remember is that I should not allow myself to feel spiritual pride by thinking my choices are better than those that others have chosen for themselves. I also should not allow myself to feel spiritual pride because I have consciously chosen to be a spiritual seeker while many on this planet have not.

I also apologize for being so ostentatious on my blog. While I realize I may be giving in to feelings of self-importance by even having this blog, this is my diary and journal where I post all my thoughts, dreams and progress. Also, this blog allows me to converse with others who are on their own paths and who share the interest in seeking the divine. There are no clubs or groups in my area that I know of that focus on the things I speak about on this blog. I am still trying to find others in my area, though.

Most importantly, I am very thankful to others for being so kind to me. I am a very lucky person because people have done wonderful things for me. Also, even in spite of a few occasional obstacles, life has rewarded me in so many ways. Good things continue to happen to me. I feel very blessed. As someone said to me recently, "Life has shown you favor more than once."

The Bee and the Fleur de Lis

Last week I saw an icon of a bee used to symbolize a neophyte. In the diagram that included the bee, it showed the evolution of the symbol from bee to Fleur de Lis.

A day or two after seeing this diagram online, I went to a furniture store and saw a large canvas of the fleur de lis symbol as seen on the right of the image below. It seemed to be a statement, as the canvas was in the entryway of the store.

The Path

11

Read between the lines.

The Dance

Dream Date October 5, 2008

A sheet of paper that I was looking at described a man. Under the field "Affiliation", it said "Mason". There was also a sheet for me. The same field said, "Rosicrucian".

I grew excited as I noticed a rainbow in the sky. I was upset that I didn't have my camera to take a picture of it. I looked up the street, which was also a steep hill, and my husband was in the man's yard taking photographs of it. Later, the camera was in my possession and I was trying to take photos of it before it disappeared.

Weekend Getaway

My husband is making me go camping this weekend! He wants me to get away to spend some time outdoors. His complaint is that I spend too much time inside my head. Although I grumbled a bit at the thought of having to leave home, I do agree that it might be good for me to just relax for a few days. Depression and fatigue have been coming and going, mixed in with a bit of up-ness to keep my bipolarity on its toes. I haven't gone to volunteer at the animal rescue sanctuary for a few weeks and I do feel some guilt over this because I miss the animal friends that I've made. I am going to try hard to go next Thursday. I also want to go help my father and stepmother again with all the trees that fell down in their backyard when the remnants of Ike blew through; I'll do that when I return. I get back Sunday so Monday would be a good day for that.

The sweepstakes that I won couldn't have come at a better time. We needed to do some work to our house and for the past couple weeks the work has been getting done. It should be finished by next week, then I can clean up the house. It is so disorganized right now that I feel a little overwhelmed. Part of the sweepstakes prize was furniture. We went to pick out a bedroom suite and couch today. I loved my house before, but I love my house even more now. It's a small house but I plan on living here the rest of my life. That "home sweet home" feeling is a real feeling; it's a nice cozy feeling.

I get various magazines at my house made out to my art business, everything from Motor Trend, to Travel, to Caribbean, to Psychology Today, Home, Modern Home, Seed, Spin, U.S. News and World Report, Antiques and others. (I get them for free.) They keep coming and I can't keep up with them. It occurred to me recently that people at the local nursing home might like to read some of them, so now I have a way to recycle the magazines. I just wanted to mention this because I thought if any of you have magazines that you usually throw away when you're finished reading, maybe you can save them and deliver them to a nursing home near you.

I'm hoping to respond to the most recent comments left here when I return on Sunday, but if I don't, know that I have read them all. I always get a copy of them sent to my email address. Thank you for the conversation. You are my modern-day pen-pals. :)

Spiritual Thoughts Consuming Lower Thoughts

This is a very personal topic and I apologize for forcing it on you, but something has happened to me that I wonder about.

Most of you that know me online (and that's almost everyone in my life except for family), know I've been a spiritual "seeker" for almost four years. I think at the beginning it was a curiosity, then it began to become more and more serious, almost like a hunger or need. The past month it seems to have become so intense it has consumed almost every waking moment. I'm spending most of my day contemplating the spiritual realm. It dawned on me a few days ago that I haven't had a sexual fantasy in a month or more. While I was never a sex addict or anything, like most grown humans I experienced the occasional sexual fantasy. I wonder if this decline in fantasy is normal for most spiritual seekers. I am not at all worried about it; in fact, I think this is a good thing for me because it shows I'm automatically purifying myself as if readying myself for more growth towards a higher level, in which animal needs have no place.