In Treatment

I don't normally watch television, but twice now I've seen short segments of a show that is on HBO while my husband was flipping through the channels. The show is called "In Treatment", and features Gabriel Byrne as a therapist named "Paul". The fact that Gabriel Byrne is the star of the show is what first caught my attention. I've always been somewhat fascinated by him, by his good looks and his demeanor. He's mysterious! I believe my infatuation with him began when I first watched the movie "Stigmata", in which he plays a priest/scientist.

Then flames were added to the fire when he had a leading role in the movie "End of Days", in which he played... well... the devil. Gabriel Byrne has what it takes to make priests and devils equally attractive. In both roles, he is mysterious, dark, handsome, and just plain sexy.

Anyway, sorry for all that. I had to give a little background information before getting to the point. HBO is airing this series of episodes about a therapist and his patients. I've only watched two episodes so far and it seriously satisfies some weird voyeuristic needs. Amazon is currently offering the first 15 episodes for free. I recommend watching them through Amazon as opposed to other sites and products like iTunes, because Amazon brings excellent video quality to an almost full screen. I tried to watch it through iTunes and was disappointed by the quality. If you're interested in watching the show, just click HERE and download the episodes. If you watch them, let me know what you think.

No doubt in therapy the possibility of transference arises. I don't know to what degree I've experienced it with my own therapist, as usually transference is experienced subconsciously. I mean, most patients probably aren't aware that this is what is going on. I have been seeing my therapist (not the psychiatrist), for a year and four months now. I've noticed lately that I've felt this need to tell her that I'd like to be friends with her. I've imagined myself actually hanging out with her. I haven't told her, and I'm not sure how she'd react to this if I were to tell her. I know there are some rules in place in the field of psychology, some ethics, about dual-relationships, that says therapists are not to have personal relationships with their patients. I don't know if this means forever or just during the duration of time that the patient is seeing the therapist for psychotherapy. I'm probably lucky that I didn't choose a male therapist. If I did, and he looked and acted like Gabriel Byrne, I'd be in trouble. There would no doubt be some transference issues!

Here's a switch of topic.... There is another show that I'm going to try to watch online called "The Tudors", which is put out by Showtime. They've been airing these episodes for free online. I haven't started watching them yet, but HERE'S the link in case you're interested.

I'm slowly but surely finding things to do to keep me out of the bed. I hope this interest lasts. I've been up and active for two days in a row now. My main goal at this time is to try to find interest in old hobbies so that I can participate in them again. I also hope that sometime soon I find a renewed interest in music. I haven't listened to music for months.

This is a short list of some of the things I hope to start getting back into soon: playing the piano, entering sweepstakes, reading, creating fractal art, brain teasers, sudoku and logic puzzles, walking

That's a start. My psychiatrist is trying to influence me to participate in activities. She says that having plans will keep me out of the bed. I think she may be right. I only worry about this: I have this interest in returning to these hobbies while I'm feeling well, like today for instance. But when I'm really down, will I be able to find that interest again or will it disappear into the void as I become apathetic towards everything? I know I'll find out; since I'm up today there will come a time in the near future that I'll go back down. Ah... the predictability of Bipolar Disorder.