Bounce, bounce, bounce
A ball in a barrell
Wood stained with wine
A ball in a barrell
Wood stained with wine
It's not technically a haiku but it was on my mind so I put it to paper. (Well, electronic paper.) I don't have to follow all the rules, do I? I suppose that even cosmic laws are flexible.
Verse like this comes spontaneously sometimes for me, so perhaps it is like a vision of sorts. Maybe I should try to interpret it?
I am bouncing up and down, depression and contentedness, depression and contentedness, within a bounded reality. These binds are placed here, obviously by myself, and I'm quite stained by the pattern. So, drink a glass of wine or beer and say "cheers" to change. Not only for me but for you, too. Yes you, you know who you are.
11 comments:
Depression causes chemical imbalance.
Indirectly, for sure. These medicines that we rely on, there is no knowing just what they do.
It is Friday night. Time, in my part of the country, to watch House. Princeton reminds me of the community where I grew up. I should try to visit both this year.
Chemical imbalance causes depression.
Dad always said, "act entheusiastic and you'll become entheusiastic." The trick, when you see depression coming, is to fool it into going away; refuse it license. That's the least discussed part of the behaviorist's technique. I much prefer solving the underlying cause. I think (but then I'm not a professional) there's always some not-yet/always-understood underlying cause. I found mine, thank all the gods and demons I found mine! The emergence of this diseease that will shorten my life has made it worth living all 365 days of the year.
Did you know that they removed passive-aggressive from the DSM at the last revision? Pray that depression meets a similar fate soon.
Happily-anonymous
Then I'm guessing - after having done a simple bit of research with t.v. guide - that you live in the eastern time zone, since House starts at 11:00pm on a Friday night on channel USA. I don't watch t.v. but I am pretty good at doing Internet searches. :)
Princeton? The university or the city? There are several Princetons, so I can't do much in the way of puzzle-solving with that information.
(I like puzzles and mystery.)
To just will depression away by fooling it sounds like a very difficult task, as you know motivation almost completely disappears when in that state. So, the motivation to do the work necessary to fool depression is almost nonextant. But then maybe I'm just too prone to giving up without putting up much of a fight. I guess that would make me weak-minded. I know it's not a very flattering thing to say about myself but I am (normally) honest.
I think you are the first person I've ever met who was optimistic about having a disease emerge, especially when it will cause one to live a shorter life. I'm happy for you that you can feel that way, although I'm sorry that in order for you to find happiness you had to suffer physically.
Passive-aggressive behavior... I know someone who might say that I suffer from that, too. But I won't be too open about that!
I don't know much about DSM, but I'm assuming it is like a dictionary of mental disorders, or maybe even an encyclopedia. Since they removed passive-aggressive from the DSM, does that mean it no longer exists? :)
The poem is excellent, you should write those that come to you like that, doesn't make any difference if you know what the meaning is, the meaning maybe many things, and even for times now and/or times future, just write them, makes them yours.
Here's to you Sophia, and all of us!
It's so gratifying to see the e-friends in your comments, aiding you on your Trip...
~ Alex
Also, that poem is so well-crafted (sure, sure, it probably just flew into your mind in full bloom...) it can claim its own "rules"...
~ Alex
The show House is set in Princeton, New Jersey, at a hospital that doesn't exist. The aerial view is of a university dormatory embracing old and new designs in a single building.
I am in the central time zone.
The reason for DSM is so that a set of codes for billing to insurance is available. It discusses and describes symptoms as well as how many in the set must exist for the condition to receive a particular label. Passive-aggressive has come to be thought about as a behavioral pattern rather than a treatable condition. Insurance companies simply won't pay for treatment for that any longer though you're right, it does continue to exist.
Each of us has to find our own path through this wonder called life. You'll find your own. The really tough part is that "the experts" aren't so very expert most of the time. So I've thrown some of my experiences at you and the more you've written about your health the more it sounds like we're on medically similar paths.
The one thing I've missed as a result of my "cure" is the disappearance of some aspects of the creativity that you're exhibiting so beautifully. One might even call this "cured" life a little "flat" but I wouldn't want what went along with the creativity back again.
I don't know if the photo you display is of yourself or not, and it doesn't actually matter. It might be interesting for you to know that half my heritage is Scotch-Irish and I'd bet a cup of coffee you share the strongest part of that heritage with me.
I had a grandmother who suffered with her nastiness most of her life till she got cancer in her old age. Once she was in pain control using narcotics her psychological life came under control and she spent the last couple of years of her life actually getting along with her children (by then in their 40's.)
Happily-anonymous
Jim,
I really like it when I don't have to strain my mind to get poems to come out.
Speaking of poems, an old blogger friend sent me my old blog from 2004/2005 that I deleted in 2006. I deleted it because I was ashamed of a lot of the writing. I'm glad to have it back now, though. A few months after I deleted it, I was kicking myself, because I had put a lot of time and pain into writing some of those poems. It's good to know it's not all wasted. If you like, sometime I'll send you a select few of them in email.
Alex,
These e-friends in my comments are a big part of my life. I look forward to coming here often to see what's been said. I have the same excitement now that I had as a child when I'd run to the mailbox to see if my penpal had written something. :)
Thanks for the compliment on the poem. It came to mind almost in full bloom. The words and thoughts were there, I just had to tidy them up a bit.
Anonymous,
Is the similarity to your childhood stomping grounds the reason for your wanting to visit Princeton? Or does something else draw you there?
You're in the central time zone. Well, I was a bit off mark that time, wasn't I?! So much for trying to solve mysteries. :)
About the creativity, I know exactly what you mean. I feel most creative when I'm depressed. At least, that's the best time to write poetry. When I'm feeling fine, it's a struggle to write something. Maybe this is why a lot of poets and artists have emotional or mental problems. I mean, it's not the cause, it's the effect.
The photo I display on the blog is absolutely 100% me. The cat in the photo is one of four. Back in the archives somewhere on this blog are more photos. They're not brand new, but they're not ancient either.
One of the things I've noticed about you is how perceptive you are. It almost seems as though you have a sixth sense. :) Yes, I have a lot of Scotch and Irish in me. I get it from my mother's side of the family. I don't know much about my father's side, only that there is some German there. Looks like I owe you a cup of coffee!
Interesting about your grandmother, it's so similar to the story of my own. Although, not even pain killers helped her when she had cancer.
You and I have a lot in common!
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