Soul Mates

After years of projecting her animus onto him, she realized that he was her animus, and that they were a divine couple. The bittersweet truth about this, though, was that they'd have to wait until a future life for everything to come together the way it should be.

But it was just her imagination.

Endurance

She had resolved to let him defeat her only because she didn't know how to find her own strength. And so, for a time, she was "put in her place". After a while, however, she discovered other sources of vitality and learned that what she had was substantial enough that she could go on on her own. In other words, she was not alone.

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What does this emptiness mean?

Enchantment

How exhilarating! He speaks in verse. She doesn't believe he does so intentionally, it's just some magical disorder that could possibly fulfill her cerebral needs. At their first meeting, she had hoped he'd want to get to know her as badly as she wanted to get to know him. It had been a long time since she felt that way, and she eagerly welcomed the feeling this time around.

She's Just a Passer-by

Driving by, sometimes she'd see one of her older neighbors walking out to his mailbox to retrieve his mail. He was always only wearing boxer shorts. In the winter, of course, he'd be in his robe. She wondered how someone could be so carefree.

Then there was the elderly man who lived alone. She only saw him when he was cutting his grass, wearing some gloves and a white hat that he wore to keep the sun off his head. He appeared to be in his 80s. His yard and all his belongings were spotless, perfectly organized and free of clutter. Every now and then she felt the urge to walk up to him in order to start a conversation, but what stopped her was the feeling that this man might be enjoying his solitary lifestyle. She had imagined he was lonely and wanting a neighborly friend, but she concluded that it was her own loneliness that gave her the urge to befriend him.

Synchronicity Journal June 28, 2008

Two words have given rise to significant synchronicities today.

Syzygy and epicene.

With syzygy, I was reading on the internet about the "syzygy" between anima and animus. Later today, a rather brilliant man sent me an email speaking about the "syzygy" between spiritual and physical union.

With epicene, a poster to a newsgroup I hang out in used the word in his post. Tonight, I was reading a friend's blog and he used the word in one of his apothegms. (Karl is a brilliant man, too!) http://traskvale.blogspot.com/2006/10/trade-off-between-anonymity-and-glory.html

You don't see these words every day.

Impenetrable

For the moment, he was shocked; she wanted to be quiet and listen to Ave Maria while it rained outside. He tried to read her thoughts but even her mind was silent. This was a new tragic phase. Usually he could get through to her, penetrate her, but not tonight.

But, Mr. Thursdale?

"...[I]n seeking to avoid the pitfalls of sentiment he had developed a science of evasion in which the woman of the moment became a mere implement of the game. He owed a good deal of delicate enjoyment to the cultivation of this art… He had taught a good many women not to betray their feelings, but he had never before had such fine material to work with. She had been surprisingly crude when he first knew her; capable of making the most awkward inferences…of recklessly undressing her emotions; but she had acquired, under the discipline of his reticences and evasions, a skill almost equal to his own, and perhaps more remarkable in that it involved keeping time with any tune he played and reading at sight some uncommonly difficult passages."

~The Dilettante, 1903, Edith Wharton

The Inheritance

A young woman loved and admired a man for his many charms. He was the quiet type, mysterious, cryptic at times, extremely wise and intelligent (in fact he was a genius), and to her he was many things, including teacher, father, brother, lover and friend. He spent a very long time getting to know the woman, taking interest in her and her life; she would say he knew her more than most. He knew about her dreams and sometimes he knew what they meant. He was not rich, and only lived with the bare necessities. She did not care that he didn't have any money; she loved him anyway.

Later in the friendship, he was usually quiet, and the young woman mistook it for a disinterest in her, and it pained her that he failed to notice her at times, especially when she did everything to get his attention again. Sometimes she would resort to behaving like a child and would throw temper tantrums when she didn't have her way.

She adored this man for many, many years, until the day of his death. He had a will, but because he didn't have much, there was nothing to leave to anyone. But he did leave behind something, and it was the most valueable inheritance of all. The will specified that upon his death, a sealed envelope was to be given to the young woman.

She was mourning his death when she received a letter in the mail. It did not have a return address so before opening it she did not know who it was from. The letter inside read, "I couldn't show you how much I cared for you, but you should know, I loved you."

The woman laid the letter aside while her eyes spilled tears of joy. For, while he didn't show his love during his life, he left her a most meaningful gift. Now in her memories she would know, that the silent man loved her after all, and she could live the rest of her life knowing the happy truth.

Dream Date June 25, 2008

I was with my mother and younger sister at the mall. We were going to a video game store so that my sister could buy either a game or some hardware to go with her game system. We walked through the door of the store and immediately a man walked up to us to help us. He began to lead us to the location in the store where the object was that my sister wanted. His hand brushed across my breast. At first, I thought it was an accident, but as we continued walking he intentionally placed his hand between my legs. I felt uncomfortable.

Later, he volunteered to guide us to another store that my mother or sister were looking for. My mother and sister got really far ahead of us and the man grabbed me in a quiet place and pushed me down to the floor. He forced his hand down my shirt and began to fondle my breast.

I felt violated in this dream.