Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Breathless
Floating like a dead man
On top of the water
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pink goggles
O-O
Sun sparkles
************
Eyes closed
x-x
No sound
shhhhhhh
On top of the water
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pink goggles
O-O
Sun sparkles
************
Eyes closed
x-x
No sound
shhhhhhh
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Growing Older is Not Growing Up
I'm sure I've mentioned before that growing up I was an outcast in elementary and high school. I was not an ugly child at all. I was both pretty and smart. But most everyone bullied me. Mostly it was teasing and name calling, having paper wads thrown at me, chewing gum thrown in my hair, and occasionally I'd get my ass beat up. School life was miserable for me and I could never go home and tell my parents about it because I was embarrassed about it. Every day, from the moment I got on the school bus until the end of the day it was like this. They made fun of my clothes, my car, everything.
As an adult I finally realized that I was treated this way because kids realized they could really get to me. I was very sensitive. (I still am, unfortunately.) Also, being a "gifted" student didn't help. It seems like my problems started when I got put into a gifted and talented program at my school after having taken an I.Q. test.
Anyway, all that is beside the point. The point I want to make is that many of the people I went to school with have not changed. (A few have - in fact, two people have apologized to me for the way they treated me growing up.) To prove my point, below is a quote that comes from one of my high-school classmate's Facebook wall today. This woman is my age - 31, and this is what she had to say about a little girl at a playground today:
"Saw the craziest unibrow on a girl at the playground. Their parents won't have to worry about teen pregnancy, so that's kinda nice."
This is exactly what I had to deal with from about third grade until my senior year in high school. They were almost all like this. (And some of them still are, judging by what they say on Facebook about other people.) My senior year in college I was voted onto the homecoming court, because many people at school liked me and I had lots of friends. I always wondered why there was such a dramatic turnaround from high school to college, from being a victim of constant cruelty to being popular. I still wonder.
As an adult I finally realized that I was treated this way because kids realized they could really get to me. I was very sensitive. (I still am, unfortunately.) Also, being a "gifted" student didn't help. It seems like my problems started when I got put into a gifted and talented program at my school after having taken an I.Q. test.
Anyway, all that is beside the point. The point I want to make is that many of the people I went to school with have not changed. (A few have - in fact, two people have apologized to me for the way they treated me growing up.) To prove my point, below is a quote that comes from one of my high-school classmate's Facebook wall today. This woman is my age - 31, and this is what she had to say about a little girl at a playground today:
"Saw the craziest unibrow on a girl at the playground. Their parents won't have to worry about teen pregnancy, so that's kinda nice."
This is exactly what I had to deal with from about third grade until my senior year in high school. They were almost all like this. (And some of them still are, judging by what they say on Facebook about other people.) My senior year in college I was voted onto the homecoming court, because many people at school liked me and I had lots of friends. I always wondered why there was such a dramatic turnaround from high school to college, from being a victim of constant cruelty to being popular. I still wonder.
I Know My Place
Thrall to limerence
Punished for not being God
Living a strange life
Grieving lost dreams
Looking the world over
For the one to whom
All the praises will be bestowed
Simply because his shape
Fits the shape of the void
A crowd has been searched
Hundreds of missives
No, endless missives
None yet are perfect
Hard work for a perfectionist
As a wanderer
As a seeker
The search will continue
If it takes 30 years
Or longer
Something worth finding is
Something worth waiting for
When the missing piece
To the puzzle arrives
Alleluias will be sung
And then I will be
In my place
And I will
Know my place
That is home
Punished for not being God
Living a strange life
Grieving lost dreams
Looking the world over
For the one to whom
All the praises will be bestowed
Simply because his shape
Fits the shape of the void
A crowd has been searched
Hundreds of missives
No, endless missives
None yet are perfect
Hard work for a perfectionist
As a wanderer
As a seeker
The search will continue
If it takes 30 years
Or longer
Something worth finding is
Something worth waiting for
When the missing piece
To the puzzle arrives
Alleluias will be sung
And then I will be
In my place
And I will
Know my place
That is home
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wiley Windy Moors
It is very dark here.
My search for a rescuer comes out void.
No one fits the mold.
I keep going on for others, but not for me.
I need to do something for me.
My search for a rescuer comes out void.
No one fits the mold.
I keep going on for others, but not for me.
I need to do something for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)