Talking to my Self

Last night I had a disturbing dream. While I don't remember most of it, I can specifically recall a scene that involved me flying as a passenger in a large airplane. I was looking out the window. There were other planes flying around and behind us, but they were being shot at by missiles of some kind and were blowing up in the air and falling apart to crash down below.

I became lucid in this dream to the extent that I was able to say to myself, "What will happen to me if I dream that the airplane I'm riding in is destroyed?" I continued to watch out the window hoping and wishing that the airplane would be safe. As far as I know, our plane was never shot down.

I don't know the meaning of this dream, but I do know that a night or two before I dreamed of being in another plane, taking off from the ground.

What I am going to do now for the first time on this blog is a process called "Active Imagination". It's an ages old method of divining information, although it has more recently been refined by Carl Jung. I am going to ask questions related to this dream and then will "listen" within for the answers from my "Higher Self".

Q. Why am I dreaming of air planes?
A. "You are taking off."

Q. What am I taking off from?
A. "The physical plane."

Q. Why were airplanes getting shot down around me?
A. "Those planes are behaviors that you can't take with you."

Those are all the questions I will ask for now. I thanked the entity that responded.

On another note, earlier tonight I did a visualization that entailed going into the temple of Malkuth. I was directed to see two pillars. I was at the entrance to the temple and noticed how the pillars reminded me of the entrance to wisdom. What struck me as interesting right away is that the floor I was walking on was a black and white checkered floor. I knew that this symbolized the marriage of spirit to matter.

Before going into the visualization the book asked me some questions, such as how discernment and inertia function in my life. I know that I have the choice to feel the way I do, to react the way I do. As far as inertia is concerned, I'm a lazy person and I also procrastinate a lot, although I am more regularly reading my spiritual material as well as doing the exercises and meditations. I am also not as lazy about keeping notebooks.

For anyone interested in reading more information about Active Imagination, here are some links to articles which might be helpful:

http://www.innerself.com/Behavior_Modification/active.htm
http://ozpk.tripod.com/jung

The Elements of Being

I am exploring the balance (or lack thereof) of four modes of being and elements within me. The four elements are:

- Earth = Sensation
- Air = Intellect
- Fire = Intuition
- Water = Emotion

The book asked that I draw both an elemental mandala and cross of elements representing these four modes. The strongest and weakest modes are to be on opposite sides of each other.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am often ruled by emotion, so that is strongest. (I am, after all, a "Highly Sensitive Person", or HSP.) In second place is intellect, because I am often in my head thinking about things, reading things, solving things, analyzing things, etc. Then comes sensation, and finally intuition. Even though I am an INFP and supposedly rely on my intuition to guide me, I score only 38% on intuition.

Here are the drawings I made. In the mandala, I have shaded the quarters so that the strongest is darkest and the weakest is lightest. In the cross, the longer arm is strongest and the shorter arm is weakest.

Eating Fruits of an Inner Tree

I keep four different notebooks so I don't write on this blog as much. I want to keep posting to this blog but I have a bad case of writer's block and can't think of anything to say. I am spending more of my time focusing within. Due to being sworn to secrecy I cannot expose the contents of three of the four notebooks, however, I will share my notes and collected thoughts that come from a book I am reading at the moment. It's a book I started a while ago but never continued due to being distracted by other things. Now that I am finished with some of the Rosicrucian classes I have time to read this book until the next class starts. The book is named "The Kabbalah Experience", by Naomi Ozaniec.

What I am going to share with you now are the results from a visualization I did called "The Inner Tree". Everything following this paragraph is what is written - verbatim - in my journal. If you are on a similar journey, I hope that this inspires you to keep a notebook of your own.

It's amazing how lost I can get in a visualization. I forget about my outer self.

I was standing outside a walled garden. I opened the entrance gate by turning the handle. When I entered I saw flowers neatly planted all around. To the left was a pond and to the right was a small Eternal Flame burning. So, all four elements were there.

I walked toward the center where a very large tree stood. The path circles around the tree, so I walked around the tree while running my right hand along the low hanging branches. A perfume was released into the air. It had a sweet scent tinged with spice. There were orange fruits that were round like oranges.

I ate the fruit and in the center was a hard seed, like the seed one would find in a peach. It seemed that this seed was the Philosopher's Stone, so I kept it.

The wall around the garden has four doors, like the four directions on a compass. I left through the north door. Maybe I was headed for Kether.

I think the walled garden represents my inner self. Of course the tree is the Tree of Life.

On the same page I drew the Tree of Life diagram with the paths and 10 Sephiroth. (I didn't draw Daath because it's hidden!) I outlined the three triangles, the three pillars, the lightning flash and the four worlds.

Hopefully I will be able to come-up with things to share on this blog so that it doesn't sit stagnant. A lot of visitors stop by every day according to my stat counter. I want there to be something to read.

Dream Journal February 13, 2010

I have just acquired a haunted house from someone, perhaps it is an inheritance. I am standing in front of the front door on the bottom step of some stairs. I begin to sing. I am alone in the house, or so I think, until I hear a man laughing in another room. I walk to another room and see a man with a mustache sitting in a chair. I've never met him before so I don't know who he is. He doesn't belong here - he is an intruder. I tell him to get out of the house.

Later I am looking into an aquarium. It is half full of murky dirty water. Apparently it has been a while since the aquarium has been cleaned. A turtle is on the bottom trying to roll over onto its back because it wants to die. The turtle climbs out of the aquarium through the lid and rolls over onto its back on top of the lid.

I run into the kitchen and frantically search through the cabinets. I am trying to find a container to put fresh water in so that I can rescue the turtle.