Last night, as I lay in the bed preparing myself to fall asleep, I landed in a bit of hypnagogic imagery. Having recently been focusing on clearing my thoughts, in my prone position I emptied my head and rested, fully conscious. In this emptiness the images appeared, like little visions that I once had before. The pictures just flashed in my mind's eye, and then quickly disappeared. Here, is a small poem inspired by the view.
A smile and a wave
Two hands intertwined
You press your fingers to my lips
To keep my words from escaping
Planting a letter into my palm
A love note that must go unspoken
I'm never going to let you go unloved
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Early Sunday Morning Chatter and Notes
I finished listening to the talk, tonight, and the ending was just plain beautiful. My curiosity was settled because I found out what is behind me. Well, I learned what is behind me, because as of now I don't have easy access to this. There's some work to be done. I didn't take such good notes this time because I was really focusing more on what the teacher was saying. But, here is a list of some of the things I did write down:
-Thoughts do not come from God.
-The mind speaks the heart's position. What's really talking through your mind is your heart. That is where thoughts come from. Past experiences, normally negative ones, are stored in the heart.
-Don't think. Be.
-Behind us there is energy, or shakti, chi. It is a source of great beauty, and love.
-When you are in the seat of consciousness, you are not the human. You are watching the human.
-The world cannot affect you.
-The body suffers, not the soul.
-At first, behind us we see just space, but eventually we see infinite space.
-Eventually, we can sit behind our sub-consciousness.
-To grow spiritually, there must not be anything that we are not willing to let out.
-While we are keeping things blocked, we won't be able to get behind it.
-DO NOT BE AFRAID OF FEAR!
-"Do not try to have no fear. Just be comfortable with it."
-"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET GO."
-To know what you are, you must look behind you.
As I said in one of my previous posts, there are three things that suck-up our consciousness. They are: thoughts, feelings and senses. I'd like to know, to what degree can we get rid of our thoughts, feelings and senses? What I mean is, how much of our thoughts, feelings and senses must we get rid of in order to see behind us? I can meditate, and get rid of many or some thoughts, and I can get rid of most feelings, but I won't be able to get rid of many of my senses. I can close my eyes, but I might still hear sound, or feel the air on my skin. Since hearing and vision are the two senses that account for most of our input, wearing a mask and ear plugs could possibly get rid of most of the input. But is this going to be good enough? I hope I'm not being too nitpicky. I'd eventually like to be in a state where I don't even have to meditate to stop my thoughts and feelings from overwhelming me.
It seems my mind has to constantly be occupied. When I'm not thinking thoughts, for instance, I have songs continuously repeating in my head, even when I haven't listened to music for months. It's like my mind has to keep being acknowledged; it fears that I'll let go of it. This is an example of what goes through my mind sometimes: "He said this, but I wonder what he meant, is he mad at me, I have to pay a bill, I can't forget my appointment Tuesday, oh I dread going into work on Monday, we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, we all live in a yellow submarine (repeat this line from the song 10 times or more)...etc." In other words, constant chatter. But I have noticed, yes I've noticed, that lately I've been able to stop and say, "Quiet your mind, Sophia." And then, my mind goes quiet for just about 20 seconds, and I look around me without thinking, taking in my surroundings, the sounds, being aware. But I don't seem to stay in this state more than a few moments. I am doing it more often, though. Maybe I'll eventually get better.
Heh... I know why Jed McKenna doesn't use his real name. It's to stop people like me from tracking him down to ask him a million questions. This talk wasn't by Jed McKenna, I was just using that as an example.
If the person that sent me this is still reading my blog, would you mind if I shared this file with a few others so I could get their opinion on my questions, or maybe you have some ideas for me. Do you know who gave this talk, and if so, do you have any more audios by this person? If so, I'd like to listen! Thanks.
-Thoughts do not come from God.
-The mind speaks the heart's position. What's really talking through your mind is your heart. That is where thoughts come from. Past experiences, normally negative ones, are stored in the heart.
-Don't think. Be.
-Behind us there is energy, or shakti, chi. It is a source of great beauty, and love.
-When you are in the seat of consciousness, you are not the human. You are watching the human.
-The world cannot affect you.
-The body suffers, not the soul.
-At first, behind us we see just space, but eventually we see infinite space.
-Eventually, we can sit behind our sub-consciousness.
-To grow spiritually, there must not be anything that we are not willing to let out.
-While we are keeping things blocked, we won't be able to get behind it.
-DO NOT BE AFRAID OF FEAR!
-"Do not try to have no fear. Just be comfortable with it."
-"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET GO."
-To know what you are, you must look behind you.
As I said in one of my previous posts, there are three things that suck-up our consciousness. They are: thoughts, feelings and senses. I'd like to know, to what degree can we get rid of our thoughts, feelings and senses? What I mean is, how much of our thoughts, feelings and senses must we get rid of in order to see behind us? I can meditate, and get rid of many or some thoughts, and I can get rid of most feelings, but I won't be able to get rid of many of my senses. I can close my eyes, but I might still hear sound, or feel the air on my skin. Since hearing and vision are the two senses that account for most of our input, wearing a mask and ear plugs could possibly get rid of most of the input. But is this going to be good enough? I hope I'm not being too nitpicky. I'd eventually like to be in a state where I don't even have to meditate to stop my thoughts and feelings from overwhelming me.
It seems my mind has to constantly be occupied. When I'm not thinking thoughts, for instance, I have songs continuously repeating in my head, even when I haven't listened to music for months. It's like my mind has to keep being acknowledged; it fears that I'll let go of it. This is an example of what goes through my mind sometimes: "He said this, but I wonder what he meant, is he mad at me, I have to pay a bill, I can't forget my appointment Tuesday, oh I dread going into work on Monday, we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, we all live in a yellow submarine (repeat this line from the song 10 times or more)...etc." In other words, constant chatter. But I have noticed, yes I've noticed, that lately I've been able to stop and say, "Quiet your mind, Sophia." And then, my mind goes quiet for just about 20 seconds, and I look around me without thinking, taking in my surroundings, the sounds, being aware. But I don't seem to stay in this state more than a few moments. I am doing it more often, though. Maybe I'll eventually get better.
Heh... I know why Jed McKenna doesn't use his real name. It's to stop people like me from tracking him down to ask him a million questions. This talk wasn't by Jed McKenna, I was just using that as an example.
If the person that sent me this is still reading my blog, would you mind if I shared this file with a few others so I could get their opinion on my questions, or maybe you have some ideas for me. Do you know who gave this talk, and if so, do you have any more audios by this person? If so, I'd like to listen! Thanks.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thoughts, Emotions and the Seat of Consciousness
Here's a little bit more for you from the talk I'm listening to. I'll post every once and a while as I listen so you can kind of have a summary of what the teacher is talking about. Anyway, posting helps me, too, because I can take time out and have a deeper understanding of what it is I'm learning.
I never would have thought this when I was a teenager, or even in my early twenties, but I was not watching my thoughts. I was absorbed in my thoughts, even entangled in them. When I started meditating back in 2005 - I don't meditate very often - I tried to stop my thoughts. I don't know if you can say I was watching them, though. But when they would come up, I'd simply let them pass by without paying much attention to them. I'd so strongly ignore them that often the thought wouldn't even finish itself, kind of like stopping midsentence, and then I'd go back into silence, and the cycle would repeat itself. I don't know if this can be considered watching my thoughts or not. The speaker says that people don't know they are watching their thoughts. They also do not know that they are NOT their thoughts, and they are NOT their emotions.
The first step out of this absortion with thoughts and emotions, according to the teacher, is to pull yourself back to the center, which he says is not a place. By "centering", he means that we pull ourselves away from whatever it is we're absorbed in, like a t.v. for instance, and bring our awareness back to where we are. Then, you can see what it was you were absorbed in, as opposed to being absorbed in it, and you are no longer lost in what you were absorbed in, and are more generally aware. When you center yourself, you can see your thoughts as thoughts, as opposed to being engrossed in them. Well, at least most of the thoughts.
An interesting and rather profound point that he makes, is that a thought is simply a thought. It doesn't matter how strong the thought is, it is simply a thought. The same goes for emotions. He used the analogy of weather to get the point across. When it is storming, it is still just weather. When it is snowing, or the sun is shining, it is just weather. And so, no matter what thought you're thinking, or emotion you're feeling, it's just a thought and an emotion. There will come a time, after we learn to center ourselves, that all the changes in our thoughts and emotions will have no effect on the seat of consciousness.
Break time - more later.
I never would have thought this when I was a teenager, or even in my early twenties, but I was not watching my thoughts. I was absorbed in my thoughts, even entangled in them. When I started meditating back in 2005 - I don't meditate very often - I tried to stop my thoughts. I don't know if you can say I was watching them, though. But when they would come up, I'd simply let them pass by without paying much attention to them. I'd so strongly ignore them that often the thought wouldn't even finish itself, kind of like stopping midsentence, and then I'd go back into silence, and the cycle would repeat itself. I don't know if this can be considered watching my thoughts or not. The speaker says that people don't know they are watching their thoughts. They also do not know that they are NOT their thoughts, and they are NOT their emotions.
The first step out of this absortion with thoughts and emotions, according to the teacher, is to pull yourself back to the center, which he says is not a place. By "centering", he means that we pull ourselves away from whatever it is we're absorbed in, like a t.v. for instance, and bring our awareness back to where we are. Then, you can see what it was you were absorbed in, as opposed to being absorbed in it, and you are no longer lost in what you were absorbed in, and are more generally aware. When you center yourself, you can see your thoughts as thoughts, as opposed to being engrossed in them. Well, at least most of the thoughts.
An interesting and rather profound point that he makes, is that a thought is simply a thought. It doesn't matter how strong the thought is, it is simply a thought. The same goes for emotions. He used the analogy of weather to get the point across. When it is storming, it is still just weather. When it is snowing, or the sun is shining, it is just weather. And so, no matter what thought you're thinking, or emotion you're feeling, it's just a thought and an emotion. There will come a time, after we learn to center ourselves, that all the changes in our thoughts and emotions will have no effect on the seat of consciousness.
Break time - more later.
What is Behind Me?
Even though I'm in the middle of a book, I am taking time out to listen to a talk by an unnamed spiritual teacher. I don't know their name, so I can't tell you who it is. All I can talk about is the message.
I've just started listening to it today and took a few notes, so I thought I would share those notes with you. I have more to listen to.
There are things in front of us and behind us. In front, are the things we see, such as the mind, heart and sensory input (or thoughts, feelings and senses). By the way, the eyes and ears account for most of the sensory input. A good friend of mine - if I remember correctly - once told me that 90% of our sensory input is from vision alone.
These three things - thoughts, feelings and senses - absorb most or even all of our consciousness or awareness. We can't see behind us when we are absorbed by all of these things that are in front of us. The teacher says that the depth of the soul is measured by the portion that is not consumed by thoughts, feelings and senses, or maya. By the way, according to the speaker, maya is not the outside world. (In Hinduism, maya means illusion.)
I will share more later. I'm still at the beginning. I'm sure I'll find out what is behind me.
I've just started listening to it today and took a few notes, so I thought I would share those notes with you. I have more to listen to.
There are things in front of us and behind us. In front, are the things we see, such as the mind, heart and sensory input (or thoughts, feelings and senses). By the way, the eyes and ears account for most of the sensory input. A good friend of mine - if I remember correctly - once told me that 90% of our sensory input is from vision alone.
These three things - thoughts, feelings and senses - absorb most or even all of our consciousness or awareness. We can't see behind us when we are absorbed by all of these things that are in front of us. The teacher says that the depth of the soul is measured by the portion that is not consumed by thoughts, feelings and senses, or maya. By the way, according to the speaker, maya is not the outside world. (In Hinduism, maya means illusion.)
I will share more later. I'm still at the beginning. I'm sure I'll find out what is behind me.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Spiritual Autolysis Journal 9/26/07
I've still got more of _Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment_ to complete, so writing this journal entry might be premature, but I wanted to say a few things while I'm thinking about the spiritual autolysis process.
The difficulty I was having is that I simply did not know how to begin. I know, where better to begin than the very beginning?
I wonder, though, how can one become enlightened just by writing things down in a journal? Maybe he just meant that it is only a step towards enlightenment. If so, will he give us the rest of the steps?
I was reading about Richard Rose's realization experience yesterday, as it was recommended to me by J. Some have theorized that Richard Rose is Jed McKenna. I do not think this is possible. Jed's books started to be published in 2003 and 2004. Rose, at that point, already had alzheimer's disease, and had already been in the nursing home since 1997. Also, Jed states in his first book, briefly, that he is 40 years old. In 2003 and 2004, Rose was already 86 or 87. And I don't think Rose would be jumping out of airplanes at that advanced age! In any case, Rose died in 2005, and I have a strange feeling that Jed is out there this very moment, pretending to be Jed.
All this that I have just typed above is my ego struggling. I was meaning to start my spiritual autolysis journal. As you have no doubt noticed, I got distracted by another subject and became side-tracked.
So, what do I know to be true? I can only start by speaking about the things that I once thought true. I am unsure about the truth of many of these things, now. I thought I was a human, disconnected from the rest of the world and alone. Now I believe that my human-ness is really just a hologram, or a shell for my ego. It's like everything that was once held within my skin has disappeared, and now the empty loose skin is laying piled on the floor. Only, there really isn't even any skin. There is nothing. Also, I do not any longer believe that I am disconnected from the rest of the world, nor that I am alone. I've thought about Oneness since I took my religions of the east course in college back in the fall of 2001. It started with Buddhism and Hinduism. From that point, I was hooked. My professor planted the seed, and that seed began to grow like a vine. I went from simply taking a course to fulfill my elective requirements to being consumed by the need to become enlightened or to know truth. When I learned about the Buddhists' beliefs and the Hindus' beliefs, I felt in my heart that everything was really One. I remember sitting in the classroom, and looking at the other students I thought to myself, "Wow, this is awesome. All these people are really parts of myself."
Since that course, I've delved into many philosophical and spiritual topics, going from one phase to the next, trying to find what felt right to me. I went into the New Age, and also started trying to practice mysticism or to have mystical experiences, like astral projection and out-of-body experiences. In other words, I got off-track as usual. Don't get me wrong, I'd really like to experience these and many other mystical things, but I want to bring my focus to enlightenment, first. Once enlightened, I want to play around. Truth be told, I hope that the playing becomes easier once one is enlightened, because it certainly is not easy for me to project astrally.
Argh... there I go again, rambling, trying to avoid the task at hand. Perhaps a good place for me to start would be to state the things that I know are not true? Just to get them out of the way, sweep them under the rug for now, maybe examine further in the future. Well, for one, I am not an insect. Now THAT I know to be true. What else? I am not the clothes that I wear. I am not my mother or father. I am not my job.
And right now, this moment, what seems to be true? I am sitting in a chair; I can feel it beneath my bum, I can feel my feet upon the legs. I am typing this on a computer; I can feel the keyboard beneath my fingertips, and can see the screen in front of me, the cursor moving from left to right as the words appear. I just cleared my throat, and blinked my eyes. I'm breathing air.
What do you think? Is this a good place to start? Is it time to start examining these things? I feel like I already know, intellectually, where all this is going. It's, somehow, going to end up at only "I am." As I said before, the only thing I know 100% for sure, is that I am aware and conscious. I can't prove that this keyboard is real, because I am not aware as the keyboard. I can't prove my sister is real, because I can't be aware as her. She can swear up and down that she exists, but that is not proof. There is nothing besides myself that I can be aware as. In other words, I can not see out their eyes, or think their thoughts, or feel the seat beneath them.
OK, time out for now. I think this is plenty for the first try. I'll wait and see what you all think about this.
The difficulty I was having is that I simply did not know how to begin. I know, where better to begin than the very beginning?
I wonder, though, how can one become enlightened just by writing things down in a journal? Maybe he just meant that it is only a step towards enlightenment. If so, will he give us the rest of the steps?
I was reading about Richard Rose's realization experience yesterday, as it was recommended to me by J. Some have theorized that Richard Rose is Jed McKenna. I do not think this is possible. Jed's books started to be published in 2003 and 2004. Rose, at that point, already had alzheimer's disease, and had already been in the nursing home since 1997. Also, Jed states in his first book, briefly, that he is 40 years old. In 2003 and 2004, Rose was already 86 or 87. And I don't think Rose would be jumping out of airplanes at that advanced age! In any case, Rose died in 2005, and I have a strange feeling that Jed is out there this very moment, pretending to be Jed.
All this that I have just typed above is my ego struggling. I was meaning to start my spiritual autolysis journal. As you have no doubt noticed, I got distracted by another subject and became side-tracked.
So, what do I know to be true? I can only start by speaking about the things that I once thought true. I am unsure about the truth of many of these things, now. I thought I was a human, disconnected from the rest of the world and alone. Now I believe that my human-ness is really just a hologram, or a shell for my ego. It's like everything that was once held within my skin has disappeared, and now the empty loose skin is laying piled on the floor. Only, there really isn't even any skin. There is nothing. Also, I do not any longer believe that I am disconnected from the rest of the world, nor that I am alone. I've thought about Oneness since I took my religions of the east course in college back in the fall of 2001. It started with Buddhism and Hinduism. From that point, I was hooked. My professor planted the seed, and that seed began to grow like a vine. I went from simply taking a course to fulfill my elective requirements to being consumed by the need to become enlightened or to know truth. When I learned about the Buddhists' beliefs and the Hindus' beliefs, I felt in my heart that everything was really One. I remember sitting in the classroom, and looking at the other students I thought to myself, "Wow, this is awesome. All these people are really parts of myself."
Since that course, I've delved into many philosophical and spiritual topics, going from one phase to the next, trying to find what felt right to me. I went into the New Age, and also started trying to practice mysticism or to have mystical experiences, like astral projection and out-of-body experiences. In other words, I got off-track as usual. Don't get me wrong, I'd really like to experience these and many other mystical things, but I want to bring my focus to enlightenment, first. Once enlightened, I want to play around. Truth be told, I hope that the playing becomes easier once one is enlightened, because it certainly is not easy for me to project astrally.
Argh... there I go again, rambling, trying to avoid the task at hand. Perhaps a good place for me to start would be to state the things that I know are not true? Just to get them out of the way, sweep them under the rug for now, maybe examine further in the future. Well, for one, I am not an insect. Now THAT I know to be true. What else? I am not the clothes that I wear. I am not my mother or father. I am not my job.
And right now, this moment, what seems to be true? I am sitting in a chair; I can feel it beneath my bum, I can feel my feet upon the legs. I am typing this on a computer; I can feel the keyboard beneath my fingertips, and can see the screen in front of me, the cursor moving from left to right as the words appear. I just cleared my throat, and blinked my eyes. I'm breathing air.
What do you think? Is this a good place to start? Is it time to start examining these things? I feel like I already know, intellectually, where all this is going. It's, somehow, going to end up at only "I am." As I said before, the only thing I know 100% for sure, is that I am aware and conscious. I can't prove that this keyboard is real, because I am not aware as the keyboard. I can't prove my sister is real, because I can't be aware as her. She can swear up and down that she exists, but that is not proof. There is nothing besides myself that I can be aware as. In other words, I can not see out their eyes, or think their thoughts, or feel the seat beneath them.
OK, time out for now. I think this is plenty for the first try. I'll wait and see what you all think about this.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Back from Camping
I'm back from camping, and have a few videos and photos to share with you. This was Peabody's first camping trip, and he was an excellent camper. He'd make a great boyscout. If you have a dial-up connection, you won't be able to watch the videos. The first video is of an interesting fuzzy little caterpillar I saw. I've only seen about two of these in my entire life. I've seen other "fuzzies" but only two of this type. He was on our picnic table until I picked him up and put him on a nearby tree. The second video is of Peabody and Princess. They play like this often, usually several times a day. It's great exercise for Princess, because as you can see she is a bit overweight, and since we adopted Peabody in June, she's lost a few pounds. The rest are photos taken here and there throughout the trip.
On a side note, I will get to respond to comments tomorrow morning. I missed you guys. It would be nice if I had a laptop and the park had wi-fi access.
I spent some time with Jed McKenna's second book, _Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment_. I'll probably say some things about it tomorrow when I have more time.
On a side note, I will get to respond to comments tomorrow morning. I missed you guys. It would be nice if I had a laptop and the park had wi-fi access.
I spent some time with Jed McKenna's second book, _Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment_. I'll probably say some things about it tomorrow when I have more time.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Friday, Saturday and Sunday
I'm leaving tomorrow to go camping and won't be back until Sunday, so I won't be able to respond to comments or emails until then. I'm already behind, so there will be some catching up for me to do when I get back!
Everyone, have a good weekend and I'll see you when I get back. I'll miss our discussions! It's too bad I can't take my computer with me.
Everyone, have a good weekend and I'll see you when I get back. I'll miss our discussions! It's too bad I can't take my computer with me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
From Another Point of View
A few posts below, is the post I called "No Self". In it, I spoke about about some things Jed McKenna said in his book. It might be confusing, because I interjected a lot of my thoughts and questions in the post. The best way to get Jed's teachings is to read the book.
I received an email from a friend who would - for the purpose of this post - like to be known as "The Anonymous Plagiarizer". He says these ideas are around elsewhere, here and there. The blue text is from my original post. The red text is part of his response to me. Just thought it would be neat to add another viewpoint to this blog. (By the way, for those of you that email me, please let me know if it's OK if I choose to use some of your email on this blog, and if I do, let me know how you would like to be known, i.e. anonymous, first name or full name. I'd like to share other viewpoints besides my own.)
S.W.: Jed McKenna says in his book, _Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing_, that we can't find our true selves because the true self does not exist. There is only false self and no self. Journeys of self exploration only perfect the ego, one's dream character. Most people aren't awake because they dread the nothingness of no self.
A.P.: This needs some clarification. In Buddhism the terms used are "no independent self", no separate identifiable Jack or Sophia. What does it look like to have no separate self or no self or no boundaries? Why is it scary in fact terrifying to the point of getting the shakes when this is first looked straight in the face? Because we think we will die and disappear. It is really the question of death looked starkley in the face. ARE YOU A BODY? If so, you have every right to be scared, because IT'S GOING TO DIE! The only answer is to discover what you are with no shred of doubt and to the point where it is bluntly obvious to you. Anything less is speculation and hearsay.
I received an email from a friend who would - for the purpose of this post - like to be known as "The Anonymous Plagiarizer". He says these ideas are around elsewhere, here and there. The blue text is from my original post. The red text is part of his response to me. Just thought it would be neat to add another viewpoint to this blog. (By the way, for those of you that email me, please let me know if it's OK if I choose to use some of your email on this blog, and if I do, let me know how you would like to be known, i.e. anonymous, first name or full name. I'd like to share other viewpoints besides my own.)
S.W.: Jed McKenna says in his book, _Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing_, that we can't find our true selves because the true self does not exist. There is only false self and no self. Journeys of self exploration only perfect the ego, one's dream character. Most people aren't awake because they dread the nothingness of no self.
A.P.: This needs some clarification. In Buddhism the terms used are "no independent self", no separate identifiable Jack or Sophia. What does it look like to have no separate self or no self or no boundaries? Why is it scary in fact terrifying to the point of getting the shakes when this is first looked straight in the face? Because we think we will die and disappear. It is really the question of death looked starkley in the face. ARE YOU A BODY? If so, you have every right to be scared, because IT'S GOING TO DIE! The only answer is to discover what you are with no shred of doubt and to the point where it is bluntly obvious to you. Anything less is speculation and hearsay.
Monday, September 17, 2007
My Little Hot Tub Frog
For about three weeks this small green frog with sticky feet keeps showing up in our hot tub. We have moved him away from the hot tub to other locations in our yard at least three times. He keeps finding his way back. Do frogs have some sort of tracking device or homing device in their brains? The first time we found him, D. put him in the grass in the yard. A week later we open the hot tub, and there he is again. The second time, I moved him to a tree at least 100 feet away from the house. Several days later we looked in the hot tub, and there he was... AGAIN! For the second time I picked him up and carried him to the tree in the farthest corner of our back yard. That was at least three days ago. This evening, we checked the hot tub, and there he was, sitting right by the control buttons. We've decided that moving him is futile, and that he really likes the hot tub. I've been worried that he'll fall into the water, but since he's been managing to stay out of it, I'll let him have the benefit of the doubt and he can keep his home. When D. and I next get in the hot tub I'll put him in a container until we're out, and then I'll put him back. The little frog has probably been frustrated with me - for moving him to what would seem like miles to him - to the tree. I have no idea how a tiny little frog can find his way back. This is quite a distance for a little guy! If I see him with a drink, cigar and girlfriend in the hot tub, I'm going to be very worried. (Note, he looks slightly brown in these photographs, but he is definitely green. No, he is not a toad!)
Spiritual Autolysis
I am trying to think of things to write down in a spiritual autolysis journal. (For those who don't know, spiritual autolysis is Jed McKenna's method of getting down to the truth.)
I can't even get started with my journal. Everything I think of I already know of as false. I can't get beyond the fact that the only thing I know to be true at this moment is the fact that I exist.
Does anyone have any good examples to help me get started? There are no examples online. Don't you people blog about your spiritual autolysis journals? I've gone through every link in Google. Nothing!
I can't even get started with my journal. Everything I think of I already know of as false. I can't get beyond the fact that the only thing I know to be true at this moment is the fact that I exist.
Does anyone have any good examples to help me get started? There are no examples online. Don't you people blog about your spiritual autolysis journals? I've gone through every link in Google. Nothing!
Enlightenment: The Forbidden Fruit?
Exploring enlightenment as I have been doing off and on since 2001, and continuously since 2005, sometimes makes me feel guilty. I think this is because of my background with Christianity from my youth. While I mostly didn't go to church voluntarily, I still have these moments where I think that by not accepting Jesus as my savior I'll be going to Hell. Is my toying with alternative spirituality a sin? Is the God-consciousness that I've been working towards the forbidden fruit that got Adam and Eve thrown out of the Garden of Eden? When I'm laying on my death bed, should I have a preacher standing over me, asking if I accept Jesus Christ into my heart? Part of me says I should do so "just in case". But then, if I was on a just-in-case basis, I'd wear symbols from every religion around my neck, wouldn't I!
No doubt that this thinking was caused by the brainwash I'd endured as a child. I'm still worried, though. What's right and what's wrong? I think too much in black and white!
No doubt that this thinking was caused by the brainwash I'd endured as a child. I'm still worried, though. What's right and what's wrong? I think too much in black and white!
The Enlightened Caveman
I tend to equate enlightenment with thoughtlessness. (Thoughtlessness as in devoid of thought, not rude behavior towards others, in case anyone wondered.) It might be that enlightenment and thoughtlessness are not the same things, that thoughtlessness arises from first being enlightened, or that enlightenment arises from first being thoughtless.
Our minds are obviously more advanced than the caveman's mind. No doubt we think more thoughts than he did. We have thoughts about love, careers, finances, family, friends, pets, health, entertainment, spirituality, property and myriad other things. The caveman? Well, if he thought thoughts and didn't just act out of instinct, probably thought many fewer thoughts. He probably thought about food, water, shelter, warmth, territory and safety. (As a side note, it would be interesting to know what language cavemen thought in. We think our thoughts in our head using our native language. Cavemen, I'm postulating, probably thought using a series of grunts. Or, maybe they thought using images.)
I can't imagine that the cavemen thought constantly, like we mostly do. I am speculating that they sat around with empty minds often. If enlightenment arises from thoughtlessness, might the caveman have been enlightened?
If enlightenment really does mean truth realization, I don't suppose the caveman would have been enlightened. Truth realization seems to take, at least for me, significant thinking time. For me, it seems to be an intellectual pursuit, and I've never heard anywhere that cavemen were intellectuals. (Although, the mental picture I've conjured up of cavemen playing chess is quite humorous.)
So, what do you think? Was the caveman enlightened, or not? Unlike Buddha or Jesus, we have no written account of caveman's enlightenment, so should we fail to hypothesize that the caveman might have been Awake?
Anyway, I hope this post doesn't seem too far off-the wall. I don't want to get weird on anyone, and I've already risked that by writing about aliens. If the caveman could have been enlightened based on the conjecture that they had empty mind more often than we do, it's also quite possible that the dog or cat could be enlightened, or even frogs and insects. However, if realizing truth is required of enlightenment, we can just scratch this idea.
Our minds are obviously more advanced than the caveman's mind. No doubt we think more thoughts than he did. We have thoughts about love, careers, finances, family, friends, pets, health, entertainment, spirituality, property and myriad other things. The caveman? Well, if he thought thoughts and didn't just act out of instinct, probably thought many fewer thoughts. He probably thought about food, water, shelter, warmth, territory and safety. (As a side note, it would be interesting to know what language cavemen thought in. We think our thoughts in our head using our native language. Cavemen, I'm postulating, probably thought using a series of grunts. Or, maybe they thought using images.)
I can't imagine that the cavemen thought constantly, like we mostly do. I am speculating that they sat around with empty minds often. If enlightenment arises from thoughtlessness, might the caveman have been enlightened?
If enlightenment really does mean truth realization, I don't suppose the caveman would have been enlightened. Truth realization seems to take, at least for me, significant thinking time. For me, it seems to be an intellectual pursuit, and I've never heard anywhere that cavemen were intellectuals. (Although, the mental picture I've conjured up of cavemen playing chess is quite humorous.)
So, what do you think? Was the caveman enlightened, or not? Unlike Buddha or Jesus, we have no written account of caveman's enlightenment, so should we fail to hypothesize that the caveman might have been Awake?
Anyway, I hope this post doesn't seem too far off-the wall. I don't want to get weird on anyone, and I've already risked that by writing about aliens. If the caveman could have been enlightened based on the conjecture that they had empty mind more often than we do, it's also quite possible that the dog or cat could be enlightened, or even frogs and insects. However, if realizing truth is required of enlightenment, we can just scratch this idea.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Spiritual Blog Readers
Can anyone tell me if blog readers allow you to read comments? I'd like to start using a blog reader, so that I can more easily keep up with the blogs I read, but I don't want to miss any of the comments. If they do, can you tell me which blog reader you use that allows this?
A New and Improved Peabody
I am just taking a short siesta from the journey to enlightenment, and thought I'd quickly show you some photos of that dog we rescued on June 25th of this year.
This is Peabody today. Look at how happy he looks! And check out those lean muscles:
OK. Siesta is over. Journey to enlightenment will resume. I'll answer comments tomorrow! Thanks!
This is Peabody on June 25th, straight off the streets:
This is Peabody today. Look at how happy he looks! And check out those lean muscles:
OK. Siesta is over. Journey to enlightenment will resume. I'll answer comments tomorrow! Thanks!Friday, September 14, 2007
No Self
Jed McKenna says in his book, _Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing_, that we can't find our true selves because the true self does not exist. There is only false self and no self. Journeys of self exploration only perfect the ego, one's dream character. Most people aren't awake because they dread the nothingness of no self.
Pure nothingness is a very frightening concept for me. I am not quite sure why, though, but I am willing to gamble that it is because my ego doesn't like the idea. When I think of nothingness, I think of boredom, and I tremendously dislike boredom.
I start to wonder where my soul fits into all of this. Is my soul my ego? Upon death, will my soul just dissolve into the ether? It's not a very encouraging thought, and there is no conformity to the blissful afterlife I've been promised through studying world religions. I would be more optimistic, on the other hand, if I knew that melting away into the One would exceed the blissfulness of having an afterlife as a soul.
If I had the chance to ask Jed some questions, I'd ask him what he thinks about the following:
1. Is there reincarnation?
2. If there is reincarnation, will my false self or ego be reborn into another being, or will Sophia simply disappear?
3. Does being enlightened mean that you don't have to be reborn?
4. Do you think that the dissolution of the ego into pure awareness or consciousness would be more blissful than having an afterlife as a soul?
5. What do you think about near-death experiences, or about astral projection or out-of-body experiences?
6. When the sun turns into a red giant and consumes planet earth, what will happen to consciousness? Granted, this is not expected to happen for billions of years, but when it does, will everyone be reborn on another planet, or in another dimension?
7. What do you think about parallel universes?
Even though these are questions that I wish Jed could answer, anyone else can feel free to give me their answers or opinions. I am sure I'll have more questions, because I always have questions.
Thanks.
Pure nothingness is a very frightening concept for me. I am not quite sure why, though, but I am willing to gamble that it is because my ego doesn't like the idea. When I think of nothingness, I think of boredom, and I tremendously dislike boredom.
I start to wonder where my soul fits into all of this. Is my soul my ego? Upon death, will my soul just dissolve into the ether? It's not a very encouraging thought, and there is no conformity to the blissful afterlife I've been promised through studying world religions. I would be more optimistic, on the other hand, if I knew that melting away into the One would exceed the blissfulness of having an afterlife as a soul.
If I had the chance to ask Jed some questions, I'd ask him what he thinks about the following:
1. Is there reincarnation?
2. If there is reincarnation, will my false self or ego be reborn into another being, or will Sophia simply disappear?
3. Does being enlightened mean that you don't have to be reborn?
4. Do you think that the dissolution of the ego into pure awareness or consciousness would be more blissful than having an afterlife as a soul?
5. What do you think about near-death experiences, or about astral projection or out-of-body experiences?
6. When the sun turns into a red giant and consumes planet earth, what will happen to consciousness? Granted, this is not expected to happen for billions of years, but when it does, will everyone be reborn on another planet, or in another dimension?
7. What do you think about parallel universes?
Even though these are questions that I wish Jed could answer, anyone else can feel free to give me their answers or opinions. I am sure I'll have more questions, because I always have questions.
Thanks.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Anomalous Earth
They've been watching us
But they will not make contact
We still fight our wars
This is a senryu (a type of haiku) that I wrote today, based on the Zoo Hypothesis. One of the theories of the Zoo Hypothesis is that earth has been unable to make contact with intelligent alien life forms because we are still fighting wars. According to the hypothesis, earth could be monitored by aliens, in order for them to study us. Or, our planet is being kept in a "zoo or wilderness area". If there are alien beings in the universe that have been observing our planet, they could perhaps see our tendency to fight wars, and therefore perceive us as a threat, thinking it better to remain unacknowledged.
There is a song from the 90s that I think makes a good point, and it is related to the Zoo Hypothesis. It is by Milla Jevovich, called "The Alien Song (for Those Who Listen)".
I see a shining...
A sweeping from the clouds
A glimmer of hope
Is coming to feel our light
Oh look it's flashing
This life among the stars
Reaching out to know us
To feel our might
Oh...this restless hope in you
Please...try and help us
Stand on our own
As we stopped on this pavement
And saw your dying mind
Paper, for which you're killing brothers life
Help you, we cannot trust you
We cannot understand
Your people's proud destruction
Of their own land
Oh...we're flying on from you
We...will not stay to see your fate
Watch them fly away
Watch them fly away
See the lines across the sky
Watch them fly...away
I think that it is very possible that somewhere out in the universe there are alien life forms, even advanced intelligent alien life forms. I do not know how special humans are, but I believe it is at least imaginable that such life forms could contribute to the greater picture, adding even more diversity to the cosmic consciousness of which everything is. At the same time, I wonder if humans might really be special, and were put here in the middle of a giant universal matrix in which there is no other form of life. Why that should be, I am not sure. Perhaps this really is just a human experience, and living on planet earth is just one step of the journey.
What do you think?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_paradox
But they will not make contact
We still fight our wars
This is a senryu (a type of haiku) that I wrote today, based on the Zoo Hypothesis. One of the theories of the Zoo Hypothesis is that earth has been unable to make contact with intelligent alien life forms because we are still fighting wars. According to the hypothesis, earth could be monitored by aliens, in order for them to study us. Or, our planet is being kept in a "zoo or wilderness area". If there are alien beings in the universe that have been observing our planet, they could perhaps see our tendency to fight wars, and therefore perceive us as a threat, thinking it better to remain unacknowledged.
There is a song from the 90s that I think makes a good point, and it is related to the Zoo Hypothesis. It is by Milla Jevovich, called "The Alien Song (for Those Who Listen)".
I see a shining...
A sweeping from the clouds
A glimmer of hope
Is coming to feel our light
Oh look it's flashing
This life among the stars
Reaching out to know us
To feel our might
Oh...this restless hope in you
Please...try and help us
Stand on our own
As we stopped on this pavement
And saw your dying mind
Paper, for which you're killing brothers life
Help you, we cannot trust you
We cannot understand
Your people's proud destruction
Of their own land
Oh...we're flying on from you
We...will not stay to see your fate
Watch them fly away
Watch them fly away
See the lines across the sky
Watch them fly...away
I think that it is very possible that somewhere out in the universe there are alien life forms, even advanced intelligent alien life forms. I do not know how special humans are, but I believe it is at least imaginable that such life forms could contribute to the greater picture, adding even more diversity to the cosmic consciousness of which everything is. At the same time, I wonder if humans might really be special, and were put here in the middle of a giant universal matrix in which there is no other form of life. Why that should be, I am not sure. Perhaps this really is just a human experience, and living on planet earth is just one step of the journey.
What do you think?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_paradox
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Synchronicity Journal September 12, 2007
I was reading my friend Starrchilde's blog just moments ago, and she was relating to us an inside joke between her and her husband, in which he responds to her with, "Co-ed naked?"
Right after reading that, I went to read an article on LiveReals's website about spiritual enlightenment. Close to the beginning of the article, they say, humorously, that spiritual enlightenment is more thrilling than coed naked fireskiing.
I just had to quietly laugh to myself and shake my head. As always these synchronicities amuse me.
Right after reading that, I went to read an article on LiveReals's website about spiritual enlightenment. Close to the beginning of the article, they say, humorously, that spiritual enlightenment is more thrilling than coed naked fireskiing.
I just had to quietly laugh to myself and shake my head. As always these synchronicities amuse me.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I Really Liked What Jed McKenna Said
A friend gave me a book by Jed McKenna called _Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing_.
In the book, Jed satisfied me with an answer to a koan that I've run into time and time again. You know, the one that goes, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Jed says that the tree and the forest exist without being seen, so it naturally follows that the tree makes a sound without being heard.
How logical! Way to go, Jed.
By the way, I know Jed isn't a real person, but if you're reading this and you're pretending to be Jed McKenna, would you please shoot me an email? Thanks. You just never know who's going to google the words "Jed McKenna".
In the book, Jed satisfied me with an answer to a koan that I've run into time and time again. You know, the one that goes, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Jed says that the tree and the forest exist without being seen, so it naturally follows that the tree makes a sound without being heard.
How logical! Way to go, Jed.
By the way, I know Jed isn't a real person, but if you're reading this and you're pretending to be Jed McKenna, would you please shoot me an email? Thanks. You just never know who's going to google the words "Jed McKenna".
Sunday, September 9, 2007
We Are More Than We Think
One person, in a country, in a world, in a galaxy, in a universe... It's so easy to feel minuscule and unimportant. When we compare ourselves with the vastness of the universe, we feel smaller than even a grain of sand, one grain among billions. This feeling arises from simple ignorance, for many of us do not know who or what we are.
"Ignorance is the most potent factor in setting limitations to the majority of mankind; and so the great majority of people continue to live their little, dwarfed, and stunted lives simply by virtue of the fact that they do not realize the larger life to which they are heirs. They have never as yet come into a knowledge of the real identity of their true selves." ~ _In Tune With the Infinite_, by Ralph Waldo Trine, 1910, chapter: The Supreme Fact of Human Life
Now, I cannot pretend to know just who I am or others are, or what larger life we're inheriting, but I will continue searching for the answer to this riddle. I can read about it in books, or parrot the saying that we are all One and God, sure, that's easy to do. I can intellectualize it and analyze it using my mind. I can believe it. But, someday I hope to feel it, or even better, to know it. Is final realization of this called enlightenment?
"Ignorance is the most potent factor in setting limitations to the majority of mankind; and so the great majority of people continue to live their little, dwarfed, and stunted lives simply by virtue of the fact that they do not realize the larger life to which they are heirs. They have never as yet come into a knowledge of the real identity of their true selves." ~ _In Tune With the Infinite_, by Ralph Waldo Trine, 1910, chapter: The Supreme Fact of Human Life
Now, I cannot pretend to know just who I am or others are, or what larger life we're inheriting, but I will continue searching for the answer to this riddle. I can read about it in books, or parrot the saying that we are all One and God, sure, that's easy to do. I can intellectualize it and analyze it using my mind. I can believe it. But, someday I hope to feel it, or even better, to know it. Is final realization of this called enlightenment?
Thursday, September 6, 2007
I Hope Not
In October, Amazon.com is going to release a new electronic book reader called "Kindle". The reader will have the ability to download books without a connection to the computer, through a wireless modem that is featured on this gadget.
I've seen other electronic book readers, before, and I've been very reluctant to try one. Yes, I do love little electronic toys, but there is something sacred about a book in pure form. There is the texture of the pages, that I love to touch when I turn them. There is the wonderful smell that comes from new books, and the very agreeable musty smell that comes from old books, as well as the bookish smell as I walk into a library. There is that incredible feeling I get when I loan or give a book to a good friend. Let's not forget how great it is to hold in our hands a book that has been read many times, with dogeared pages and broken spines. There is something very spiritual and human about that, knowing that others have enjoyed the same passages and experienced similar emotions. I also enjoy savoring and looking at my bookshelves, seeing all my titles proudly on display for anyone who pays a visit to my house. I am sure others feel the same way, so I do not see these electronic readers replacing real books anytime soon.
For more information on Kindle, visit this page:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/09/06/technology/06amazon.php?page=1
I've seen other electronic book readers, before, and I've been very reluctant to try one. Yes, I do love little electronic toys, but there is something sacred about a book in pure form. There is the texture of the pages, that I love to touch when I turn them. There is the wonderful smell that comes from new books, and the very agreeable musty smell that comes from old books, as well as the bookish smell as I walk into a library. There is that incredible feeling I get when I loan or give a book to a good friend. Let's not forget how great it is to hold in our hands a book that has been read many times, with dogeared pages and broken spines. There is something very spiritual and human about that, knowing that others have enjoyed the same passages and experienced similar emotions. I also enjoy savoring and looking at my bookshelves, seeing all my titles proudly on display for anyone who pays a visit to my house. I am sure others feel the same way, so I do not see these electronic readers replacing real books anytime soon.
For more information on Kindle, visit this page:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/09/06/technology/06amazon.php?page=1
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
More Light Than Can Be Seen
Having recently suffered from something akin to writers' block, I do not have any new material for this blog at the moment. Give it time, and I am sure I will have a subject that I want to share with the world. (Or more like, my five or six readers... :)
I do, however, wish to start depositing bits of wisdom into this blog, found throughout various esoteric, spiritual or religious texts.
The first on offer, is a bit I found from Manly P. Hall's, _Secret Teachings of All Ages_.
"Since light is the basic physical manifestation of life, bathing all creation in its radiance, it is highly important to realize, in part at least, the subtle nature of this divine substance. That which is called light is actually a rate of vibration causing certain reactions upon the optic nerve. Few realize how they are walled in by the limitations of the sense perceptions. Not only is there a great deal more to light than anyone has ever seen but there are also unknown forms of light which no optical equipment will ever register. There are unnumbered colors which cannot be seen, as well as sounds which cannot be heard, odors which cannot be smelt, flavors which cannot be tasted, and substances which cannot be felt. Man is thus surrounded by a supersensible universe of which he knows nothing because the centers of sense perception within himself have not been developed sufficiently to respond to the subtler rates of vibration of which that universe is composed."
For you, my friends, a reminder that there is more to the Universe than meets the eye. (Unless we're talking about the third eye....)
Tonight I hope to get caught-up on comments. I've gotten behind again. My apologies; I've been very busy at home and work!
I do, however, wish to start depositing bits of wisdom into this blog, found throughout various esoteric, spiritual or religious texts.
The first on offer, is a bit I found from Manly P. Hall's, _Secret Teachings of All Ages_.
"Since light is the basic physical manifestation of life, bathing all creation in its radiance, it is highly important to realize, in part at least, the subtle nature of this divine substance. That which is called light is actually a rate of vibration causing certain reactions upon the optic nerve. Few realize how they are walled in by the limitations of the sense perceptions. Not only is there a great deal more to light than anyone has ever seen but there are also unknown forms of light which no optical equipment will ever register. There are unnumbered colors which cannot be seen, as well as sounds which cannot be heard, odors which cannot be smelt, flavors which cannot be tasted, and substances which cannot be felt. Man is thus surrounded by a supersensible universe of which he knows nothing because the centers of sense perception within himself have not been developed sufficiently to respond to the subtler rates of vibration of which that universe is composed."
For you, my friends, a reminder that there is more to the Universe than meets the eye. (Unless we're talking about the third eye....)
Tonight I hope to get caught-up on comments. I've gotten behind again. My apologies; I've been very busy at home and work!
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