Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
In the dream - though I forget most of the context - I see lots of colorful colorful crystals sticking up out of the ground. I walk around collecting as many as I can carry. I seem to remember pink and blue being the primary colors of the crystals.
Perhaps the pink and blue has significance. I am, after all, going to be walking for the March of Dimes, which is a charitable organization for babies, and pink is the color for girls and blue is the color for boys. I don't know if this is what the colors in my dream means, but it does seem to tie in with what's going on lately.
If you are interested in sponsoring me on this walk, please send me an email and I will give you some personal info that will allow you to do so. Checks can be made payable to The March of Dimes. They also accept international donations on my sponsor page. I have set my own personal goal to raise $100 and I've already received $20 today, so I only have $80 more to go! Every little bit helps. $1, $2, $10, $20, it's all money that can be used to help save babies' lives.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Also, I may be a little slow responding to emails, although this shouldn't be anything new because I already usually take a few days to respond as it is, and sometimes I forget to respond altogether, although I'm trying to work on that bad habit!! My friends are important to me, and I greatly enjoy reading your comments and receiving your emails.
I just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgotten you. :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I should make a note, here. In the past and now you've seen me make several mentions of visions I've had during meditation. These visions did not arrive by conscious effort on my part. I suppose you could say they are hypnagogic imagery. I am so far deep into trance that I enter into a dreamlike state. I can't hold these images very long, yet, but perhaps over time with practice I will be able to.
For more information on hypnagogic imagery, check out this page:
Monday, April 23, 2007
[Surprise, surprise, it's another school dream, and as usual I don't have my homework done.]
I am sitting in class and the teacher walks around to check that everyone has their homework done. When he gets to me I come up with an excuse because I don't have mine finished.
My sister is checking to see what her current grade is in her class. Strangely, she has a beard in this dream. She finds out that she has a 50% in the class. She tells me, and I'm disappointed. She does a little bit of math and figures out that in order to pass the class, she needs to make a 40% on the next test. (Apparently math in my dreams doesn't make sense.)
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I'm opening geodes to find crystals. I open one and inside is a beautiful array of clear crystal which looks like clear quartz. I pull out the crystals and take them with me.
[Note: I don't really know much about the supposed benefits of crystals, but I wear a clear quartz crystal around my neck because it is simply beautiful, regardless of whether or not it has any "powers".]
I am in a casino hotel with Anthony Hopkins. He is there playing a game of black jack and watching a boxing match at the same time. I am tired and am on a higher floor level looking down at him playing. He comes up to my level to carry me to bed. As he carries me to the room, I hold on to him tightly, hugging him and feeling close to him, closing my eyes as I press my face against his. It was very tender, really.
This was one of those dreams where I woke up feeling a bit disappointed that it was only a dream. I felt emotionally close to the man that looked like Anthony Hopkins.
I have to learn how to become lucid in dreams again. :)
Friday, April 20, 2007
A man comes and sits down at a chair at a table that is outside. He says that he used to live in the house across the street and that he remembers me. He pinches my cheek.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Yesterday I bought an expensive toy of my own. My husband has bought quite a few over the years, and I felt I not only wanted this new toy, but needed it. It is a treadmill. I wouldn't be buying it if I didn't think I needed it, and right now one of my main goals is to get in good shape again. The treadmill should arrive Friday evening.
The synchronicity in this is that today I received an email from my boss saying that I'll be getting a bonus. The amount of the bonus is the same amount I spent on the treadmill.
So, now I don't feel like I have such a financial loss. It'll all come out evenly.
Thank you, Universe, for taking care of me.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The number was used in the lecture to show that the AMA (American Medical Association) admits that 80% of things that can go wrong with the body start with stress.
Monday, April 16, 2007
The lecturer Ian Lungold explains the structure history has had, through the Mayan calendar. He talks about the evolution of consciousness and shows that history may not be as chaotic as we think it is.
I have not watched the other two parts, yet. I'll watch the second part tomorrow, and the third part probably on Wednesday. However, I get the feeling that we're headed on our way to something grand.
If you get a chance, please watch this video. I know, two hours sounds like a long time, but you will not get bored. What an awesome lecture this is!
Secrets of the Mayan Calendar Unveiled (Part 1)
Secrets of the Mayan Calendar Unveiled (Part 2)
Secrets of the Mayan Calendar Unveiled (Part 3)
About 15 minutes ago I was walking through a door at work. A woman that I have never seen before was on her way out the same door. We almost bumped into each other. She just started laughing and laughing! Hearing her laugh made me laugh, and so we just laughed, I laughed on my way into the room, she laughed on her way out. It was funny - I could hear her continue to laugh as she walked away, her laughter growing distant as she got farther and farther away.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Today is a special day -
From one blogger to another, Happy birthday, Alex!
To find out more about Alex, visit his SUPER cool blog: B.I.D.E., where he makes spiritual commentary on events happening around our world.
Friday, April 13, 2007
TinManMoves or Tin Man Moves was a website where you remained purely anonymous and dropped off insightful hints to be placed in members' emailboxes. Sometimes people would respond, but they would be anonymous, too. It was like a collective consciousness of sorts where people could basically help people. The insights were fabulous!
Today I went to find TinManMoves, but it is gone. Does anyone know what happened to it? Has anyone ever heard of it?
This is a message to the creator of TinManMoves: Please bring it back! (I'm hoping he or she will do a Google search and find this message.)
Here are some samples of some of the messages I received while TinManMoves was up and running:
"What else is there but love to save ourselves..."
"How can we know an answer, if we don't know the question?"
"FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real"
"life is the most extreme sport."
"There is no dispute that cannot be solved, given enough patience..."
One of my favorites - "New treasure comes from old chests."
"The true meaning of peace is the absence of struggle..."
"I need to let go of the past and live in the NOW"
I have hundreds more. I saved them all because I thought maybe I could use them someday. I'm glad I did, because if anything they serve as remnants of the treature trove that was known as TinManMoves.
Update: I just remembered that there is another service which is similar to TinManMoves, although I haven't tried it out yet, so I don't know what kinds of messages I'll receive, but the service is called "Message in a Bottle". Here is a link if anyone is interested:
I am swimming in a room filled with water. I am with an African-American couple, and we are picking each other up and dunking each other head-first into the water.
I am standing in front of my old boss T.G. He says to me, "You're fired."
In another part of the dream, he says to me, "You're hired." I am in disbelief that he hired me, and I am very excited.
Later on I'm organizing old print outs, the kind of the big old lined green printer paper. The papers are numbered and I'm putting them in numerical order.
Still later I am surfing the Internet. I realize that I've been surfing the Internet for a while and haven't been working. It is just a realization of sorts, like, "Oops! I haven't been doing my work." I hope to myself that my boss didn't notice and I go back to work.
Note: I only worked for T.G. for the first six months after college. He owned his own business, and I learned that it is not wise to go work for a small personal business. I did not like T.G. AT ALL! I had the impression that he wanted me to worship the ground he walked on, and when I didn't it caused some sort of discord between us. Anyway, when he found out that I was looking for another job elsewhere (which I got shortly after), he fired me.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
This quote comes from an essay I've just spent a while reading. I highly recommend it, as it presents some ideas on the nature of the body, soul and anima mundi.
I am in a museum, and looking at a poster of Dali's "The Sacrament of the Last Supper". I'm looking at a poster instead of the real image because another museum is currently borrowing the real painting, and this museum has a poster up temporarily in its place.
Note: The Sacrament of the Last Supper is one of my favorite paintings. I had a chance to see the real thing at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C. a couple years ago.
Note #2: I couldn't remember any dreams this morning, however, after coming back from a walk I took on my first break, I saw the Dali book that I keep on my desk at work and I remembered that I had the dream.
Note #3: Just something interesting to note, that today is the 12th, and Dali said about the painting, that it is "an arithmetic and philosophical cosmogony based on the paranoiac sublimity of the number twelve...the pentagon contains microcosmic man: Christ".
Note #4 to self: Notice the pentagon in the painting. I need to learn more about sacred geometry!
Some common traits that accompany totem wolf symbols:
Not at all the picture of ferocity or terror, the Wolf is a creature with a high sense of loyalty and strength. Another misconception is that of the “lone wolf.” To the contrary, the Wolf is actually a social creature, friendly, and gregarious with its counterparts.
The Wolf is an incredible communicator. By using touch, body movements, eye contact as well as many complex vocal expressions – the wolf makes his point understood. Those with totem wolf symbols are of the same inclination – they are expressive both vocally and physically. Those who have the wolf as their totem animal are naturally eloquent in speech, and also have knack for creative writing.
Totem wolf symbols belong to those who truly understand the depth of passion that belong to this noble creature. The Wolf is a representative of deep faith, and profound understanding.
Further, the Wolf possess a high intellect, and have been observed using strategies about hunting, habitat and migration.
In history, the totem Wolf symbol appears with the founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus. Legend has it that the two founding brothers were raised and suckled by a she-wolf.
In Norse mythology, the Wolf is a symbol for victory when ridden by Odin and the Valkyries upon the battlefield.
As a Celtic symbol, the Wolf was a source of lunar power. Celtic lore states that the Wolf would hunt down the sun and devour it at each dusk so as to allow the power of the moon to come forth.
In Asia, the wolf guards the doors that allow entrance to heavenly, celestial realms. The Wolf is also said to be among the ancestry of Genghis Khan.
When this gracious creature appears to us, and serves as a totem in our lives, the Wolf beckons us to ask these questions:
Are you thinking about a different form of education?
Are you being a true friend, and are your friends being true to you?
Are you communicating yourself clearly to others?
Are you being loyal to yourself?
Are you incorporating strategies & planning to achieve your goals?
Are you spending enough quality time with yourself, friends & family?
Take some time to know more about the Wolf, you will be amazed at the knowledge these regal creatures can share with you.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
If I do fall asleep, PLEASE let me have dreams that I will remember in the morning!
Like I read on Alexys's blog, take some time to refuel yourself. If you're constantly lighting the way for others, you'll grow weary and your energy will be drained. Slow down, take some time for yourself. Get recharged!
The last thing I want to do is drain anyone's energy. This is called energy vampirism! If anything, I want to be a source of energy, giving my energy freely away to anyone who needs it. Receiving is nice, but I want to give, too. If you have given to me, how can I give back to you?
Do you know of a way I could help you? Do you need someone to talk to? A shoulder to cry on? I am not a licensed medical professional but I have one thing that I don't need a license to offer, and that is my friendship.
My mother has little knowledge of my spiritual beliefs. I really dislike using the word "beliefs" because it can be so limiting. Actually, beliefs are limiting. I believe we should all keep an open mind. See? I can't even say that sentence without using the word "believe". And there is that word "should", again. I should not should on myself or other people! How about this, "I think it would be great if we could keep an open mind!" Do you like that better? I do.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. My mother has very little knowledge of the choices I have made in life spiritually, although she does know that I have consciously claimed to not be a Christian. Really, I've ceased claiming to be anything. I do, however, call myself a "seeker". When I told my mother that I was thinking about going to a Unitarian church, she asked, "Why don't you go to a Methodist church?" I explained to my my mother that Unitarians are normally very open to others' beliefs and philosophies. I told her that I wish to learn from all paths, and that I see value in all religions, even though I don't choose to follow any particular path. "Basically, Mom, it's like this.... I am what you could call a 'seeker'." This conversation happened a few weeks ago.
Then last night, we were on the phone discussing my mother's current and future job plans. She has been working for the same place for quite a while now, and loves working there, but her job security isn't that great because it has been mentioned that they might begin to outsource their programmers. My mother is therefore looking for another job. She said she doesn't want to leave her job because there is the possibility they'll never decide to outsource, but at the same time she wants to find another job where she will be more secure. Then, she said something that has more wisdom in it than I am sure she realizes. She said, "Oh well. Que sera sera." This means, "Whatever will be will be."
Sand and Stone
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
Reflection (from Bro. Oh Teik Bin) "* When one learns not to retaliate or react to a perceived 'wrong' done by another towards oneself, then one is growing spiritually.* Retaliatory force, aggression, anger, illwill, revenge and hatred would not solve a problem. Anger or hatred is not overcome by anger or hatred ... it is through patience, tolerance, understanding, love and compassion that anger, illwill or hatred is overcome.* Reacting to a happening with anger, aggression, illwill or hatred will cause one to suffer in body and mind.* Learning to let go or forgive another for his 'wrong' towards us will keep the mind calm, peaceful and free. It lightens the mind ... and one is on the path to peace and freedom.* When someone does us a good turn, it is good spiritual quality to show appreciation and gratitude.* The practice of gratefulness helps to establish care, harmony and love in the hearts of people. And it brings spiritual growth.* FORGIVE and LET GO! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR THE MANY BLESSINGS WE HAVE.With Metta,
Bro. Oh Teik Bin"
In any case, the "instructor", as I call him, (is it Robert Monroe, does anyone know?), gave us leeway to perform our purpose. We entered focus 10 and were told to "perform" our "purpose". Not entirely sure what my purpose was, I just went around in my imagination telling everyone in the world that I loved them. Isn't that my purpose? To love? Isn't Love really what makes the world go 'round?
All I know, is that when I give love, I feel love. Love might be scary for some people, and I'm sure it can make them feel uncomfortable, because they are not entirely sure how to handle it. I don't want to come on too strong in the real world. I don't walk around the cubicles at work saying to everyone, "Hey, I love you!" No, I don't do that. But, no one is stopping me from doing it in my imagination.
So, I'm sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but, I love you. :) I wouldn't have the courage to say it to a stranger in real life, but this blog is spiritual, and a reflection of my spiritual realm.
Does it bother you too much to know that I love you? Is it sappy? Is it childish? Is it cheesy?
I'll admit that I saw my therapist on Friday. Even though I'm no longer depressed I'm still seeing my therapist because it's best to be preventative in these matters; I don't want it to come back. She mentioned that intellectually I am an intelligent woman, but emotionally I am still a child. I asked her, "Have I regressed?" She said I never got rid of the child in the first place. Apparently, some of the things that happened in my youth have caused me to hold on to the inner child. I don't want anyone to think I'm childish, I want them to see the intelligent woman. Is my love for other people childish? I worry that my emotions are the emotions of a child. It's difficult to come to grips with being told that emotionally you are still a child. You wonder, "Are my ideals not mature?" "Is this world worse than I imagine it to be?" Maybe I am Pollyanna. All I know is that if getting rid of that inner child means giving up the love I feel for the people in this world, and losing the wonder when I experience new and unusual things, then I don't want to grow up.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Last night's lesson was called "Release and Recharge". I can remember just a little bit of the lesson - that we were going through things in the energy conversion box, and looking for hidden emotions and getting rid of them, such as fear. We simply let the fear bubble up and away.
I am definitely going to do lesson four again, because I can not remember if I fell asleep in the middle of it or not. I do remember being somewhat sleepy before beginning, however.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
I had two sessions tonight. The first, I meditated using the first CD in the three-CD set of PrimaSounds. The first CD is entitled "Lifetuning Primasounds". It was like a sonic bubble bath! It wasn't long before I was completely disoriented. I did not know for sure where my physical body was. I began to imagine that I was turned at a 180 degree angle, with my head where my feet really were, and my feet where my head really was. I believe this orientation of the energy body may someday help me to astral project, although this time I was more into just feeling the energy body more than attempting to project.
I am very much into sound healing, but especially in using sounds and non-predictive music to assist in meditation. I am, however, tonight very pleasantly surprised at how PrimaSounds aided me in feeling and experiencing my energy body; it is like nothing I have ever experienced before, and I have been using sounds to meditate with off and on for a while now.
After my session with the PrimaSounds, I got up and went to the kitchen to get one Hershey's Kiss. Just one! Then I came back and started lesson three in the Gateway Experience.
As with lessons one and two, I created the energy conversion box with which to place my concerns, to get them out of the way so that my thoughts are cleared during the session. Next, I did some resonant tuning, inhaling and imagining energy entering my body and head, exhaling stale energy while chanting the same tones that are played in the headphones. Tonight, I was introduced to the Resonant Energy Balloon (REBAL). I formed around me an energy balloon, by imagining energy spurting out of the top of my head like a fountain, circling that energy down around me like a spiral, and letting that energy re-enter my body through the soles of my feet. In this way, I let the energy flow out around and through me, a constant flow of energy.
After working on the REBAL we went easily into Focus 10, the mind-awake-body-asleep state. We remained in this focus for a few minutes, then he called us back out of it, into full waking consciousness. After becoming fully mentally and physically awake, he guided us back into Focus 10, but this time even deeper and longer. I am surprised with how much ease I am able to enter and leave Focus 10. This is good practice. While in Focus 10, he advised us that any time we wish to enter focus 10, all we have to do is inhale and think of the number 10 and exhale, and we can easily be in focus 10. This works like hypnosis. While in focus 10 the mind is very open to suggestions. I've noticed in the second session that while in focus 10 he gave us some instructions, such as anytime we want to remember something, all we have to do is touch our foreheads with the fingers of our right hand and we will remember. This is how I remembered this morning's dreams. On stirring in the morning, I couldn't remember my dreams, so I touched my forehead in this way, and sure enough I recalled two dreams.
This is all I have to report on for tonight. Tomorrow night, I'll have more as I listen to the second PrimaSounds CD and also the fourth lesson of the Gateway Experience.
Goodnight for now.
Friday, April 6, 2007
I am at a David Bowie concert. I am the only one in the audience. David reaches down and hands me a cigarette from up on the stage. I take it. It is falling apart badly. He then hands me a lighter. He reaches down again and gives me a handful of lighters.
I am at a man's house to take piano lessons from him. He teaches a houseful of women how to play. I sit down at a piano. There are a number of numbered folders containing lessons in them, in chronological order. (i.e. the first lesson is number one and contains sheet music, all the way to around folder number 20 or so.)
Thursday, April 5, 2007
I don't have to work tomorrow so I'm going to stay up a bit longer doing the second lesson again. It's probably going to take me 36 days or longer to complete this program.
And now, my dreamku inspired by my dreams of this morning:
The white gorilla
With these new eyes I can see
One in a million
I have a ring with a large rose-colored stone. A woman gives me something to clean the ring off with, but it is abrasive and therefore scratches the stone in various places. She gives me her ring to replace my damaged ring.
I am looking at a young woman; she has bulging eyes. They are not real eyes, but fake. She reaches up and pulls the fake eyes out of her eye sockets. Underneath, are her real eyes.
In another part of the dream, I am hugging a beige/white stuffed gorilla, like a child would hold a stuffed toy.
This morning I did a Google search for "albino gorilla" and found this: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/snowflake/index.html
Snowflake is the only known albino gorilla. He lived nearly 40 years.
I take from this dream that I am holding on to something rare and special. Obviously in waking life it is not a gorilla. I believe it is related to my spiritual journey. What am I holding on to that is so special?
The dream about the eyes might reflect that once I was seeing a false reality, but now I am beginning to see what really is. Or perhaps, once I was blind but now I can see.
I look-up "gorilla" in an online dream dictionary and find this:
"To see a gorilla in your dream, suggests that you may be too 'over the top' in your behaviour. Perhaps you are compensating for your rigidity and stiffness in your waking life. Alternatively, the gorilla symbolizes your primitive impulses, wild nature and repressed sexual energy."
Should we believe dream dictionaries?
These are just my takes on the dream. What are yours?
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
My mood tonight starting out was slightly frustrated and aggrevated, but only due to computer hardware issues. I turned out the light and laid back in my recliner in the computer room, took off my shoes and glasses. As directed, I created a box in my mind to put all my concerns into. Some of the things I stuffed into this box were computers, money, blogs, husbands, friends, just about anything that's been on my mind lately, good or bad. The idea is to have a mind that is not cluttered with thoughts. As with regular meditation, the idea is to have a quiet mind.
The Gateway Experience plays a multitude of sounds and tones, similar to binaural beats. Different tones are played in each ear, so that the brain acts as a third ear which creates it's own tone. It's called "hemi-sync". If you'd like to know more about it, look it up.
We worked on breathing exercises, breathing in while opening my eyes and imagining new fresh energy filling up my body and head, exhaling out while closing my eyes and imagining old stale energy leaving my body through my breath. Later, I chanted tones as I exhaled.
I began to feel as though I were floating. This isn't really the best description of what I was feeling. It felt like gravity wanted to pull me down farther than the chair was allowing. My hands tingled.
At the end, the speaker said, "When I count down to one you will be awake and alert." I was so relaxed in what is known as "Focus 3" that I couldn't conceive of coming out of it alert. I thought surely I would be sleepy afterwards. But, while he counted down, some new tones were played and sure enough after he got to one and I opened my eyes I felt refreshed.
I had fun during this session. There are quite a few lessons and I am unsure of what pace I should be going right now. I wonder to myself if I should do the first lesson again the next few nights or if I should just keep going forward and progressing. I'll probably look around the Internet and see how fast other people have gone.
Thank you to my mate in Australia for sending me this wonderful gift.
I may be missing a dream here or there. When I find them and post them, I'll let you know here.
Feel free to comment on any dream.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Fuzzy bear again, 2006.
She is another of my guardian angels.
I call her my angel because she fell out of the heavens into my arms.
(In real life, she was a stray who jumped out of a tree into my arms the first day I saw her.)
Me and Peeps, 2005
Now all of the feline variety of my guardian angels have been displayed on my blog. Soon, I'll introduce you to the queen of the house, our dog.
Slowly, little by little, I'll show you more of my world.
Cups in the hallway
Will I drink yellow or blue
I choose to see truth
I mention this because one of the fluids in the cups from last night's dream was yellow.
I type "yellow horse" in Google and find this:
He is a peace elder named Grandfather Yellow Horse Man.
As with other visions I've had in the past, I will probably email him just to tell him that my vision led me to him. The last time a vision led to a contact, I envisioned the letters I M U N U R I. Those letters led me to a man on a spirituality web site who had those letters as his email address. I contacted him, and luckily he was a spiritual man who understood where I was coming from. I just think that people might like to know that the Universe led me to them in this mysterious way.
It was difficult to come-up with an address that was available. I wanted something positive. I'm not very creative or poetic, but thought that this address suits me just fine.
I am walking down the hall at high school. On a table in front of a classroom are cups filled with drinks, some are yellow and some are blue. I grab a blue drink.
I'm heading for the lockers. I try to remember the combination to my locker. I think I remember the numbers being something like 25-26-27. But I hope that my locker-mate is there and already has the locker open.
I haven't been doing my homework for one of my classes, a math class, to be exact. I ask one of my teachers if it's too late to drop out of the class, so that I won't get a failing grade. She says, "No." Later on, the teacher is passing back homework, and I get some of mine back and realize that I'm not as far behind as I thought I was, so I rethink dropping the class.
It's possibly one of the most magical children's stories/movies ever.