Monday, November 28, 2005

The Easy Way

I wish there were a Cliff's Notes on Enlightenment.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to wish all my friends a Happy Thanksgiving! I Love you all! :)

Now I've Seen Everything!

It's a stuffed Buddha!!! Isn't it cute? This is definitely going on my Christmas list. I saw this this morning and it just made me smile. Enjoy the image as much as I have. :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

A Little Nondual Chatter

If there is only One, then perhaps I (The Self, The One) felt lonely and had to create many illusions to not feel so alone.

Regarding Kabbalah and Healing

Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah brought-up an interesting piece of dialogue in the comment section of my last post. I thought I'd place it here where everyone can view it and give your opinion on where you think healing should begin. Topics can range from healing the body, mind, spirit, individual or world.

Where does healing begin? (Dialogue start-up is below.)

Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah said...
The first question that pops to mind is where did the quote come from? There is no single work known as "The Kabbalah." Kabbalah is a mystic tradition that includes numerous texts and teachings. Not saying anything about the quality of the quoted material, but the citation set my alarms off. And with the recent facination with Pop-Kabbalah (which is mostly garbage) I'm always a bit on guard about such things. I do agree with the sentiment expressed in the piece you quote. Although I would argue that healing the world will help heal all of us.

Stacey said...
Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah, Thanks for your concern. Perhaps I was a little negligent in my quote. I should have stated that it came from the doctrine known as the Kabbalah. The quote itself says,"As the ancient mystical doctrine, the Cabala, says, we receive light and then we impart it... and thus we repair the world." (page xii)This comes from the book "Handbook for the Soul", edited by Richard Carlsen & Benjamin Shield.I like to look at it this way. If the world is filled with war and hate, it is probably because the world is filled with unconscious people. These people need to first be made conscious and aware. Start small and progress in stages until the world has become healed.However, were the world as a whole to be miraculously cured of evil and hate, it would follow that individuals would be cured.It's like a disease. First, find out what causes the entire body to be sick. Cure that one particular illness, and in return the entire body will be healthy.

The latter is of course just my opinion so feel free to jump-in with your opinion! I'm off the soap-box now so it's your turn. :)


Bill sent me an envelope filled with invaluable information. One line in particular stands out, and I'd like to share it here. I may post a few more lines throughout the day or next few days.

"...We receive the light and then we impart it..."
-The Kabbalah

This is in reference to the fact that we cannot begin to heal the world until we heal ourselves. We must first nourish our own souls so that we can next begin to nourish the world.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

If You Could Choose....

Which would you choose in this lifetime?

a. Sex, passion... knowing that someday the flame would slowly dwindle...


b. Eternal friendly love, knowing that it would last forever and on a more spiritual plane...


Do not let my adjectives sway you one way or the other. Please choose honestly.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Angel Poem

Angelman over at Angel Poems by an Archangel has sent me an angel poem that I requested from his site. It is beautifully written and when I read it tears came to my eyes. It really says a lot about me, I think. Be sure to check out the link above to read more of his poems!

Here is the angel poem:

There’s a sun always shining in this heart of mine.
It makes the roses bloom; it makes the sky clear.

No-one knows the trouble I’ve seen
nor the heartbreak
I’ve felt
in all the world.

Trans - muter.

Dreams from November 18, 2005

Dream 1:

I am a maid in a mansion (in England?) sometime during the 1800s. I am in a room when a ghost appears. It is flying overhead. This ghost has appeared before. I've finally had enough and am so scared out of my wits that I run out of the mansion, leaving my position for good. I have nowhere to go. I'm out on the streets. A man in a coat wraps his arms around me and tells me, "I'll take care of you."

Dream 2:

I hear a *pop* noise and see that a tiny little egg has just popped open. A tiny squirrel, not more than two inches high, emerges from the egg. I try to catch it by using a container. I get it cornered and finally it is in the container. I know that it won't survive on its own and I mean to take care of it. I try to feed it an apple. I bite a little piece out of the apple with the intentions of giving the piece to the squirrel. I accidently drop it on its head. It passes out. I worry that it is dead. Soon it wakes back up. I get a handful of leaves and place it in the container for the squirrel to have some bedding. Soon I realize that along with the leaves, a tiny turtle was put in the container unknowingly by me. I think to myself that I'll also take care of the turtle. I also think that the tiny squirrel and turtle will make great foster siblings. They will like growing-up together.

Dream 3:

I'm out in the ocean swimming. The waves are pushing me all over the place. I can hardly keep myself above water. I'm trying hard to get on a small boat that is also being tossed around madly by the waves. The water is so clear that I can see schools of fish and coral reef down below.

At this time I am only able to offer a possible interpretation of the third dream. A little over a month ago I went snorkeling in the ocean while in Mexico. I had snorkelled too far out. The waves were strong and it took all my energy to swim through them. I decided I had swam too far out and that it was time to snorkel back to the beach. I had so far to go. I started losing all my energy. I had to stop and float quite a few times. Eventually I thought I would drown. I started to panic and cry just a little bit. Luckily I made it back.

Synchronicity Journal November 18, 2005

Last night I had planned on telling John to watch the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Since the movie was on my mind, I put the soundtrack in my CD player to listen to. I didn't mention this to John.

Today, when I checked my email, there was a message from him with a link to a movie that he wanted me to see. When I clicked on the link, it took me to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

This is not a new release. In fact, it came out in 2004.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Synchronicity Journal November 17, 2005

Yesterday I was discussing a song with someone. The main line to the song goes, "Don't let it get you down; it's only castles burning. Find someone who's turning, and you will come around." Ever since that discussion I've had that song in my head. It's been playing over-and-over in my mind. A few moments ago I visited NondualReality's blog and saw that he made a post about castles. Also, I just now visited Beard's blog and saw that he just made two posts about a hiking trip to a place called "Castle Peaks".

Synchronicity never fails to surprise me.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Gave Me a Good Laugh

What is it about Buddhist monks that make one smile? Everytime I've been around one they've made me feel very happy. I was surfing around the internet and ran across this picture on flickr. It actually made me laugh out loud! See for yourself and just tell me if you don't think it's funny!

Dreams from November 16, 2005

Dream 1:

I'm sitting down on something that is moving. Maybe it is a cart or a carriage of some sort. My legs are crossed and they are showing outside the outfit I'm wearing. Some Muslim men see my legs, point to them and tell me to cover them.

Dream 2:

I'm a Jew. Some men throw stones at me. I keep calling them "shticks". (I have no idea what this word means.)

Dream 3:

I'm looking through the CD racks at a library. I'm looking at CDs that feature brainwave entrainment to help one have dreams.

Monday, November 14, 2005

I Found It!

OK, I know you guys remember me talking about Mystery Man #2. Well, strangely this guy is VERY similar to Mystery Man #1 only they have different names and different writing patterns, so they're clearly not the same guy, but they must both believe in the same thing. Mystery Man #2 taught me a little bit more than Mystery Man #1 because he was more revealing than #1. Anyway, I found a webpage which explains what the Mystery Man #2 was talking about! It makes sense to me, but it mentions that "all children up to the age of 28 will be educated [in this New Age]", and I'm almost 28 and haven't learned any of the techniques on building the bridge. I wonder if I'll be too old after my birthday in June? I almost feel in a hurry to find someone who knows more about this so they can explain it to me without running and hiding in a rabbit hole.

Here's the webpage:

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Dreams from November 12, 2005

I think Pollux/Castor might be feeling a bit sad that I've not posted dreams for a while. Well, I had some vivid ones this day that I remember as though they had really happened, I even remember the sense of touch.

Dream 1:

I'm at a wedding reception, sitting at a round table. Seated at the table with me is an older gentleman I had not seen in a while, perhaps in his early or late sixties. I look at him and then I begin to feel sad. It's because at one time I had been in a relationship with him, but now I am engaged to a younger man. I show him my engagement ring, which strangely is a diamond in the shape of a triangle, and just as strange it is on my right ring finger instead of my left. He looks disappointed, a bit sad even, but he says he is happy for me. We continue to watch the reception go on. While he is watching, I look at him, and I start to feel feelings for him again, and I wish I had not been engaged.

Dream 2:

My first memory of this dream is from a third-person point of view. I am looking at myself. I am a young girl, perhaps 15 or 16. I am in a man-made cage on the ground. There is no bottom to the cage, just gravel, and that is what I lay on. I'm wearing a type of scarf that lays over the top of my head and falls down to conceal part of my face; I see only my eyes. I'm laying prone on the ground on my stomach, partially pushed-up by my arms. I'm looking out of the cage. There is a man there, outside the cage. He makes a business out of me. He charges other men a dollar to come and place locks on my cage. He lets them believe that they're the ones who get to lock me up for the first time. One man - who's younger than the rest, perhaps in his late twenties or early thirties - accidently gets stuck in the cage with me. This is where I began to dream with a first-person point-of-view. I start to claw at the gravel as though I'm a caged beast. I remember really feeling the gravel on my hands. I make a growling sound, as though I'm about to attack the young man. I act like a wild animal.

The dream scene jumps to me outside with the man and a woman. I think she is his wife. The landscape is very watery, as though we're right outside the ocean. There is a building behind me. The woman is trying to push a lever on a pipe in order to get something to drink, but there must be a clog in the drain. I am conjuring up a way to escape, so I tell the woman, "Oh, there's a seagull's nest clogging the pipe. I'll go down and get it out for you." I figure that if I can get down below that I can run away. There must have been a flood recently, because there are giant turtles everywhere, especially on top of the building. I point to the turtles on top of the building in order to show everyone. They gasp at how huge the turtles are. They are bigger than King Kong! There is a turtle nearby. I walk up to it in order to pet its snout, but it hisses at me. I get scared and jump back. I say to the man - who you must remember is my captor - "Daa...". I almost said "Daddy".

Dream 3:

I think this dream might have been an out-of-body experience. It's not a dream with a story to tell; it's just a feeling. I'm floating, and I remember telling myself to start to fall. I feel the sensation of falling backwards, but I tell myself I'll be safe because there is a bed underneath my real body.

Dream 4:

I'm the passenger in an old airplane. The pilot is flying through rooms and doorways. He causes us to fly upside down a few times. I remember this feeling of being upside down and feeling as though he would crash, but I just held on to him and said to myself that I can trust him.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


I thought I'd share with everyone the expectations I've had about enlightenment. These expectations led to what I'd like to call "spiritual frustration".

I imagined (and still do imagine) that all kinds of wonderful things will happen to me once I become enlightened. Some might seem silly, but I believe these expectations might get in my way of actually ever becoming enlightened.

I will list some of them here for you. While I am able to consciously be aware of them and actually list them on paper, I still seem to think something different is going to happen to me, though I don't know what it is. I expect somehow I'll feel differently.

I imagined that, while meditating, I'd see colorful swirling mists or lights, and hear heavenly sounds.

I thought, while meditating, that a divine hand would reach down and pull me out of my body in order to have an astral projection.

I had hoped I'd meet this wise teacher or guru, who would take me under his/her wing and lead me directly to enlightenment. I pictured in my mind someone magically touching my forehead and saying, "You are now enlightened.... yada yada yada.... You are now one of us."

I even thought I'd meet my wise teacher in dreamland. If he didn't exist in the physical realm, as so many have tried to tell me, then surely he must exist in the astral. I imagined my guide would speak to me and teach me things, passing his wisdom down to me.

Were these just the silly imaginings of a twenty-something girl? Was I over-romanticizing the idea of enlightenment?

Will I feel any different?

I know I need to get rid of my expectations if I plan on getting further down the path, but these expectations seem to stick to me like chewing gum.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

Mr. Ego Just Made a Terrible Mistake!

Thanks to my friend Charlie for helping me realize something!

As you've read in an earlier post, I stated that "[The ego] must be killed off."

Only, Mr. Ego fooled me again, because, "Ego cannot be 'killed off' ... there is no ego, no separate entity."

Tuesday, November 8, 2005


I am not my thoughts or experiences. I am the observer. I am Awareness.


Today, while reading something, I had a thought. It was a thought that might sound quite shocking. Do I really want to be enlightened? After all, enlightenment might be like dying. Actually, it is dying. It's the death of the ego. Do I really want to die?

But then I realized my ego is fighting this process. It doesn't want to lose. It wants to survive. However, it must be killed off.
There's a new blog:

Monday, November 7, 2005


My new friend Bill quotes Krishnamurti on his blog, and this line in particular struck my fancy:

"What brings order in the world is to love and let love do what it will."


Ok, some of you that know me from my other blog remember me complaining about a "mentor" who magically appeared in my life and shed a little light on "spiritual things". Well, it's happened again. Another new voice - mysterious almost like the last one - has given me yet another hint. This time, this new guy mentioned something called a "Light-man". Has anyone ever heard of the Light-man? This guy wrote a few emails over the course of a few weeks, answered a few of my questions, and then vanished just like the previous guy. What is it with me drawing these guys who come and go, leaving little spiritual hints? They disappear as soon as they appear! It's frustrating, to say the least, because I want answers! If anyone has a clue on any of these words, let me know: Light-man, desire body, triad, three higher bodies....

And if that's not enough frustration, this guy gave me a puzzle to solve, and we had exchanged a few emails in which I was almost getting the answer right, and now he won't tell me if I was right or wrong! For those of you that know me, I have to solve puzzles. And if I don't get the answer right after numerous tries, I'd at least like to know the answer or I go crazy! :-o


Saturday, November 5, 2005

Synchronicity Journal November 5, 2005 [part 2]

As you recall, yesterday I made a post about elephants in my synchronicity journal. They've showed-up again. Today I was watching The National Geographic Channel, and a documentary was on about Hannibal and Rome. In the segment they briefly spoke of the elephants that were in Hannibal's army. Right after the documentary was over, another documetary came on. It was about elephants.

Dreams from November 5, 2005

Dream 1:

I'm on a school bus. I'm in a bathing suit and my hair is pulled back. I'm supposed to take a shower on the bus. I'm getting ready to take a shower when I realize I have forgotten my towel. As if that is not enough, I realize that I'm actually in college and shouldn't have taken a bus that goes to high school.

Dream 2:

I'm swimming in some water that isn't exactly very clean. I get a mix of seaweed and algae in my mouth. No matter how many times I try to spit out the green stuff, it keeps showing up in my mouth.

Dream 3:

Like Tarzan, I am swinging about on vines. Beneath me is a swamp. I'm swinging straight-ahead and realize I'm headed straight for some alligators that are laying there. I try to maneuver myself so as not to end up in their mouths! There is also a bear that is sitting by the edge of the water. I try to avoid him, too.

Dream 4:

I'm floating in some water on an inner tube. I'm reading a magazine.

Dream 5:

I'm sitting at a round table outside with two other men. One man is tearing pages from a book and lighting them in order to burn the pages. There is a book on the table that is so big it has to be over one-million pages long. I grab the book and claim it so that he won't burn it. The man sitting across from me looks pleased that I have decided to rescue the book from a fiery fate.

Synchronicity Journal November 5, 2005

I was online reading an article on Discovery Channel News about evidence that has been found that elephants mourn their dead. As I was reading the article, I got an email from Blogger stating that I had received a comment on my blog. The comment came from a new visitor to my blog named Nobody. I went to Nobody's blog and on the page was a post about elephants which included a painting of an elephant.

Friday, November 4, 2005

Nap Dream from November 4, 2005

My boss is over at my cubicle sitting by my desk. We are discussing a project that we're working on. On my desk is an open comic book.

Dreams from November 4, 2005

Dream 1:

I'm walking through the front yard of a house. Through the front storm door I see an elderly woman sitting on the floor of her house looking out the door. She is sad and crying. I stop in front of the door and tell her that I can come in and talk to her if she'd like for me to.

Dream 2:

I live in a house where an apparition of a man has been killing people in various rooms. So far I haven't been killed, but I'm very scared that sooner or later he will show-up in the room I am in and kill me. After a while I begin to wonder if he likes me, and that is why he hasn't killed me. But still, I am very much afraid of him.

Dream 3:

I am at a next door neighbor's house. We're watching the news on t.v. On the t.v. I see my house and lots of people bringing cats and sticking them under my house. I am surprised to see my house on t.v. I run to my house in a panic and tell everyone that I can't afford to take care of all these cats. The strange thing is, on the television, which was live news coverage, it was sunny outside, but when I run outside it is raining.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Dreams with Impact

This may be a very probing question. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. Dreams can be personal sometimes. Trust me, I know.

I would like to ask you this:

Of all the dreams you remember, which dream has been the most memorable?

Dream from November 1, 2005

[Note: In real life, I work with a girl named "Vannah". A couple of years ago a stray kitten showed-up at my house. At that point, I already had three cats and two dogs that I had adopted from the streets. I just couldn't fit another cat in the house, so I kept the kitten long enough to find it a home. When Vannah found out about it, she took the kitten in and has had it and loved it ever since.

Note 2: In real life, my father and stepmother own a Quaker parrot.]


Vannah and I are getting ready to walk into an animal shelter. At the door, before entering, I turn to her and say, "Vannah, I don't think I can go in there. I don't think I can handle seeing all the homeless animals knowing that I won't be able to adopt anymore of them." But I turn towards the door again and try to walk in. Again I am unable to enter. This goes on for a few minutes when suddenly a black and white cat with a flea collar brushes up against my ankles. I reach down to pet it. We enter the animal shelter and inside I see my father holding up a cage with a parakeet inside it.

Dream from November 3, 2005

I'm standing at the top of concrete stairs. They are big stairs, like in an arena. There are many people lined along the top with me. We each have a wine glass in our hands. All in synch, we walk down the stairs. At the bottom, we perform some sort of ritual with the wine glass. We touch the wineglass to various body parts, then break it on the ground. Everyone breaks theirs before I do, and when I do, I call out, "Everyone close your eyes! I'm getting ready to break some glass!"

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Chuang Tzu's Dream

This has been one of my favorite quotes:

"Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know whether I am Chuang Tzu, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterfly dreaming that I am Chuang Tzu."
~Chuang Tzu


What is the best gift - aside from family and friends - that you've been given? These don't necessarily have to be physical gifts; it's up to you.